Weekend

The weekend was fantastic! The boyfriend drove up north for a visit and we spent a lot of time relaxing and hanging out. On Saturday, he made reservations at a nice restaurant in a big city an hour away, so we drove there, went to dinner, walked around, stopped at a really awesome candy store, had some drinks, and then we to a comedy club he'd bought tickets for. BF is not usually a plan-ahead kinda guy, so I was really impressed by his effort. Plus, we had a ton of fun!

It was nice to have him visit, but it makes me think a lot about this career long term. Camp Director is a lifestyle. It requires 100% attention. I appreciate and admire 20+ years Directors even more than I did before. I want and have always expected that would be me too, but lately I'm wondering how I will manage to make the balance work. It was easy when I was single and could run off to the woods for 4 months. My roommates took care of my house and I could play all summer long. But dividing my time- attempting to give 100% of myself to camp, while also being a present and attentive girlfriend is really difficult.

There were several times this weekend when we were just relaxing on the couch or eating or sitting around, when groups of my staff knocked on my door needing something. In some cases they were being friendly, some had random questions- my door is open 24 hours a day and they pretty much need me that often. Late on Friday night, several of them knocked and crowded in. They had all been at the ice cream shop in town and the manager had accused one of the male staff (who happens to be black) of sneaking around earlier in the week and swimming in the pond behind the restaurant. The manager demanded to know which camp they were from and told them he would be calling me. All of the staff were outraged and came in to tell me all about the injustice of what they'd just experienced.

The staff in question does not have a car at camp, so the 15 miles from camp to town would have been a long way to walk. Also, with only 18 staff, it's not possible to "sneak out". I listened to their frustration at the blatant racism and absurdity they'd just encountered, calmed them down and eventually got back to the movie BF and I had paused. When you aren't used to crowds of needy 19 year olds, I'm sure it is overwhelming and annoying, so I appreciated his continued patience with how needed I am.

It's difficult to balance spending quality (not to mention super limited) time with him but still be present for the staff that need me. I think I managed to do so, but it's not easy. I love having people visit camp, but at the same time, it's so much easier to just allow myself to be completely, 100% focused on camp and forget about the rest of the world without bothering to balance. My family and friends have been really understanding of that and tolerate my 3 month absences well. A relationship is different and especially a brand new relationship can't exactly withstand that lapse, but I'm finding myself feeling very divided.

Balance aside, it was a sunny, wonderful, full weekend!