Tears- part 2

Okay, this was a "near tears" incident later in the day, but male staff hold out a little more because 19 and 20 year old guys will do almost anything to avoid crying in front of their 28 year old female boss.

I was in my house, battling my computer when Counselor K walked in. In training, he proved to be one of the strongest, best of my new staff, so when I had to choose one staff to be in a cabin alone this week, I chose him.

He walked in with tears in his eyes, taking a lot of deep breaths, shoulders slumped, and when I said, "how's it going" he just shrugged (a good sign that speaking is going to lead to voice breaking). I offered him a girl scout cookie and had him sit (collapse/deflate would be a more accurate description actually).

This week he has the oldest boys. 7th-9th grade males can be difficult to engage in silly songs and cabin spirit, and while they are actually enjoying themselves, admiring their counselor and trying to emulate him, what is coming out of their mouth is usually kind of sassy and disrespectful.

We talked for a while and there didn't seem to be any major disasters going on, mostly just teen attitude combined with an exhausted, overwhelmed, new counselor. I gave him several suggestions, several phrases that he could use in a discussion I suggested he have with them and by the end, he seemed calmer and less on the verge of tears.

I decided to make it "backwards night" and the older kids went to the showers and went to bed first, giving his group some extra time to talk, and maybe even get to bed a little earlier. I also pulled aside the ringleader of his boys to have a chat.

"On a scale of 1 to 10- 10 being an angel and 1 being a demon spawn, how would you say you have been this week?" I asked.

"Um, like a 5?"

"So by 5, you probably really mean like 3?" I asked.

"Maybeee...."

"And what number do you think you have the potential to be?" I asked?

"11." He said it so earnestly, I believed him (he really is a good kid).

"Okay, well, I need you to be Counselor K's assistant and help him out. You are a natural leader and the others boys will follow you. But leaders can lead positively or negatively and followers will go either way. So you need to start being more of an 11 and less of a 3."

"Can I just be a leader, do I have to be an 'assistant'" he asked.

"'Assistant' is nerdy? [yes]. Okay, definitely not assistant than. Just be unofficially the leader and stay cool but work with me here, okay?"

I've known this kid for a few years and he is a really great kid, and I felt like we were connecting as we were talking. So I am hoping I can guide him in the right direction and use his power to help make Counselor K's job a little easier. We'll see how it goes...