Summer number 9 has officially begun (for me- A & M have
been at camp for over 2 weeks now).
I’ve been going back and forth between desperately wanting
to be at camp and then a minute later feeling utter dread at the thought. It’s
always totally unknown- a 3 month adventure filled with surprises. That’s what
I love about camp. And that is what is terrifying about camp.
For years, I’ve imagined the future would include a baby at
camp. People have asked me what would happen when I got married and had a baby.
I always just shrugged my shoulders and said, “bring it with me.” But now I
have a baby and the thought of bringing him to camp has been keeping me up late
at night.
But finally after imagining all of the “what ifs”, buying a
second set of almost every baby item we have, packing for days and cramming the
van full of stuff, Baby X, Olivia and I drove to camp this morning. The drive
was smooth and went quickly.
When we arrived to camp, I knew Olivia would start freaking
out immediately and demand to play. A screeching dog adds a level of intensity
to arriving that I was dreading. Luckily A & M were ready for our arrival
and there to greet us as we pulled up. ‘A’ took Olivia to the field ahead of me
as the weather was a little colder than I’d expected, so I was bundling up the
baby. Just as I had him in a sweatshirt, secured to me in his wrap, the heavens
opened up and the rain POURED. Welcome to camp. ‘A’ stayed out on the field
with Olivia, despite the rain. I stood awkwardly in the house, not sure what to
do. I couldn’t bring a baby out in the rain. I couldn’t leave him in the house
by himself. I felt guilty that ‘A’ was outside in the downpour with my
obnoxious dog. Having a baby at camp will definitely be an adjustment for me…
The rain was INTENSE, but it only lasted 5 minutes and then
the sun came back out. A, M and I unloaded my van and also ‘A’s car, which she
had filled with all of the packages that had been arriving for me over the last
few weeks. We got everything into the trailer and it was a MOUNTAIN of stuff.
‘A’ had stopped by my house when she was home this past weekend. She picked up
the crib and high chair I got for camp and had both set up and ready for him.
It was a relief to have something set up in the midst of a tornado of stuff.
While we carried everything in, X sat in his high chair for
about 2 minutes before he started screaming. He is a very mild mannered baby
and doesn’t scream very often. Sometimes I can make it through the entire day
without him crying at all. So when he cries, it means he is upset. I was so
thankful that they helped me carry everything inside (by help, I mean, carried
everything while I tried to calm a screaming baby).
Olivia was soaking wet from the downpour, and when I went to
fill her water dish, I found that there was no water in my trailer. Screaming
baby, no water, wet dog, A&M carrying all of my stuff- I was pretty much
ready to burst into tears. A quick call to our plumbing/mechanical guy got the
water turned on. A& M went back to pre-camp work. Olivia relaxed. Baby X
continued to scream every time I tried to put him down. As I sat perched on the
edge of the couch (which was piled high with random stuff), and looked around
at the mess I couldn’t fix, holding my unhappy baby, I reminded myself that it
always takes a little while to settle in. I was surprisingly calm and didn’t
cry.
Eventually he calmed down and I got almost everything
cleaned, unpacked and organized. I still have more to do, but at 7pm, the baby
was asleep and so the lights were off, and I had to try not to make any noise
while moving around a tiny camper. I managed to unpack some things in the
bedroom area, take a shower and then sit down to watch Netflix. Of course that
was the moment the power went out- seriously, welcome to camp.
And so, we’re here. The wind is HOWLING and the power is out
and I’m worried that the baby will be cold, will wake up and be scared that he
is somewhere new… a million things. His crib is in the main room of the trailer
and I am in the pop out bedroom. We are about 15 feet apart, but he feels far
away from me. Every time the wind blows, I have to fight the urge bring him to
bed with me or sleep on the floor in front of his crib.
I know that we will both adjust, fall into a comfortable
routine, settle in. But until then, I’m anxious, uncomfortable and not excited
to be back to camp. Summer number 9 is off to a rainy, windy start…
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