Adjusting

Sunday was the first Sunday in 9 years that I wasn't at camp for the arrival of campers. Well, technically, last summer when my face swelled shut from poison ivy- THAT was the first time I missed the staff meeting and camper check in, but I was still AT camp that time, so this is the first time I've NOT been at camp.

Anyway, this was also the first time in 9 years that I was at the office to check in the kids who were riding the bus. It was similar to checking kids in at camp and overall uneventful.

Afterwards, I went home and hung out with my husband, baby X and my mom. We had a great afternoon and a lovely dinner at home. But it felt weird not to be at the first day of the session. The night before, 'N' and I had gone out to a fancy dinner to celebrate my grant and his promotion at work. We got dressed up and ate steak and lobster. We went out for ice cream afterwards. When we got home, we cuddled up on the couch and watched a movie. It was so relaxing and absolutely perfect. On Monday night, we went out to dinner again, this time for his birthday and this time with baby X. We ate sushi and had drinks while our cute perfect baby babbled happily at the table with us.

I love my life at home and I miss my husband, our house, our neighborhood, and our routine when I am at camp. It was nice to be home for a few days and be together as a family.

I also love my life at camp. And it is difficult to be away. It is weird to know that camp is in session and I am not there.

I have two parts of my life- both of which I love. It's probably a bit luxurious to complain about having too much goodness in life. I realize that. But it is really weird to have to split myself between the two.

I'm trying my hardest to fully enjoy both lives and not be stressed out. When I am at camp, even though I miss home, I am trying to focus on enjoying every minute of camp and not stress out about missing 'N' or being away. And when I am at home, I am trying to enjoy the fact that I have a fabulous life with a husband I love and not worry about not being at camp. A&M have camp under control and I don't need to worry.

And yet, when I got back to camp yesterday afternoon, I felt completely out of the loop. I hadn't met any of the kids and many of them didn't know who I was. There were already a million little jokes and stories from the 3 days of camp that I had missed. I feel disconnected and unsure of my role.

This week is weird. Not bad, just so different.

Working Mom

I went to the foundation to pick up the check today. It wasn't a formal thing, but they took my photo and asked if I could talk for a few minutes with some of the staff. I'd brought Baby X with me, because I didn't think I needed to get a babysitter for a 30 minute errand to pick up a check (even though it was a BIG check!).

In order to get there at 10am, which is when we'd agreed I'd come in, I ended up waking up baby X after about 20 minutes of his morning nap (which is usually an hour). I was nervous he would be fussy, so instead of carrying him in his seat, I wore him on my chest.

Luckily X is a SUPER easy going baby and was calm and quiet. When they asked if I could sit and talk about camp for a few minutes, I said yes of course, while in my head I was thinking, "please let this baby stay calm!"

I sat down and started talking and camp and answering their questions. X was quiet and sweet. He didn't make any noise, but eventually starting leaning back and tipping his head all the way back so he could look up at me while I talked. I was ignoring the fact that I had a baby on my chest, trying to be as focused and professional, as if I was wearing a business suit, not a baby.

I was feeling confident and poised, totally worthy of $31,000, the ultimate professional camp director. At which point X reached his tiny hand straight up and gently cupped my face in his hand, his tiny fingers resting right next to my mouth in a loving, tender way. I melt when he does things like that- he's just so cute. But this time I ignored him, pretending there wasn't a little hand on my face while I continued discussing the intended outcomes of our mission and how the grant money would be used to further our strategic plan.

They invited me to come back in August and said they would hold a luncheon for the entire staff so I could come and make a presentation about camp. I look forward to speaking to them without a little helper...

Camp Director/Mom

All of the staff (not the lead staff, but the counselors and support staff) get one night off per week. It starts after dinner-midnight. Wednesday night is Nanny’s night off. After dinner, X and I had our normal routine of bath, facetime with daddy, a bottle and bed. Once he was asleep, I wrote the daily camp blog entry, answered some emails and then the power went out.

No power means no water, so washing bottles, taking a shower and making a hot cup of tea were no longer on my to-do list. I actually have a few things to work on that don’t require internet, so I sat in my dark house and started typing, hoping the power would come back soon.

The power goes out a lot at camp, but it never gets any easier. Tonight was supposed to be the all camp dance party, and so I knew that ‘A’ and ‘M’ were going to have to find an alternative activity for 90 kids. We’ve done it before, and it’s all part of camp, and I knew they would be fine, but I was frustrated that I was sitting in my house instead of helping them plan. I could hear them talking back and forth on the walkie talkies and besides just the power outage changing the schedule at the last minute, I could hear ‘A’ being asked to deal with other issues.

And then ‘A’ came to my door. Camper J had hurt his knee during relays earlier in the evening and he heard a “pop” and couldn’t walk. Camper M had gotten mad at another girl in her cabin and slapped, then kicked her. ‘A’ came to my house to ask if I could come help.

X was asleep and the dining hall is probably about a football field distance away from my house. It’s not far and I wasn’t going to be gone long, but leaving him alone is not a good idea. I know that. I imagined him waking up and screaming and me not being there. I imagined someone sneaking in and stealing him. I imagined an unexpected tornado to pick up my house and carry it away with him inside.

I left him anyway.

I sat and talked with the hitter/kicker. She was sobbing when I got there. ‘A’ had sufficiently scared her into thinking she might have to go home and of course, the worse threat of all, going to get me. It’s a funny threat, because it is the ultimate worst case scenario that staff use, but I am always calm, nice and even when they really did something bad, I am usually pretty understanding and try to connect with them. But it’s a scary threat anyway, and she was crying, so I spent a little time talking to her about other ways she could have handled it and warning her that if she did anything like that again, she would go home. We called mom. We had a nice chat. She calmed down. She went back to her cabin.

Then I went upstairs and looked at the injured kid’s knee. It hurt, he couldn’t put pressure on it. Mom wanted him to go to the doctor.

‘A’ took Assistant Program Director M with her, got the camp van and they headed off to the ER. This is the first ER visit in 9 years that I am not there for. ‘A’ has been with me to most of the previous trips and she knows what to do. It’s a small hospital- you check in, give them the kid’s health form, sit with the kid and wait while the doctor checks them out. I don’t need to be there for it, but I always have been so it’s weird to stay home.

I checked in with “M” who was getting ready to send the kids back to their cabins without showering or brushing their teeth (since we have no water). She had a few staff filling water jugs with the water that was left in the pipes so that kids could fill their water bottles and then she was going to give the speech about how they wouldn’t be able to flush the toilets after going to the bathroom.

She was handling it and everything was under control. I had only been gone about 15 minutes. I wanted to stay in the dining hall and help manage everything, but I knew I needed to get back to my sleeping baby. He was fine- no screaming, no kidnappers, no tornado, just a peacefully sleeping baby in a dark house with no power.

I am struggling to adjust to being a camp director and a mom. Camp is running well. Despite all of the challenges tonight, everything was under control and kids were having a great time. I don’t need to be the one doing everything in order for camp to run. 

I GOT IT

A few hours ago, I wrote a post about struggling. I was dragging through the day.

And then I got THE CALL.

I got the grant. The proposal that I wrote in between staff training sessions, while sick, at the last minute... I got it.

$31,400.

The largest grant the organization has given of this kind. They chose to award the entire sum of the fund (the original range had been listed as $10,000-$30,000).

I ran into the camp store (where A&M were working) and said, "congratulate me!" they paused and then 'A' said, "you got the grant?!" and we all jumped up and down.

We currently have 45 kids registered for the week, so it is slightly anti-climatic- at this point, I NEED the grant. I have spent the money already. But that's not the point.

Up until this point, the largest grant that I've written a proposal for and received has been $5000. So, um, yeah, this is a lot more than that.

I got it. I got it. I got it. I am SO excited.

Struggling

It's Wednesday and I'm struggling with this week.

The first week is always difficult as counselors adjust and figure out how to actually do all of the things we taught them in staff training. They are late to everything, they look a little frenzied and I have the strong wish that there was a "pause" button and I could just give everyone a second to take a deep breath and collect themselves. We are tight on staff this summer due to the fact that we couldn't find male counselors to save our lives (so we only have 3 of them) and two of the female counselors we hired bailed right before training. So this week, several counselors have cabins on their own, rather than having a co-counselor. That always makes things challenging.

I am still a little bit sick- I can't seem to shake this cough/sore throat and I'm not feeling 100%. This morning, my allergies kicked in, so I took some benedryl and have been walking around in a fog all day.

And I'm still adjusting to having baby X here at camp. I don't love his nanny- she's super sweet and he always seems happy. He smiles when he sees her and she is doing a good job. But she's timid and doesn't come across as very bright. So even though she is taking good care of him, I don't feel confident in her. I have to resist the urge ALL day to go to wherever they are and take him.

I'm just not quite in the groove yet. This is normal, I know this feeling and I know that it won't feel like this forever. We will settle into a routine and I will feel comfortable in my own skin and camp again. Every summer is it's own experience. I just need to put one foot in front of the other until I feel steady.

Nonstop

A typical day at camp! I'm exhausted!

I woke up, fed the baby, got ready for the day and got us out of the house early to go print schedules that I had been up until 1am working on. We had a camper birthday, so at breakfast, we did our birthday crew march around the dining hall.

After breakfast, I brought X back to my house and snuggled him a little while I waited to hand him off to nanny. And then it was a whirlwind of activity- I took a group of 10 year olds canoeing, helped 45 kids tie die tee shirts, then it was nanny's break so X joined us as we helped the other 50 kids tie dye shirts. Lunch, rest time and then a full afternoon of making sure all of the kids and staff were going where they needed to go and doing what they needed to do.

After dinner, X and I took Olivia out to play and then it was baby bath time, facetime with daddy, drink a bottle and then he passed out! Tonight is time for emails, the camp blog, doing laundry, washing bottles, and hopefully an early bedtime!

X is adjusting to camp very well. He doesn't seem phased by 90 kids shouting and banging on tables with spirit. He was out and about all day today with nanny and he is very smiley and friendly to the groups of kids who come over to him. He's happy and falls to sleep immediately at nap time and bedtime.

We're both exhausted and adjusting to the pace of camp!!

First Day of Camp

The first day of camp is here.

'N' and I (and baby X) started the day by going to breakfast to celebrate Father's Day and then it was time for our pre-camp staff meeting and waiting for the bus to arrive. Today was HOT. I was sweaty almost immediately. But I'd rather be hot than have it rain, so I was counting my blessings for the weather.

It was a very smooth first day. The staff were calm and looked prepared before kids arrived. 2 busses arrived and 90 kids tumbled out. Over half of the kids are returners, so it was fun to greet familiar faces. It's also nice because they know what they are doing and how camp works. It was your typical first day chaos- the counselors went from calm and confident before kids arrived to a sort of stunned look of shock as actual kids are so much different than just talking about kids in staff training. Dinner was a little hectic as the schedules had been printed incorrectly and everyone showed up early.

But overall, for the first day it was really smooth, really uneventful...

And then it wasn't.

After dinner I'd gone back to my trailer to give X a bath and put him to bed. I was going to work on emails, the camp blog, schedules, etc and then nanny was going to come when the opening campfire started so I could go. X had a bath, video-chatted with Grandma, had some milk and went right to sleep. I was working on my computer when the thunder started.

Over the walkie talkies, we decided to move the campfire into the basement of the dining hall. No fire, but you can still sing all the songs, watch the skits and do all of the same things that you do at a campfire.

Because it was raining, I told 'A' to keep nanny and I'd skip the "fire" so neither of us would have to run across camp in the rain.

The tornado warning alert came on my phone about a second before the sirens started going off. The wind was BLOWING and the rain was getting heavier. It only took me a few seconds to grab X's bag, throw a bottle into it, RUN to my van, back it up to my door, grab the carseat, gently lift a sleeping baby out of his crib and put him in his carseat, cover the carseat in my rain coat, run the few steps to my van (while simultaneously urging a fat bulldog to run as fast as she could to the van (she seemed to sense the urgency and she was very fast), and speed across camp to the dining hall. 'A' was standing outside, ready to meet me and help me wrangle a bulldog while I ran a baby inside. Start to finish, it took me about 2 minutes to flee across camp.

We sat in the staff locker room, which is separated from the main room of the basement by a partial wall. The kids were singing loudly, unaware we were in a tornado warning. X was his typical good natured self, looking around in awe, smiling at everyone and calm, despite the LOUD singing on the other side of the wall. Olivia was upset she couldn't be with the kids, so she spent some of the time barking. 'A' and I sat and looked at every weather app we both had and kept shaking our heads.

We were only in the basement about 30 minutes and then everything was clear, the sun came out and the rain stopped and I took my baby back to his bed in our little tin can of a home.

This is the first time in 9 summers that we've actually had a tornado warning and had to be in the basement. I guess we are starting the summer with a bang.

Gambling

For the record, I am NOT a gambler. I like to be sure about things and I hate making mistakes, so I try to be prepared before I make any decisions.

Today I made a choice and as I made it, I said, "this is me learning things the hard way." I am HOPING that everything works out. But I am 100% sure that I am going to look back and say, "oh boy! I would do that SO different next time." And I HATE that. Because I don't want to mess things up.

I'm in the midst of applying for a $30,000 grant. As in, it's like 99.9% done and I probably could have hit "send" today, but it's not due until Friday and so I am waiting until the morning to look at it again. This isn't a typical grant, because I am pretty sure, mostly sure, kinda sure, that I am going to get it. I've spoken with the woman at the organization giving it several times and she has basically told me it is mine to lose.

Unrelated to the grant, a few weeks ago, we decided to cancel the July 4 camp session. Our last two weeks of the summer are FULL and have waitlists, but we only had 11 kids registered and it didn't look like we'd get enough in the next few weeks to run it. So we cancelled. We managed to move all of the kids, so it was fine, but we have out of state staff who will still be here and all of the staff were counting on working that week, so it's a bummer. It's actually a huge headache, but I'm trying not to let it stress me out.

So back to this grant- based on the criteria and several conversations with the granting organization and my board, this money will be used to send kids to camp. There are other things we could have possibly proposed, but this is the best option. We could wait until next year to use it, but registration isn't quite where I want it for this summer (I had an aggressive goal for this year) and so we want to use it to bring kids THIS summer.

Since the last two (and almost the last 3) sessions are full, what better week to target than that stupid July 4 week. Except that it is in 3 weeks. Which is a SHORT turn around to register kids.

After I spoke to the grant woman on Monday, I made literally 30 phone calls to try to figure out where I could find 50 kids to come to camp in 3 weeks. It's free camp, but still, it's in 3 weeks. Well, I found my source. And several people who are EXCITED to help me spread the word. And they've eagerly been calling me. And I've been avoiding their calls because I am thrilled that they want to get a bunch of kids to camp on such short notice and I appreciate their support and I really appreciate their sense of urgency. But I don't actually have the grant yet.

So, if kids are going to sign up for camp in 3 weeks, they need to be doing so NOW. The grant is due Friday and the committee is meeting early next week. But by the time I find out about the grant, it will be too late to get kids registered.

The CORRECT answer is to add a session on at the end of the summer in August or to wait until next summer. BUT, that is not what I WANT to do. I want to run camp during the empty week, which will utilize my staff, fill a week that otherwise would just be wasted and rock my numbers (and budget) for the summer.

And so today I decided to gamble. I opened registration and sent out the information to the people who are going to help me get campers. And within an hour, I had 5 registrations. And with every registration that popped up, I got a little more nervous.

And now I am FREAKING out. I DO NOT have a backup plan if we do not get the grant. I can't cancel 50 kids who are expecting free camp. I can't run a week of camp for FREE. I NEED to get the grant, there is NO option for failure.

I am FULLY aware that I created this problem and I should have been practical and logical and smart about this. DO NOT SPEND MONEY YOU DON'T HAVE OR EVEN KNOW IF YOU WILL GET! Ugh. This could be SUCH an expensive lesson.

It could work out... and be awesome...

But it could also be a disaster....

We'll just have to wait and see.

A Trip to the Doctor

We’re a little over halfway through with staff training and it is going well. “M” is doing such a fantastic job and several times, I have found myself thinking, “oh she’s doing that so much better than I would have!” The staff seem to be bonding and are definitely getting more comfortable.

I, however, woke up in a coughing fit several times last night and started this morning feeling even worse than yesterday. The weather was cold and misty and I just wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep all day.

Instead, I taught canoeing for 3 hours. I tried to make an appointment at the clinic in town, but the earliest they could get me in was tomorrow. They suggested I go to urgent care, which is at the hospital about 45 minutes away. I knew that if I went to urgent care, I’d be gone for most of the afternoon and it felt weird to think that I could leave for such a long time during such an important time for camp. Even when I’m not the person leading the training, I’m always here while it’s going on.

However, the older I get, the less willing I am to “tough it out” when I don’t have to. And in this case, I knew that training was going on without me and we have health insurance for this very purpose. So I went to urgent care and ended up with antibiotics and an inhaler. It only ended up taking 2.5 hours total. Hopefully I will wake up feeling much better tomorrow.

Mom Stuff

My mom left this afternoon and I'm sad she is gone. It has been so nice not to have to worry about 'X' while I am busy with staff training. I know that he's in good hands with someone who loves him. And I appreciate being taken care of too, especially when I am busy, sick and trying to balance the intense camp training schedule with a baby. I've always appreciated my mom, but now that I am a mom, and I have a tiny little human who relies on me for everything, I appreciate her even more. It's nice to be taken care of and her caring for me makes me a better mom. So I'm sad to see her go, but I know she'll be back a lot this summer.

Speaking of moms, yesterday was Nanny's birthday and she had asked me a few days ago if her mom and sister could come to camp after training ended (9pm) to stay with her in her room and they would leave the next day before training started (8am). Normally I would say no. We don't allow visitors during staff training. But it was such a pathetic request that I couldn't say no. I even suggested that they stay and join everyone for mass in the morning and leave from the church. I just couldn't stop thinking that, yes, she seems to old to want to hang out with her mom on her birthday. But then I thought about my baby and how sad I will be if I am not with him on his birthday, regardless of his age. And then I wanted to cry and so of course I said yes to a visitor during staff training.

After training ended tonight, I met with 'J' who arrived to camp today. Being present for all of staff training is mandatory and I generally won't hire someone if they can't commit to training. 'J' was scheduled to arrive on Thursday afternoon. Instead, I got a voicemail. "Hi this is 'J'. Everything is fine, but I rolled my car off the side of the road on the way to camp, so I don't think I'm going to be able to make it today... no, actually, I know I won't be able to be there today. I'll be there as soon as I can."

So, she figured out the one excuse that I couldn't possibly argue with.

Anyway, she arrived today and within minutes was literally the BEST staff member. She is outgoing, friendly, super happy, well spoken, she is perfect. I sat down with her to recap the last three days, but I started with, "so tell me what happened!"

A semi truck drifted into her lane, she went onto the gravel side of the road, overcorrected and ended up rolling her car. As in, she was hanging upside down by her seatbelt. With a smile, she told me how several nice people stopped to help her and helped break her car window to get her out of the car. She told the story so casually and she has such a naturally sunny disposition, I couldn't quite process the insanity of her story.

All I could say at the end was, "and your parents let you out of the house after all that?!" Because all I could think was that 'X' is never going to be allowed to drive, or ride in a car on the freeway, or in a car at all....

Being a mom is making me a much different camp director. When I first started out as a director, I was their peer. It was really difficult, because I wanted to hang out with them and be included, but I was separate, because I was their boss. As I got older, that separation became comfortable and each year, they seem younger and younger. But this year, they don't just seem young, when I look at them, I see babies. These are all someone's baby. It doesn't matter that they are 19 or 20. 'X' is 8 months and I have no idea how I will feel in 18 years, but right now, I feel like I want to wrap him in bubble wrap or buy one of those giant sterile bubbles and throw my body in between him and the world. And I don't know if I'll feel less protective when he's 19, but I have to think that if he rolls his car, I will never let him out of my sight from that moment on.

I'm not sure I am old enough to be a mother figure to any of them, although technically I am old enough that it is possible for me to have given birth to them. But the way I am looking at them this summer is different than ever before, because I see them with eyes of a mother, which makes everything and everyone look a little different than before.

Staff Training Year #9!

Today was the first day of staff training. I love staff training week. I love watching staff go from awkward, nervous strangers to outgoing, laughing friends in just a few days. I love watching them be creative. I love sharing every single detail about camp.

Today, however, I am sick. I started feeling sick yesterday and I woke up with no voice. NO VOICE! The first three days of training are literally hours and hours of me talking and I had no voice before I even started.

I had to save my voice for the sessions I really needed to lead, which meant that ‘M’ gave a lot of direction and lead all of the first get-to-know-ya games and songs.

For 8 years, I have started every staff training off with “the Great Big Moose” song. No one else knows that, but it’s my own tradition and I always feel like it’s the kick off. It was so weird for me as ‘M’ lead a different song. It’s such a small thing, and I know it doesn’t matter, but change is difficult and that was the first of many changes I know will be coming this week and this summer.

I made it through the day, doing my best to talk when I needed to and let ‘M’ and ‘A’ read power point slides or lead songs and games. The next two days are scheduled to be a lot of sessions lead by me, so I’m trying to rest and hoping that my voice miraculously comes back soon.

Flying Kites

Finding the joy

Today was the first day of lifeguard training. I always complain and dread lifeguard training, and then it starts and I remember that I actually really enjoy it. ‘N’ has been at camp since Saturday and has been taking care of ‘X’ so that I can work. It is really nice having him here.

I’ve only been at camp 5 days, but the most difficult part of this summer so far, has been that I feel really isolated and lonely. When I first started at camp, it was difficult to be close in age to the staff, but not a peer. It’s been many years since I have struggled with that. I’ve gotten comfortable in my role as the leader. I enjoy my time with staff and love the bond I have with the lead staff team.

But this summer, I’m completely disconnected. Since I’ve been here, my schedule has revolved around X’s nap and bedtime schedule. I have spent a lot of time in my trailer by myself while he sleeps.

It’s not terrible, but the fun part of pre-camp is all of the random things to do around camp. No, I don’t enjoy the specific acts of cleaning or carrying random things, but I enjoy being part of a team, accomplishing things that need to get done and the camaraderie of doing dirty, hard work together. But I’m not doing any of that. Because even when he is awake, I can’t help with those things with a baby strapped to my chest. A&M have made it clear that they don’t NEED me, and I know they are doing a great job. But I miss being part of things.

‘N’ being here to take care of the baby has given me the chance to finally spend some time just hanging out, chatting, laughing and being part of the group. Tonight after dinner, I took Olivia to the field to play and a few staff came out to fly kites and a few just to hang out and watch the kite flying. Flying a kite is the ultimate act of leisure. And watching them fly kites was hilarious and fun and wonderful and I haven’t laughed that much in a long time. Olivia was running after the ball, kites were floating through the air, the air was warm, everyone was in a good mood, joking around and I finally found the joy in camp that I have been missing this year. Tonight was the camp that I remember and love and look forward to be able to spend my summers.

I know that once the nanny is on duty and once I find a routine, camp will go back to being fun and (somewhat) carefree. And in the meantime, I just have to be patient and ok with the change this year. This summer is going to be different than the ones before it, but I know it will get better.

It Takes A Lot to Surprise Me

This is my 17^th summer of camp. I thought I was past being surprised, but I was wrong.

Today is the first staff arrival day. Everyone was supposed to be here between 1-5pm. Last night, I got a voicemail from a staff (‘E’). He asked if he could arrive early- he wanted to come last night. He said in his message that he didn’t have a cell phone. We attempted to call the landline on his application and assumed he wouldn’t come without confirming that it would be ok.

A&M said they went to bed (and turned off the house lights) around 11pm. He hadn’t arrived, so they figured he wasn’t coming.

I went out to the field to play with Olivia at 10am. I was singing to X and when we were finished playing, I turned to walk back towards my house and saw someone standing in front of the Welcome Center. I recognized ‘E’ from the picture he sent for the website.

I greeted him and asked where he had come from since I hadn’t seen a car. He said he had arrived the night before. My face was surprised and he said, “I hope you don’t mind, I put my stuff in there (the welcome center)”. I asked him where he slept (the cabins are so creepy when you are alone and especially if he arrived so late at night!). On that table (he pointed to the big picnic table that sits outside the welcome center). “WHAT?” I asked him. He assured me that he’d arrived after it had rained and that it was fine.

I couldn’t decide if I was going to cry because he was so pathetic that he slept on a damp hard table outside in the dark. Being a mom makes me imagine everyone as a tiny helpless baby.  OR, if I was annoyed at him for being dumb. Why didn’t he walk around and find a cabin? Why didn’t he sleep inside the welcome center? Why didn’t he find the humans that were at camp? Why didn’t he find a phone? And then I felt sad again because I wondered what kind of parents drop their baby (ok, yes, he’s 19, not a baby, but he’s SOMEONE’S baby!) in the dark without finding anyone?

He was very calm and easygoing and totally unfazed by the whole thing. I was HORRIFIED and continue to be COMPLETELY confused by his thought process. A&M and I agreed he’ll probably be a good camp staff since he has absolutely zero standards of comfort. But I can’t stop shaking my head in disbelief.