A few weeks ago, I sent the board president and vice president an email telling them that camp was going well I really felt that we needed to have some conversations about keeping the doors open. Although the challenges (my reasons for why I wanted to leave camp) were still there, there is too much history and too much goodness to close the doors.
I wasn't sure how it would go over.
The only reason they talked about closing camp was because I said I was going to leave. Prior to that, they were willing to ignore the budget shortfalls and dependence on prayer as a method of survival.
I wasn't sure if they would tell me I was too late or that now that we'd openly talked about the problems, they were too much to ignore.
They came for a visit to camp on the last day. It wasn't the ideal day for them, but they got to see the kids and the staff and the beautiful well cared for grounds. They watched closing chapel in awe. The board president told me, "you were amazing! I wish I had video of that!" I have done basically the same speech and same routine for 6 years, but I was glad he enjoyed it and was impressed.
We didn't talk much about the future while they were at camp. They both said I was glad I had changed my mind about wanting to quit and we scheduled a meeting for when I returned.
Today I met with them and was 100% unsure of what they would say. I was less nervous than I expected, knowing that they might say, "it's over". I presented the budget through the end of the year. We will be about $80, 000 in the red by January. The board president jumped right into discussing ways we could cut here and there and also potential ways to fundraise more money than last year. And then the vice president chimed in and said, "wait, let's go back and tell us why you changed your mind."
I told them that last summer was more difficult than I'd expected. My dad had died just 6 months earlier and it was harder to be at camp than I had anticipated. And then camp flooded. We put up photos and video and had a "can do" attitude. I was positive every step of the way, but months later, I started to really think about all of the things that could have gone wrong, all of the responsibility I'd really had and I got scared.
And while having the consultant at camp had been a really positive thing, her stark dose of reality had really crushed my spirit. I've been fully aware of the challenges since day 1, but my idealism and optimism carried me through. My ability to focused on hope, rather than reality was what kept me going.
I told them that having such a positive summer was healing. And that speech that they were so impressed with- the one where I talk about our long history, what makes us so special as a camp and that the kids always have a place to belong at our camp- those words sunk in deeply this summer and I knew we couldn't give up.
I told them that I am still frustrated by the challenges and I am still just an "ok" fundraiser. I told them that I am still willing to step aside if they can find someone more qualified to save camp, but that if me being the director is what they want in order to keep camp open, I am in if they are.
Both of them shrugged, nodded and then the vice president said, "okay, well, our first board meeting of the year is in September. Let's never speak of the conversation we had in the spring- no one needs to know we almost closed camp. We've got $100,000 on our credit line. So we are okay for this year."
And that was that for now.
The little camp that could will continue.
The battle to find Catholic kids without support from the church continues. The battle to raise money continues. The battle to run a 66 year old falling down camp continues. I still don't really have any ideas for any of those challenges, but maybe this lucky #7 is the year I figure it out.
I couldn't be happier.
No comments:
Post a Comment