PART 2- It's Not You, It's Me... Except That It's Mostly You

I met with J&M (the board president and vice president). I had a speech prepared.

I told them I love camp and that for 6 years, I've had the unwavering belief that we could be successful. I told them that I am 100% committed to the summer ahead and that it was sure to be the best summer yet.

I told them that I have some major concerns about camp.

#1- After 66 years, we should have a strong, passionate community who cares about camp. But if we were to close tomorrow, I think that a few people would be sad, but there wouldn't be anyone who rose to the occasion to fight for camp. I feel like this camp is running mostly because I continue to show up every day, not because it is an important organization to a large group of people.

#2- I've done everything I can with paint, cleaning supplies, and a hammer and nails. My dad made some great improvements. But this camp is falling down. We need a million dollars (probably more) to actually update the buildings. I think we are a windy day away from cabins falling like dominoes. I can't run a camp that just waits around until things fall apart. Things fall apart when I am attempting to run programming which is unsafe and stressful.

#3- There's a lot of competition in the market- other camps but also summer sports, academic programs, etc. I am looking around at our struggling little camp wondering if, at some point, we ask ourselves, "can we compete?"

I told them that they have 4 months to find a new director. Not just someone who loves kids, camp, the outdoors, but a marketing/fundraising/business expert.

They told me they'd had conversations about what they would do if I decided to leave. They told me that they'd asked themselves for a long time how long we would keep camp going. They told me that they didn't think anyone else could have done what I did. They told me that they didn't think there was anyone else who could do any more than I've done and that without me, they don't think camp can go on.

Um....

I appreciated their kind words and assurance, but I didn't think my quitting was going to be the end of a 66 year old camp. I want to quit so someone more qualified can come in and fix what I couldn't.

So the plan for now is to have a normal summer and then in the fall, meet with the board and close camp. We'll see the property and convert the 501c3 into a foundation. They asked if I want to run the foundation. I said I'd need more details but that I'd think about it.

My head is spinning. I leave for camp in a month. I am not sure how I can just be normal for the summer, but I guess that's my only option at this point...