MA came to me earlier this week and asked to talk. He told me he was putting in his two weeks notice. I wasn't surprised because nothing MA does or says surprises me. MA is one of the sweetest, most genuine 18 year old boys I've worked with. He is desperate to belong, has not been given enough guidance or support in his life and he is the most coach-able staff I've ever had. He takes in everything I say and genuinely listens and changes based on the guidance I've given him. But he is also immature, needs constant attention and his reaction to every issue is to run away.
He and APDM have been having a little romance, which I predicated was probably going to end in blood and flames, or at least tears, and as predicted, last week, MA lost interest. Instead of talking to M, he starting ignoring her. Camp is a small community and everyone is involved in everyone else's business, so the rest of the staff turned on him and now everyone is upset. Instead of dealing with it, MA decided he should quit.
I told him what I thought was going on and that he should just go have a conversation with M and deal with it maturely and then stay at camp. He tried to tell me he's been miserable for weeks but when I responded with, "this isn't prison, you don't have to stay here, you are free to leave tomorrow" his response was, "I have a lot to do before I leave. I would have to teach someone everything I do." I didn't mean to laugh, but I've been taking care of camp for 4 years and I taught him everything, so it was a cute/funny response.
I reminded him of the canoe trip from staff training. I told them that at some point, they'd be tired or frustrated and would want to quit, which is the same as the summer. But, like the canoe trip, they would have to find strength to continue on and not quit. This was that moment for him.
I also told him that whether or not he liked it, he was part of this crazy camp family and he needed to stop resisting it and understand that he is an important part of us who can't just quit when it gets hard.
With some more lecturing, eventually he agreed to think about quitting and also to go talk to M. The next day, his attitude was entirely different and when I jokingly said something about how much I would miss him in 2 weeks, he said, "I told you I would think about it, I haven't actually given my two weeks." I smiled and nodded and didn't say anything, but in my head I gave myself a high five for winning another victory with him.
On Thursday he asked to talk to me again. This time he was letting me know he couldn't go to the baseball game we had tickets for. A few weeks ago, some of the staff had asked if we could go into the city for a baseball game. I emailed the board of directors, asking if anyone had access to free or discounted tickets. One of them responded that he had a suite we could use (retail- $3000. Yay for rich board members!). The staff were all beside themselves with excitement, MA included.
Originally, MA had planned to stay with some of the other staff at Counselor A's house, but they are all 21 or older and wanted to go out on Saturday night. MA couldn't go with them because he is 18. Once again, instead of dealing with a tough situation, his response was to run away. He told me he'd made other plans and couldn't go.
Once again, I called him out and told him I could see through him- he was excited to go but then it got difficult, and he wasn't trying to figure it out. I told him he was going to stay at my house with some of the other staff and I wasn't giving him a choice in the matter. I reminded him that he was an important part of our family and that we wanted him to be there. And once again, his attitude changed and he went from sulky and "I don't even like baseball, I don't wanna go" to excited. He wants to belong so badly and struggles so much when he feels left out. But he also turns around quickly, which makes him really fun to redirect. The changes that he has gone through in just 2 months of being at camp are amazing. I am so proud of him and I know camp has been a life changing experience already. He's a high-maintenance Maintenance Assistant, but he's worth the effort.
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