Leading

On Thursday, Counselor N asked if they could take the amp van into town to go to Target and the movie theater. PDS and PDP were both leaving for the weekend and so there wasn't anyone else who could drive the van so I told him that I could take them if they wanted to go. He hesitated and reacted awkwardly. I joked with him that I could drop them off a block away if they were embarrassed about hanging out with their boss. I knew it wasn't that, rather, he felt awkward about asking me to give up my day off to take them into town. But I didn't mind and they wanted to go, so this morning, we all gathered to venture into town for the day.

With 13 people, all of whom want to do something different, a day like this can be long and painful. It's difficult to organize a group that big and often with group dynamic, no one wants to take the lead and put themselves at risk of making the wrong decision. On the weekends, I try not to manage the staff as much as I can. I control every waking move of their lives during the week, so I don't want to boss them around all weekend too. But no one had a plan for the day, just a long list of places people wanted to go.

So I printed out the movie choices and times and suggested a plan for the day. We started at Target, which everyone wanted and then they were going to go see a movie. I thought everyone was going, until it was time to go and I said I wasn't going to go and then half of them decided not to go too. The problem with group dynamics is that most people will go along with the crowd, rather than speak up about what they'd rather do. My doing something different made it possible for those who didn't want to see the movie to have an alternative.

The movie-goers left for the theater and I wasn't sure what the rest of us were going to do. I asked what they wanted to do and everyone said, "I don't know... whatever..." I was hungry, so I said I was going to get lunch. When we pulled up to the restaurant, they were all talking about being hungry. Why hadn't any of them spoken up?! I know it is tough to be the leader of the group. But the truth is, most people don't want to lead, are happy to go along with the crowd, and happy to have someone else make the plans. I was happy I could be that person to keep the day organized, productive and give people choices about what they were doing.