New Eyes

The main building at camp is the bane of my existence. The kitchen and dining hall are upstairs and the lower level are the staff bathrooms, camper bathrooms and showers and a big open area that is "general purpose".

When I think of that building, I shudder. I feel apprehension and dread before I enter the building.

My first year of camp, the Director had not hired a cleaning crew in order to save money. Each night, 30-40 kids would go through each bathroom, brushing their teeth, and showering. By the last kids, the floor would be covered in mud, paper towels, clumps of hair, and piles of paper towels. I remember walking into the bathroom, girls refusing to shower because the stalls were so filthy. I would kneel down and scoop piles of mud and yuck out of the shower with my hands in order to make it possible for them to stand in it. I stayed up late, night after night, exhausted, but doing my best to sweep, pick up garbage, get it to a basic level of functioning. Each weekend, once the kids left, my staff and I would spend hours cleaning. It was miserable, and while they were good sports about it, exhausted 19 year olds cleaning for hours is the most awful thing I've ever been part of.

Every time I walked into that building the first year, I felt overwhelmed and crushed by the magnitude of the mess. No matter how much work I put into it, there was nothing I could do. Likewise, the kitchen was filthy, the whole dining hall smelled funny and the bathrooms upstairs were filthy. The whole building was a disaster. I was embarrassed, frustrated and I didn't know what to do.

Last year I had the volunteer work crew cleaning and they did a pretty decent job of keeping it clean. I still felt overwhelmed and frustrated by how much of a mess the building was, but it was slightly better.

This year I hired a woman to clean for 30 hours a week. She is magical. I have not witnessed her cleaning, but somehow she got the dark orange, iron stained showers to be white, gleaming white. And every time I walk into the bathroom, it smells refreshingly clean, like lemons and rain.

This morning, the county inspector came to camp to test the water. I had to walk him around camp to several different locations. When we walked into the lower level of the lodge, he said, "wow! this is such a cool place." I thanked him and then I had a nearly out of body experience.

When I walked in, I felt the same sinking feelings of dread and stress that I have felt for the past three years. But when he said that, all of a sudden it was as if I was looking at it for the first time. I looked at the "shoe zone" which is an area we have designated for kids to leave their shoes so as to avoid the mud created by dirty shoes + wet floors. We have big, brightly colored shoe outlines decorating the wall and cubbies to store their shoes. Off to the left of that is the "chill zone". Rows of book shelves filled with fun kids books and games, surrounded by bright pictures and signs. The area is marked off by a bright outline with colorful footprints, has a nice carpet for kids to sit on, bright bean bag chairs and big pillows and Christmas lights decorating the ceiling.

The lockers are decorated by bright signs with camper names, and everywhere you look is well swept, organized, neat and looks like an inviting place for kids to hang out. It took us three years, but it's a whole new place. As I looked around, I thought, "whoa! He's right, this place is awesome! Why do I still feel stressed out?" I think I have post traumatic stress disorder from my first summer at camp.

When we walked upstairs to the dining hall, the light way pouring through the skylights in such a way that the whole room was glowing. The big colorful prayer signs were bright and made the whole room colorful. It smelled like cookies and it was spotless and clean. My cook this year is also magical and the kitchen is the most spotless, organized place I have ever seen.

As we walked through the building, I was in awe and it was like the first time I'd ever been there. This camp is becoming the camp I have dreamed about and believed it could be. I feel very proud and very hopeful for the future to come.