Homesickness- Step By Step

We have an epidemic on our hands this week and it is spreading, infecting kid after kid... HOMESICKNESS.

We are in week 6 and so far, we've only had a few cases. None have been serious enough to require a visit to my office or a phone call home. But today, I called 4 parents and have plans to call another first thing tomorrow morning. The kids are from several cabins, different ages, female and male, new campers and returners... there doesn't appear to be a pattern or any way of predicting who is going to get hit next.

I have a very well planned strategy that is nearly almost always successful in dealing with this situation. When I was a camper, I was SUPER homesick- should have been sent home because there was no hope for me- level homesick. So I can totally relate and I have a special place in my heart for these campers.

Step one- calm them down, make them stop crying by asking lots of questions about their activities, what they are excited for, their pets, anything. Olivia and Griffin are also helpful in the distraction phase of the plan.

Step two- set small goals to break their day and week into manageable parts. Almost always, homesick kids are exhausted, so usually their first goal is to go to the health center and sleep for at least and hour. They don't have to focus on anything else except that. They usually agree to do that, regardless of how hysterical or adamant they are about going home.

Step three- while they sleep, I call mom or dad. I explain the situation and let them know that while I don't usually encourage kids to speak with their parents (even happy kids can turn hysterical if they hear a parent's voice), I like to keep them involved. In my experience, a parent's greatest fear is that their kid is miserable in some way and no one is paying attention and that at the end of the week, they will find out their child has been tortured the whole time. So I am very clear with parents that no news is good news but they will hear from me right away if something is wrong.

Step four- coach the parents. Sometimes a nap and being distracted can make homesickness go away. But if it continues and the child is demanding to be sent home, a call to the parents can help. Calls can go one of two ways. If a parent says, "try it out, but if you hate it, I will come and get you" there is little hope for that child. The child will know they have an "out" and they will not even attempt to make it at camp. The other option is if the parent says, "we're proud of you, you can do this, if you make it, you can have a reward at the end of the week, and [most importantly] there's no way we are coming to get you". 99% of the time, the child will be HYSTERICAL on the phone, begging, crying, screaming that they miss their parents, feel like they will die at camp and saying things like, "if you loved me, you would save me" and then, once parents put their foot down, 5 minutes after hanging up the phone, will be totally fine, laughing and having fun. Once they realize they are stuck there, they make the best of the situation.

I tell parents the two options. I assure them that while it is difficult to hear their child so upset, it is the best option. I also let them know that I will continue to call them with updates and if the child doesn't improve, I will let them know.

Step five- after the nap or short activity the camper has made it through in step 2 hasn't worked at distracting them, I usually make a new goal. The goal today was that they had to go to their activities and not cry until noon. At noon, we would meet again and if they needed to, they could call their parents at that time.

Step six- if being active and engaged in activities still hasn't snapped them out of it, it's time to actually call home.

All 4 parents I spoke with today were receptive. They thanked me for my call and appreciated being informed and said that if I called back, they would be prepared to be firm. When I called later, they talked to their HYSTERICAL children following my advice, even though I'm sure it was difficult.

Step seven- success (usually). All four kids, 5 minutes after they sobbed, begged and told their parents they were never going to make it, went off to their activities, bouncing and laughing and as happy as any camper you've ever seen. I actually considered video taping them and emailing their parents so they could see the miraculous recovery. It almost always happens like that and yet, I am always slightly amazed.

Step eight- follow up. I always tell parents that if, after talking on the phone, their child doesn't improve, I will call back and we can figure out the next step, but otherwise, I will call in the morning to let them know everything is fine. No news is always good news.

If they can make it through one bad day of homesickness, they will be fine the rest of the week. They are only at camp until Friday, and it's already almost Tuesday, so hopefully we won't have any more issues with those four, and hopefully the epidemic will stop spreading!