Left Alone

Sometimes when Baby X cries, and my hands are full or I'm in another room, it takes me a minute or two before I am able to pick him up and soothe him. I always feel like a terrible mother and think, "please don't let him be scarred because he was abandoned for a full minute."

'A' went home to the city after camp today and happened to be at the office shortly after the camp bus arrived to drop the campers off after camp. She checked in with the counselors who had ridden home and they were sitting with one of the CITs (which is one of our teen campers) who hadn't been picked up. 'A' ended up letting the counselors go and waited with him.

They called several people, multiple times and couldn't get in touch with anyone. Apparently no one was going to come pick up this kid. Eventually they talked to the step mom who said to call the uncle. The uncle said he didn't know where the office was (when 'A' offered directions he said no) and that he wouldn't come and get him. 'A' couldn't reach the nuns who sponsored him to come to camp. And so the sat in the empty parking lot.

She called me several times over the hour that they waited. We discussed options. Our policy says that staff can't transport kids in their personal vehicles. The policy also says that we can't leave kids alone. There is a city bus stop near our office, but the suburb our office is located in is a far distance from where he needed to go to get home and he didn't actually know where that bus went. He told 'A' to just leave him, but of course she didn't. Even though he is 17, he's still a camper.

This is the same kid who was sitting in the empty parking lot with all of his stuff at 10am on Sunday when I arrived. The camp bus doesn't actually leave until 1pm, so he was VERY early. I'd arrived early to do some work before bus check in. I couldn't believe he was already there. Who leaves their kid in an empty parking lot, all alone (the building is locked on Sundays, so he couldn't even get inside to go to the bathroom if he'd needed to)?! When I pulled up and saw him, my heart broke and I thought about how I feel when my baby cries and I don't immediately drop everything to scoop him up. Except this is worse, way worse.

Eventually 'A' drove him to the nun's house where he was able to catch the city bus to go home. And I have to assume that by now, he's home. His parents weren't waiting with open arms, gushing about how much they missed him while he was gone at camp. I doubt there was a special dinner waiting for him. And the whole thing BREAKS MY HEART. This is his life. It's probably not the first time he has had to wait alone, or not gotten picked up, or had to figure out something on his own that his parents should have done for him. I'm sad for him. I'm mad for him. I want to squeeze my baby a little tighter.