Out of the blue, both dogs stood up and started barking. Both of them were staring at the open area next to the refrigerator, in front of the entrance to the hallway. I hadn't heard any noises and I didn't see anything, and I was a little surprised because my dogs aren't exactly watch dogs. When I get up in the morning (despite hitting the snooze button multiple times), I usually have to shake both dogs and even sometimes pick them up while they are still sleeping to get them to wake up. I'm convinced that a burglar could rob the whole house, stepping over them in the process, without either of them stirring. So it was weird that both of them were so alert over nothing.
I believe in ghosts. Not like cartoon Casper or a ghoul in a horror movie, but I think that there are spirits or ghosts (or whatever you want to call them) that exist outside of normal human life. My dad was 100% convinced that this camp is haunted and over the years, claimed several run ins with spirits. I always joked with him that that being in the woods alone for long periods of time was making him crazy, but I never doubted his experiences.
Since my dad died, I've assumed that he would visit me eventually. I have waited to feel his presence or for some kind of sign, but so far, I haven't experienced the spirit of my dad.
When the dogs started barking out of the blue, staring at the empty space he always used to stand- I can't say for sure that I felt him there in that moment, but that's what came to my mind right way. I said, "hey dad" and asked the dogs if they were barking because they saw their Grandpi. When I walked down the hall a little while later, I was hit with the strongest smell of my dad's soap. I always loved the way the hall smelled after he took a shower and the smell was unmistakable. I hadn't been in the bathroom yet, it was a different than my shampoo or soap, and the smell definitely hadn't been there before. It was so familiar. The smell was the same as it had been every day of the summer for the 5 years we've been here. It was a real smell, and yet, it wasn't supposed to be there, so I wasn't sure if it was just a memory or if it was something more.
As I go ready for the day, I talked to my dad. It felt like he was there listening.
"Hey Dad. How's it going? Everything is going well here. I think we're almost ready for camp. T (the new Property Manager, who my dad was friends with) is doing well. It's not the same of course, and I miss you a ton, but he's doing a great job. The hot water tank in the health center broke and the dining hall deck is all messed up again. So yeah, same as always. I'm glad you don't have to deal with all of that, although I know you are watching."
My dad was the best, most enthusiastic story teller. Every summer, when he returned from Alaska, he would talk for hours to anyone who he could corner. He would describe how beautiful and majestic the land and everything he saw was. He described the characters he met and the daily adventures he had. Alaska was the perfect place and brought him so much joy. Vivid memories of my dad describing Alaska came to my mind and I could imagine him describing heaven in a similar way, although I assume there are less mosquitoes and milder weather.
"Hey Dad, did you see us at work weekend? It was fine- ridiculous as always- I wish you'd been there to roll your eyes and laugh and get annoyed along with me. Oh, hey, I still need a cook- can you please send someone? Also, do you have any influence with the rain? It's fine right now, but let's cut back once the kids get here, okay?"
I talked to my dad all day yesterday. I don't think I was going crazy and he wasn't talking back to me. But for the first time since he died, I felt like he could hear me. It made being at camp so much easier. Which makes sense, because this job has always been easier with him being here.
"Hey Dad, I'm glad you're here- I hope you hang around this summer, but don't mess with my staff- seriously, you used to scare them with the ghost stories, please don't scare them as an ACTUAL ghost. But stay. Please stay for a while."
The absolute best thing about camp was seeing my dad standing off to the side or in the back of the crowd laughing. The staff always made him laugh and while he never participated, he was always there. He'd paddle out in a canoe while we practiced tipping in the middle of the lake. During the talent show, he'd sit on his four wheeler, just off to the side of the stage and watch. And he'd laugh silently, his whole body shaking. Later, after I finished the nighttime routine with the kids and finally made it back to the house after a long day, he'd be there. He'd comment on the things he'd been laughing about earlier and we'd laugh together. I shared camp with him in a different way than with anyone else. He was there from the beginning, actively working to improve the physical camp while quietly observing as I worked with staff and kids.
The challenges were easier when divided between us and the successes were so much better when multiplied by two. I know that I can run camp on my own this summer, but it will be a different experience now that I'm the crazy one talking about the camp ghosts.
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