To Be 12 Again...

Scene- the weekly dance.

The awkward girl and the awkward boy who kept looking at each other at different times, and dancing near each other, but not with each other. She tied and re-tied her shoe about a million times, and then she finally got the nerve to ask him to dance, and his response, "um, like, I don't really want to dance right now, but maybe later." I watched the whole thing while grimacing, knowing it wasn't going to be a happy ending. Upon rejection, she crossed the dance floor and sat on the opposite side of the dining hall looking mortified. I went and sat with her for a few minutes, and was surprised by how excited she was at his response. "He said, 'maybe later'!" That was good enough for her. At 12 years old, I guess you're not looking for much.

Later, several of the Leaders-in-Training, who are 15 and 16 went over to her and asked her if she wanted to dance with them. It took some convincing, but she eventually joined them. So there she was, in a circle with all of the old, cool girls, dancing away. I wanted to hug all of them and thank them for including her, for making something in her 12 year old life easy. And then I wanted to pull 12 year old awkward girl aside and tell her to be confident, not to base her self esteem on what boys think of her, to learn to love herself and not to waste a bunch of time on boy drama because it's just not worth it. I wanted to tell her how happy she can be if she spends more time on herself and less time worrying about what boys think. I don't know think any of that would have made sense to her. I think you can talk to kids until you are blue in the face, but they have to learn things on their own. I wish I could spare them; I wish I could make it easy for them. But I know that these experiences are what will shape their lives. And sometimes my job is just to stand on the sidelines and watch because there's nothing else I can do.