I dropped the last of my international staff at the airport this morning. I'm FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited to no longer be responsible for anyone but myself. It is a wonderful feeling and I feel lighter than I have in weeks.
Don't get me wrong, my staff are great people and I will miss them. Each brought unique qualities and strengths to camp this summer. And all of them made me laugh, helped make my life easier and made campers happy this summer. The international staff I had at my house this week were wonderful, easy guests. They were easy going and gracious and didn't need much from me. We went to the fair, we went shopping for them to buy gifts, we went out to eat, and yesterday, O and I went to see my newborn puppy at the breeder's house and then to Ikea, where he helped me pick out a shelf for my kitchen (and helped me carry it). It was a good week. But I never felt like I could completely relax. I am still not completely done. I still have to return to camp to clean and organize and get ready for winter. I am not excited about that, but I am one step closer to being done!!
Friday, August 29, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Not Quite Over
On Sunday, my remaining staff and I cleaned like our hair was on fire. We got so much done it was unreal. It was hard work and I know they were tired and looking forward to being done with camp, so I appreciated it. The amount of work we did would have taken me days, maybe weeks to do myself. There are still a few places to clean and organize, and my dad has a lot of winterizing to do, but camp is in good shape!
As of yesterday, there were just 6 of us left. We packed up our stuff and loaded into the van to return to my house for the week. Each of the international staff needs to be to the airport on a different day, and since I live just 10 minutes away, it doesn't make sense to shuttle from camp. The ride home was long. We stopped at Target, dropped one of the local staff off in the suburbs, and then headed to the mall. The international staff want to spend all of their remaining money before they go home because they don't want to change it and lose value. J's plane left last night at 7 so the mall was another important stop for us.
After dropping J off, K, C, O and I finally made it to my house. It is nice to be at home, but I'm not able to relax yet. I still have people that I'm responsible for feeding, entertaining and making sure they are cared for. No, they aren't children, but they are guests and therefore needy. Last night, after a long, exhausting day, I was cooking dinner thinking, this must be what being a parent is like. You literally go from meal to meal, and in between, deal with other needs, and in the down time, they complain or tell you how to do things better. There is no time for yourself, and no time to relax. And my "kids" are independent college students, whoa re actually very nice, helpful and grateful for everything. I can't imagine what it would be like with actual children. So yesterday I decided I will not be reproducing, but that's another blog in itself. The point is, I'm not done yet, but I really want to be! I can't wait to not be responsible for anyone anymore. I just want to sit on the couch with my feet up, or go where I want, do what I want and not have to think, "is everyone cared for? Am I needed somewhere? What time will I need to be back so that I have time to take care of...?"
Today, I was planning to take everyone to the fair, but my good friend is moving to another state on Thursday, and I want to see her before she leaves, so I think my new plan is to drop everyone off at the fair. I'm feeling sort of guilty, because I should be there to guide them and explain, "this is the poultry barn, this is a deep fried candy bar on a stick, etc." but I am confident they will navigate the adventure on their own without needing me. After this week, I will go back to camp for a week of cleaning, organizing, etc. And then, I will have a full week of no responsibility. I will be able to go where I want and do what I want and see my family and friends, and sit on the couch and watch tv all day if I so choose. It will be glorious! But until then, I have 2 full weeks left of being completely selfless and focused.
As of yesterday, there were just 6 of us left. We packed up our stuff and loaded into the van to return to my house for the week. Each of the international staff needs to be to the airport on a different day, and since I live just 10 minutes away, it doesn't make sense to shuttle from camp. The ride home was long. We stopped at Target, dropped one of the local staff off in the suburbs, and then headed to the mall. The international staff want to spend all of their remaining money before they go home because they don't want to change it and lose value. J's plane left last night at 7 so the mall was another important stop for us.
After dropping J off, K, C, O and I finally made it to my house. It is nice to be at home, but I'm not able to relax yet. I still have people that I'm responsible for feeding, entertaining and making sure they are cared for. No, they aren't children, but they are guests and therefore needy. Last night, after a long, exhausting day, I was cooking dinner thinking, this must be what being a parent is like. You literally go from meal to meal, and in between, deal with other needs, and in the down time, they complain or tell you how to do things better. There is no time for yourself, and no time to relax. And my "kids" are independent college students, whoa re actually very nice, helpful and grateful for everything. I can't imagine what it would be like with actual children. So yesterday I decided I will not be reproducing, but that's another blog in itself. The point is, I'm not done yet, but I really want to be! I can't wait to not be responsible for anyone anymore. I just want to sit on the couch with my feet up, or go where I want, do what I want and not have to think, "is everyone cared for? Am I needed somewhere? What time will I need to be back so that I have time to take care of...?"
Today, I was planning to take everyone to the fair, but my good friend is moving to another state on Thursday, and I want to see her before she leaves, so I think my new plan is to drop everyone off at the fair. I'm feeling sort of guilty, because I should be there to guide them and explain, "this is the poultry barn, this is a deep fried candy bar on a stick, etc." but I am confident they will navigate the adventure on their own without needing me. After this week, I will go back to camp for a week of cleaning, organizing, etc. And then, I will have a full week of no responsibility. I will be able to go where I want and do what I want and see my family and friends, and sit on the couch and watch tv all day if I so choose. It will be glorious! But until then, I have 2 full weeks left of being completely selfless and focused.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
IT'S OVER!!!!!!!
CAMP IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!! Woooo Hooooo!!
I'll be sad in 2 weeks. Once I have had time to relax, I will miss the kids, the staff, the adventures, and being at camp. But right now, I'm ready to be done! I miss home, I want to see my family and friends. I am sick of being in charge of everything and I am TIRED!
Yesterday was the last day of camp. It was just like any other Saturday at camp, parents came, we sang, they took their kids home. It was a really good day, everything went smoothly. After kids left, we debriefed like usual, talking about highs and lows of the week. Usually after that, we clean, but yesterday, I asked for help with three projects that required a lot of people, because right after camp was when I had the most people. So we took out docks, moved all of the tables and chairs in the dining hall and then moved the big heavy Adirondack chairs from the beach. I don't know how much work I am actually going to get out of people, and those projects would have taken me FOREVER to do alone.
After that, we spent the afternoon chillin'. Two staff left on the bus and two left right after the bus, so it was a small crowd. It was nice to just sit around and talk about the summer, cook dinner, laugh, relax, rest a bit.
Today I am planning to do as much cleaning as I can get them to do. The staff that are left are not the best helpers nor the most mature, so I don't know how the day will go. I have never closed down a camp of this size before, and so I didn't really set myself up for success. I should have put something in their contracts about a requirement to help clean or whatever, but there's nothing. I think some of them think I am hosting a party, and they will be corrected today. But it will be a frustrating process. One more thing I can thank my old Boss for leaving me to deal with.
I am so eager to get all of this done and go home. Hopefully, that will give me the energy to clean, organize and pack today...
I'll be sad in 2 weeks. Once I have had time to relax, I will miss the kids, the staff, the adventures, and being at camp. But right now, I'm ready to be done! I miss home, I want to see my family and friends. I am sick of being in charge of everything and I am TIRED!
Yesterday was the last day of camp. It was just like any other Saturday at camp, parents came, we sang, they took their kids home. It was a really good day, everything went smoothly. After kids left, we debriefed like usual, talking about highs and lows of the week. Usually after that, we clean, but yesterday, I asked for help with three projects that required a lot of people, because right after camp was when I had the most people. So we took out docks, moved all of the tables and chairs in the dining hall and then moved the big heavy Adirondack chairs from the beach. I don't know how much work I am actually going to get out of people, and those projects would have taken me FOREVER to do alone.
After that, we spent the afternoon chillin'. Two staff left on the bus and two left right after the bus, so it was a small crowd. It was nice to just sit around and talk about the summer, cook dinner, laugh, relax, rest a bit.
Today I am planning to do as much cleaning as I can get them to do. The staff that are left are not the best helpers nor the most mature, so I don't know how the day will go. I have never closed down a camp of this size before, and so I didn't really set myself up for success. I should have put something in their contracts about a requirement to help clean or whatever, but there's nothing. I think some of them think I am hosting a party, and they will be corrected today. But it will be a frustrating process. One more thing I can thank my old Boss for leaving me to deal with.
I am so eager to get all of this done and go home. Hopefully, that will give me the energy to clean, organize and pack today...
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Letter to My Staff
Dear 2008 Staff,
As our adventure comes to a close, I wanted to take a moment to share a few thoughts with you. It feels like just a moment ago, you were arriving to camp (many of you during one of the many May/June power outages), and singing our way through training (does everyone remember where your duck is?). The summer has been filled with laughter, fun, friendship, prayer, crazy campers, sunshine, singing, games and weekend adventures. There were some tough moments, some moments that seemed to drag on, but OHMYGOSH, it flew by and I am sad to see the end!
I want to thank you for your hard work this summer, but I don’t know if there are words that can truly do my feelings justice. A simple, “thank you, you worked really hard” doesn’t even skim the surface. Working at camp isn’t a normal job (I think you’ve all figured that out at this point). It is an intense, emotionally demanding, nonstop, exhausting, life experience. I have not only asked you to follow directions and do assigned tasks, but also to give your energy, be creative, build relationships, care, pray, love, be patient, be flexible, have a sense of humor… and to do this with little rest, few breaks, and after cold showers. I know it has not always been easy. And yet, I have rarely heard complaints, and everyone, all the time, didn’t just do what was asked, but managed to blow me away with your kindness, your willingness to help and your beautiful spirit.
I firmly believe that when we talk about changing lives through camp, it is not because of the activities or the fancy facilities, but because of the feeling kids experience when they are surrounded by positive people, who have a focus on fun, kindness, care, and encouragement. To feel truly cared about, and that you matter, and that there are people who want to help you seems to be the standard with all of you, but is unique to the rest of the world. To be surrounded by that kind of energy bathes your soul in a golden light that changes anyone who has the opportunity to experience it. I know that the campers who came here this summer left with that feeling, but they weren’t the only ones whose lives you so deeply affected.
This summer was challenging for me in so many ways. This was my first year at overnight camp, and I ended up doing the job of 2 people, when in reality, I even sure if I was ready for the job I’d been hired for. I came into this experience expecting to be led, expecting to learn, and finding out that I was going to be on my own was frightening and overwhelming. I know that all of you came in with expectations as well, and because of the situation, were asked to help out in roles you didn’t expect to play. Each day, sometimes multiple times I day, I was impressed/thankful/relieved/overwhelmed near tears with gratitude towards one, some or all of you for something wonderful that you did. I know many of you gave up breaks, worked on your night off, and took on responsibilities that were not originally intended for you. Please know that I felt and appreciated each sacrifice you made. If anyone ever asks you, “have you ever changed someone’s life?” you can tell them “yes.” because without all of you, I wouldn’t have made it through this summer.
How do I put such gratitude into words? Are there words to express my appreciation? You didn’t just work this summer, you shared yourself; you released your spirit and let it grace those around you. You were a living rainbow, spreading beauty and happiness with each idea you had and each time you opened up your heart to lead a song, skit, prayer, cheer or activity. Thank you for that. Thank you for being here at CAMP. Thank you for touching my life, thank you for touching the lives of the campers you were entrusted. I appreciate it, the parents of the campers appreciate it and the campers themselves appreciate it. None of us can adequately put into words what you gave us, but know that your presence here mattered.
Please know that you are always welcome back at CAMP (as staff or just as a visitor passing through). Likewise, you are always welcome in my life, so if you are in BIG CITY and need someone to take you out to lunch, or need someone to call on the phone, know that I will always be there for you. You will be in my thoughts and in my heart and I wish nothing but the best for all of you in the coming year and beyond.
Thank you.
As our adventure comes to a close, I wanted to take a moment to share a few thoughts with you. It feels like just a moment ago, you were arriving to camp (many of you during one of the many May/June power outages), and singing our way through training (does everyone remember where your duck is?). The summer has been filled with laughter, fun, friendship, prayer, crazy campers, sunshine, singing, games and weekend adventures. There were some tough moments, some moments that seemed to drag on, but OHMYGOSH, it flew by and I am sad to see the end!
I want to thank you for your hard work this summer, but I don’t know if there are words that can truly do my feelings justice. A simple, “thank you, you worked really hard” doesn’t even skim the surface. Working at camp isn’t a normal job (I think you’ve all figured that out at this point). It is an intense, emotionally demanding, nonstop, exhausting, life experience. I have not only asked you to follow directions and do assigned tasks, but also to give your energy, be creative, build relationships, care, pray, love, be patient, be flexible, have a sense of humor… and to do this with little rest, few breaks, and after cold showers. I know it has not always been easy. And yet, I have rarely heard complaints, and everyone, all the time, didn’t just do what was asked, but managed to blow me away with your kindness, your willingness to help and your beautiful spirit.
I firmly believe that when we talk about changing lives through camp, it is not because of the activities or the fancy facilities, but because of the feeling kids experience when they are surrounded by positive people, who have a focus on fun, kindness, care, and encouragement. To feel truly cared about, and that you matter, and that there are people who want to help you seems to be the standard with all of you, but is unique to the rest of the world. To be surrounded by that kind of energy bathes your soul in a golden light that changes anyone who has the opportunity to experience it. I know that the campers who came here this summer left with that feeling, but they weren’t the only ones whose lives you so deeply affected.
This summer was challenging for me in so many ways. This was my first year at overnight camp, and I ended up doing the job of 2 people, when in reality, I even sure if I was ready for the job I’d been hired for. I came into this experience expecting to be led, expecting to learn, and finding out that I was going to be on my own was frightening and overwhelming. I know that all of you came in with expectations as well, and because of the situation, were asked to help out in roles you didn’t expect to play. Each day, sometimes multiple times I day, I was impressed/thankful/relieved/overwhelmed near tears with gratitude towards one, some or all of you for something wonderful that you did. I know many of you gave up breaks, worked on your night off, and took on responsibilities that were not originally intended for you. Please know that I felt and appreciated each sacrifice you made. If anyone ever asks you, “have you ever changed someone’s life?” you can tell them “yes.” because without all of you, I wouldn’t have made it through this summer.
How do I put such gratitude into words? Are there words to express my appreciation? You didn’t just work this summer, you shared yourself; you released your spirit and let it grace those around you. You were a living rainbow, spreading beauty and happiness with each idea you had and each time you opened up your heart to lead a song, skit, prayer, cheer or activity. Thank you for that. Thank you for being here at CAMP. Thank you for touching my life, thank you for touching the lives of the campers you were entrusted. I appreciate it, the parents of the campers appreciate it and the campers themselves appreciate it. None of us can adequately put into words what you gave us, but know that your presence here mattered.
Please know that you are always welcome back at CAMP (as staff or just as a visitor passing through). Likewise, you are always welcome in my life, so if you are in BIG CITY and need someone to take you out to lunch, or need someone to call on the phone, know that I will always be there for you. You will be in my thoughts and in my heart and I wish nothing but the best for all of you in the coming year and beyond.
Thank you.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Exhausted
At the Monday morning staff meeting, I told the staff, "please, whatever you do this week, just try to enjoy yourselves. In September or October, once you've had a chance to sleep in a few times, eat something other than camp food, your feet have finally come clean, and you've been away from camp for a while, you will miss it. You will miss it terribly. You will sing songs no one else appreciates, you will think about the campers and the counselors and the lake. You will ache for this place, even though, right now, all you can think about is being done."
Every summer, at the end of camp, by the time we get to this last week, I am vowing to get a new career and swearing I will never come back. I did it as a counselor, as an Art Specialist, as the Assistant Director and as the Director. And as soon as the last kid walks out the door and everything is clean and organized for the off season, all I can think about it camp. It takes about a week of being away from camp for me to start missing it, and then getting excited for next summer. The excitement builds all fall, winter and spring until the next summer comes and I practically BURSTING with passion for camp.
I know all of this. But I am still having a REALLY difficult time taking my own advice this time around. I DESPERATELY want to go home. I have been making list after list of things I want to do when I get home. "Sit on the couch and order take out food and watch tivo" is at the top. I know that's a lame thing to be so excited about, but I have been responsible for kids, counselors and buildings all summer long and the weight on my shoulders that started out heavy but manageable because it was just so exciting that I was able to carry it, is now crushingly exhausting and I just need a break. I miss my friends and family and roommates, I miss running to Target, quiet nights reading a book in bed, working out, cooking... the list goes on and on.
And so today, instead of soaking in these last few days of fun, sun, laughter, silly kids, my staff that I love and everything that makes camp run through my veins, I have spent several hours staring off into space. I keep meaning to go have fun, or even be productive and pack my office. But I am paralyzed. I am crabby, tired, and want to burst into tears. I tried going in to my room to take a nap, but that felt claustrophobic, so now I'm back to staring off into space.
In about 2 weeks, I am going to be mad at myself for not enjoying these last few days. But right now, it just feels like the minutes are ticking by in slow motion and all I can think about is home.
Every summer, at the end of camp, by the time we get to this last week, I am vowing to get a new career and swearing I will never come back. I did it as a counselor, as an Art Specialist, as the Assistant Director and as the Director. And as soon as the last kid walks out the door and everything is clean and organized for the off season, all I can think about it camp. It takes about a week of being away from camp for me to start missing it, and then getting excited for next summer. The excitement builds all fall, winter and spring until the next summer comes and I practically BURSTING with passion for camp.
I know all of this. But I am still having a REALLY difficult time taking my own advice this time around. I DESPERATELY want to go home. I have been making list after list of things I want to do when I get home. "Sit on the couch and order take out food and watch tivo" is at the top. I know that's a lame thing to be so excited about, but I have been responsible for kids, counselors and buildings all summer long and the weight on my shoulders that started out heavy but manageable because it was just so exciting that I was able to carry it, is now crushingly exhausting and I just need a break. I miss my friends and family and roommates, I miss running to Target, quiet nights reading a book in bed, working out, cooking... the list goes on and on.
And so today, instead of soaking in these last few days of fun, sun, laughter, silly kids, my staff that I love and everything that makes camp run through my veins, I have spent several hours staring off into space. I keep meaning to go have fun, or even be productive and pack my office. But I am paralyzed. I am crabby, tired, and want to burst into tears. I tried going in to my room to take a nap, but that felt claustrophobic, so now I'm back to staring off into space.
In about 2 weeks, I am going to be mad at myself for not enjoying these last few days. But right now, it just feels like the minutes are ticking by in slow motion and all I can think about is home.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Crabby
I think the main reason why this job is difficult is because I am too sensitive to be in a leadership role. I take things too personally and am too eager to please every person I come in contact with. As summer ends and I look ahead, I am not sure if I will soon be getting a new boss or if I will be the new person in charge, and while I am sometimes eager to take over and rule this place, today I am thinking I might not be ready. Maybe I still need a boss to be the buffer between the public and my fragile ego.
Whenever you work with people, no matter how hard you work, how much effort you put in, some people will walk away pleased and some will walk away complaining. I have a difficult time with that, because I have poured my heart and soul into this camp, giving up sleep, personal time, missing my family and friends, and working 15-17 hours per day, almost every day. So when someone complains, I wonder how I could possibly do anything different in order to make them happy.
Whenever you work with people, no matter how hard you work, how much effort you put in, some people will walk away pleased and some will walk away complaining. I have a difficult time with that, because I have poured my heart and soul into this camp, giving up sleep, personal time, missing my family and friends, and working 15-17 hours per day, almost every day. So when someone complains, I wonder how I could possibly do anything different in order to make them happy.
And so today, I am excessively crabby. I have worked hard and sacrificed a lot and I have been met with a steady stream of complaints. I am sick to death of apologizing over and over. People are never happy, and if they are, those people don't make the effort to give feedback. I'm tired and ready to go home.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Out Of It
I'm still sick, although definitely getting better. Yesterday was miserable and I spent a lot the day going through the motions, except that I was wading through a world of jello- I could kind of see, and kind of hear, but it was all fuzzy and I was pretty out of it. It is pirate week and the Assistant Director is SO excited. He has several pirate outfits and lots of ideas for programming. It's been wonderful because I can wallow in misery while he leads the kids through.
Last night he had them building rafts out of wood and logs. Today, they carried them down to the swimming beach and competed in a relay race where two kids paddled out to the buoy and then back to the beach and switched with the next two on their team and so on. I was a little worried about how it would go, but it was really fun and I would even consider doing it again next summer.
It's no fun to be sick, but there is added pressure because we have such a small staff, if one person is out, it is felt by everyone. And not to be too full of myself, but I do a lot around here. I was worried. Thankfully, by this point in the summer, everyone knows what needs to be done, and my staff have done a fabulous job of picking up the slack. They have managed to read my mind, take initiative or take ownership on almost everything this week, so camp hasn't fallen apart even though I took two naps today. Maybe this is what my job would be like if we were fully staffed. I would love to put my feet up and chill on a regular basis. So that's my new goal. I would like to get this camp to the point where everything runs so smoothly that I can relax a lot, and not just when I'm on my death bed, but in full health.
I think we can get there...
Last night he had them building rafts out of wood and logs. Today, they carried them down to the swimming beach and competed in a relay race where two kids paddled out to the buoy and then back to the beach and switched with the next two on their team and so on. I was a little worried about how it would go, but it was really fun and I would even consider doing it again next summer.
It's no fun to be sick, but there is added pressure because we have such a small staff, if one person is out, it is felt by everyone. And not to be too full of myself, but I do a lot around here. I was worried. Thankfully, by this point in the summer, everyone knows what needs to be done, and my staff have done a fabulous job of picking up the slack. They have managed to read my mind, take initiative or take ownership on almost everything this week, so camp hasn't fallen apart even though I took two naps today. Maybe this is what my job would be like if we were fully staffed. I would love to put my feet up and chill on a regular basis. So that's my new goal. I would like to get this camp to the point where everything runs so smoothly that I can relax a lot, and not just when I'm on my death bed, but in full health.
I think we can get there...
Monday, August 18, 2008
Family, Friends and Flu
All summer long, I have emailed people about coming to camp to visit and this week, every single person I know decided to take me up on it. My good friend M was at camp at the beginning of the week, several people connected to the church came out to visit throughout the week, and this weekend my aunt and uncle (whose daughter was at camp this week), my mom, brother, roommate, family friend and her daughter also came out to camp.
I was thrilled to have everyone at camp. I have been talking about it all summer, sending emails, blogging and finally, lots of people who have heard so much, finally got to see it. I have so many people who have been supportive of me and of camp in a variety of ways, and having them here was the best support of all. I think they all have a better understanding of the potential greatness, as well as the shortcomings of camp. And I think they have a better appreciation of what I am doing 24/7. Plus, it was really fun to be able to share it with them.
However, this weekend I was sick. I started sneezing on Friday and by Saturday afternoon, pretty much wanted to lay down and die. I was trying to manage the Saturday afternoon cleaning while welcoming guests, while trying not to sneeze/vomit/collapse. It was not fun. But I managed to spend some quality time with my guests, enjoy the beach for a little while and even take a short kayak trip yesterday morning. I was determined not to let being sick interrupt my weekend and I was so happy to spend time with my family and friends.
Yesterday afternoon, after everyone had left, I collapsed on the couch in my dad's house, put in a movie, made some popcorn and gloriously did NOTHING for several hours. And now, it is the first day of the LAST WEEK. I can't believe it is almost over. I am going to try to soak in every minute I can this week...
I was thrilled to have everyone at camp. I have been talking about it all summer, sending emails, blogging and finally, lots of people who have heard so much, finally got to see it. I have so many people who have been supportive of me and of camp in a variety of ways, and having them here was the best support of all. I think they all have a better understanding of the potential greatness, as well as the shortcomings of camp. And I think they have a better appreciation of what I am doing 24/7. Plus, it was really fun to be able to share it with them.
However, this weekend I was sick. I started sneezing on Friday and by Saturday afternoon, pretty much wanted to lay down and die. I was trying to manage the Saturday afternoon cleaning while welcoming guests, while trying not to sneeze/vomit/collapse. It was not fun. But I managed to spend some quality time with my guests, enjoy the beach for a little while and even take a short kayak trip yesterday morning. I was determined not to let being sick interrupt my weekend and I was so happy to spend time with my family and friends.
Yesterday afternoon, after everyone had left, I collapsed on the couch in my dad's house, put in a movie, made some popcorn and gloriously did NOTHING for several hours. And now, it is the first day of the LAST WEEK. I can't believe it is almost over. I am going to try to soak in every minute I can this week...
Sunday, August 17, 2008
My Favorite Staff
Yesterday S left. I almost cried. I almost tried to lock her in her room and force her to stay. I am very sad she is gone.
S is studying abroad in Italy this semester and I knew she would be leaving a week early. I didn't know that this would be the craziest summer of all time and that she would turn in to my left hand. As I was challenged with unforeseen responsibilities, S was the one who picked up the slack and took on so many of the things I should have spent my summer doing. She was the one who lead activities and helped me create programming. She missed a lot of breaks, a lot of nights off, and worked really hard, never complaining, always smiling. She single handedly got me through this summer without realizing just how much support I found in her positive attitude and sense of humor.
Before she left, we exchanged cards, and she hugged me, telling me I was like the big sister she never had. I wanted to cry. How do you say thank you to someone who has done so much for you and then continues by saying such nice things? Later I read the card she'd given me and finally did cry, because what she wrote was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. She made all of the hard work this summer worth it. It is nice to know what you do matters, and she let me know that I made an impact. And that's just the greatest thing someone can give.
And now she is gone, and I am sick and I don't know how I will make it through this week without her.
S is studying abroad in Italy this semester and I knew she would be leaving a week early. I didn't know that this would be the craziest summer of all time and that she would turn in to my left hand. As I was challenged with unforeseen responsibilities, S was the one who picked up the slack and took on so many of the things I should have spent my summer doing. She was the one who lead activities and helped me create programming. She missed a lot of breaks, a lot of nights off, and worked really hard, never complaining, always smiling. She single handedly got me through this summer without realizing just how much support I found in her positive attitude and sense of humor.
Before she left, we exchanged cards, and she hugged me, telling me I was like the big sister she never had. I wanted to cry. How do you say thank you to someone who has done so much for you and then continues by saying such nice things? Later I read the card she'd given me and finally did cry, because what she wrote was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. She made all of the hard work this summer worth it. It is nice to know what you do matters, and she let me know that I made an impact. And that's just the greatest thing someone can give.
And now she is gone, and I am sick and I don't know how I will make it through this week without her.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
And the Winner is...
Last night I was the most evil person on earth and took down the score sheet from the dining hall. You should have heard the complaints! But the point totals were too close and I wanted to make sure that the announcement of winner was a surprise.
Teams earned some last minute spirit points, we added in polar bear plunge points for Saturday and we had a winner!
On Saturday, we had our normal Family Day Celebration with songs, program awards, and each group got to show off their cheer. And then FINALLY, after all of that, I read off the point totals. There was lots of cheering and excitement, and it was fun to see the kids so into it. The oldest group of boys (13 and 14 year olds) were the winners, and when I announced it, they all jumped up and roared with cheers, embracing in a huge group hug while jumping up and down, shouting their team cheer. 13 and 14 year old boys are too cool for everything, so to see them so excited and in to the theme throughout the week, and then get so overjoyed at winning was wonderful
Earlier in the week, I'd had my dad cut 8 inch round, 1 inch wide wooden circles from a log and S and I had painted all 9 Olympic ring colors for each of our teams, as well as the camp name, and "Spirit Award". The boys were excited to receive them and so were the counselors. It was so funny, because we'd handed awards to all of the kids, and still had one left for K, but I don't think he saw it, because he looked a little sad. And then we handed it to him and his eyes lit up and he said, "OH! Good!"
It was such an exceptional week and the kids and staff were all completely lost in the magic of it. I was so proud to be part of such a wonderful week, and I know that it is a memory that kids and staff will think of fondly for a really long time.
Teams earned some last minute spirit points, we added in polar bear plunge points for Saturday and we had a winner!
On Saturday, we had our normal Family Day Celebration with songs, program awards, and each group got to show off their cheer. And then FINALLY, after all of that, I read off the point totals. There was lots of cheering and excitement, and it was fun to see the kids so into it. The oldest group of boys (13 and 14 year olds) were the winners, and when I announced it, they all jumped up and roared with cheers, embracing in a huge group hug while jumping up and down, shouting their team cheer. 13 and 14 year old boys are too cool for everything, so to see them so excited and in to the theme throughout the week, and then get so overjoyed at winning was wonderful
Earlier in the week, I'd had my dad cut 8 inch round, 1 inch wide wooden circles from a log and S and I had painted all 9 Olympic ring colors for each of our teams, as well as the camp name, and "Spirit Award". The boys were excited to receive them and so were the counselors. It was so funny, because we'd handed awards to all of the kids, and still had one left for K, but I don't think he saw it, because he looked a little sad. And then we handed it to him and his eyes lit up and he said, "OH! Good!"
It was such an exceptional week and the kids and staff were all completely lost in the magic of it. I was so proud to be part of such a wonderful week, and I know that it is a memory that kids and staff will think of fondly for a really long time.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Fun=Hard Work
It's only Wednesday, but already, this has been one of the most fun weeks of camp this summer. The kids and staff are SO into the Olympic theme and their enthusiasm seems to grow each day.
Polar bear plunge this morning at 6:45am brought out the most kids we have had so far, to jump in the lake and start the day off with a brisk swim. I've meant to go to the polar bear plunge every week, but haven't until today. The rule this week is that if over half of your team plunges, you will earn 10 points. My team needed the points, so there I was, exhausted but with full spirit, jumping in the lake.
Last night, we had a 2 hour Olympic competition. We had 15 different events. Some events required the whole team to participate, and some events only needed one or two kids. Each event was a chance for teams to earn points towards the coveted Spirit Award. We had some obvious field games like three legged race, water balloon toss, egg on the spoon race, tug of war (little girls are stronger than they look, by the way!), a relay race, etc. We also had some REALLY fun events like the pie throwing contest, made even more fun because, "Geez, you know what? I forgot to make targets! Can I have all of the counselors come out here and stand in a line. If you can hit any of these counselors, you get points!". We also had an event that had each group passing a bucket full of noodles from person to person to see who could be the fastest team. Oh and I should mention that the noodles were dumped out of the bucket into their hands and they were covered in dish soap to make them slippery.
Throughout the whole event, Director Bonus Points were awarded for extra cheering, good sportsmanship, and spirit. It was an EXCEPTIONAL night. I think that kids and counselors, and I know myself, will remember the feeling of that night for a long time. And I firmly believe that when we talk about changing lives through camp, it is not because of activities or fancy facilities, but it is specifically due to the feeling. To be surrounded by such positive people, such strong energy, and such a focus on fun, happiness and encouragement, bathes your soul in a golden light that changes you. I believe these moments, that happen so often at camp, and so infrequently everywhere is, are the reason that camp is the best experience a person can have.
And that's the reason I do this job. Because last night was a LOT of work. To show up to a field full of games, an organized point system, and enjoy a night of fun required hours of preparation behind the scenes. And then last night, we had a list of 50 things (rope, eggs, spoons, bandannas, cups, noodles, hula hoops, cones, etc...) that we gathered and set up in about 30 minutes. It was me, S, ad my friend M who was visiting. It was intense and there were several times we looked at each other and shook our heads and said, "ohmygosh, I am so tired." Afterwards, there was a field full of noodles to clean up, dishes to wash and stuff to put away.
It was 100% worth it. Going above and beyond to plan, to make things special, to give kids a unique experience is what camp is all about. I am honored to be able to give that gift to them. And if it looks like it came together with little effort, that means I'm doing a good job. But OHMYGOSH, I am so tired I feel like I might collapse... in a good way... but still, collapse.
Polar bear plunge this morning at 6:45am brought out the most kids we have had so far, to jump in the lake and start the day off with a brisk swim. I've meant to go to the polar bear plunge every week, but haven't until today. The rule this week is that if over half of your team plunges, you will earn 10 points. My team needed the points, so there I was, exhausted but with full spirit, jumping in the lake.
Last night, we had a 2 hour Olympic competition. We had 15 different events. Some events required the whole team to participate, and some events only needed one or two kids. Each event was a chance for teams to earn points towards the coveted Spirit Award. We had some obvious field games like three legged race, water balloon toss, egg on the spoon race, tug of war (little girls are stronger than they look, by the way!), a relay race, etc. We also had some REALLY fun events like the pie throwing contest, made even more fun because, "Geez, you know what? I forgot to make targets! Can I have all of the counselors come out here and stand in a line. If you can hit any of these counselors, you get points!". We also had an event that had each group passing a bucket full of noodles from person to person to see who could be the fastest team. Oh and I should mention that the noodles were dumped out of the bucket into their hands and they were covered in dish soap to make them slippery.
Throughout the whole event, Director Bonus Points were awarded for extra cheering, good sportsmanship, and spirit. It was an EXCEPTIONAL night. I think that kids and counselors, and I know myself, will remember the feeling of that night for a long time. And I firmly believe that when we talk about changing lives through camp, it is not because of activities or fancy facilities, but it is specifically due to the feeling. To be surrounded by such positive people, such strong energy, and such a focus on fun, happiness and encouragement, bathes your soul in a golden light that changes you. I believe these moments, that happen so often at camp, and so infrequently everywhere is, are the reason that camp is the best experience a person can have.
And that's the reason I do this job. Because last night was a LOT of work. To show up to a field full of games, an organized point system, and enjoy a night of fun required hours of preparation behind the scenes. And then last night, we had a list of 50 things (rope, eggs, spoons, bandannas, cups, noodles, hula hoops, cones, etc...) that we gathered and set up in about 30 minutes. It was me, S, ad my friend M who was visiting. It was intense and there were several times we looked at each other and shook our heads and said, "ohmygosh, I am so tired." Afterwards, there was a field full of noodles to clean up, dishes to wash and stuff to put away.
It was 100% worth it. Going above and beyond to plan, to make things special, to give kids a unique experience is what camp is all about. I am honored to be able to give that gift to them. And if it looks like it came together with little effort, that means I'm doing a good job. But OHMYGOSH, I am so tired I feel like I might collapse... in a good way... but still, collapse.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Re-Energized
It is Olympic Week at camp this week and we're having such a blast. The past two weeks, the staff and I have been trying really hard, but our exhaustion is apparent to me. I think all of our campers had a good time, and probably didn't notice, but compared to some of the first weeks, we definitely weren't as energetic. With just two weeks left, I have worried that they would be rough, and this week we have the second biggest group of campers of the summer, so I've been feeling anxious about this week.
On Sunday, I assigned each group a team color. Last night, they were each given big pieces of white fabric and asked to paint a flag, and also to come up with a team name and a team cheer. They were also given long white strips of fabric to make into headbands or arm bands with their team color on them.
Once the flags were painted, we lined all of the groups up, each kid carrying part of the flag, and processed from the dining hall, down the hill, around the field, in a circle, each group chanting and cheering, while the Olympic theme song BLARED from the speakers we'd set up. I explained the rules of the week, and the way they could earn points towards willing the prestigious Olympic spirit award, and then SHOUTED, "LET THE GAMES BEGIN!" The kids and counselors cheered and jumped around and then we went to the fire circle where each group presented their cheer.
I was SO excited to watch the kids so full of enthusiasm. You could literally feel the energy and it was powerful enough to make my heart beat harder and freeze a smile on my face. The cheers were creative and fun and everyone, kids and counselors, were completely lost in the moment. I was so happy to see counselors focused on kids and throwing themselves into camp.
Today, everywhere I go, I can hear kids SHOUTING their cheers. Everywhere they walk they sing and all of the kids are dressed in their team colors. The entire camp has an energized buzz to it. Kids are proud to be part of their teams, and they are completely lost in the magic of camp.
I am so proud of my staff for their ability to create such excitement. I know that when camp ends, I will ache to have just one more moment of pure, incomparable joy like so many days I have experienced this summer. For now, I am soaking it in and enjoying every second.
On Sunday, I assigned each group a team color. Last night, they were each given big pieces of white fabric and asked to paint a flag, and also to come up with a team name and a team cheer. They were also given long white strips of fabric to make into headbands or arm bands with their team color on them.
Once the flags were painted, we lined all of the groups up, each kid carrying part of the flag, and processed from the dining hall, down the hill, around the field, in a circle, each group chanting and cheering, while the Olympic theme song BLARED from the speakers we'd set up. I explained the rules of the week, and the way they could earn points towards willing the prestigious Olympic spirit award, and then SHOUTED, "LET THE GAMES BEGIN!" The kids and counselors cheered and jumped around and then we went to the fire circle where each group presented their cheer.
I was SO excited to watch the kids so full of enthusiasm. You could literally feel the energy and it was powerful enough to make my heart beat harder and freeze a smile on my face. The cheers were creative and fun and everyone, kids and counselors, were completely lost in the moment. I was so happy to see counselors focused on kids and throwing themselves into camp.
Today, everywhere I go, I can hear kids SHOUTING their cheers. Everywhere they walk they sing and all of the kids are dressed in their team colors. The entire camp has an energized buzz to it. Kids are proud to be part of their teams, and they are completely lost in the magic of camp.
I am so proud of my staff for their ability to create such excitement. I know that when camp ends, I will ache to have just one more moment of pure, incomparable joy like so many days I have experienced this summer. For now, I am soaking it in and enjoying every second.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Cutest Camper Ever...
I know I'm not supposed to make judgements about kids I work with, because it's hard to treat kids equal and fairly if you have personal feelings toward them, but it happens. There is often the annoying camper or the sweet camper. I try REALLY hard not to be biased, and have gotten much better as I've gotten older, but yesterday, I met the CUTEST camper of all time.
Each week, we have a camp nurse that volunteers in exchange for a free week of camp. They usually come up on Sunday and bring their campers with them. Last night the camp nurse arrived with a TINY child. He's 7 but looks 4. But when he speaks he is very clear and sounds more like 7 year old.
As I took them on a tour and showed them around, he was SO excited. He had wide eyes and kept exclaiming, "this is so exciting!" and then he would throw his little fist in the air and say, "I'm the first camper of the week! This is so great!"
As we wind down and summer is coming to a close, it is difficult to maintain the energy I had in the beginning, but last night, listening to his excitement, I was re-energized and couldn't help be excited too. I think this is going to be a really great week and I'm bursting with eagerness for the campers to get here.
Each week, we have a camp nurse that volunteers in exchange for a free week of camp. They usually come up on Sunday and bring their campers with them. Last night the camp nurse arrived with a TINY child. He's 7 but looks 4. But when he speaks he is very clear and sounds more like 7 year old.
As I took them on a tour and showed them around, he was SO excited. He had wide eyes and kept exclaiming, "this is so exciting!" and then he would throw his little fist in the air and say, "I'm the first camper of the week! This is so great!"
As we wind down and summer is coming to a close, it is difficult to maintain the energy I had in the beginning, but last night, listening to his excitement, I was re-energized and couldn't help be excited too. I think this is going to be a really great week and I'm bursting with eagerness for the campers to get here.
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Day of Rest
Being a Camp Director is great... exhausting... but great. Here's the thing I don't think any of the staff seem to understand. While they are with kids constantly, sleeping in the same cabin and in activities all day, they also get breaks. They get an hour in the morning, an hour in the afternoon and one night per week off. They are also free from Saturday afternoon until Monday morning at 9am. They can do ANYTHING they want during these times. They can nap, leave camp, watch tv in the staff lounge... anything. I try VERY hard not to disturb their break times and rarely do. While I am not with kids 24 hours per day, I do not get breaks... ever. Not during the day, in the evenings, or on the weekend. Even in the middle of the night when I'm in bed sleeping, I am fair game to wake up when they have a homesick camper, the water heater breaks, the weather is bad...
Today, campers left at 12, we were done cleaning at 2pm. I have been busy ever since. Day of rest my ass. The hot water went out yesterday, which I learned at 11pm when two staff came into my room and woke me up 10 minutes after I'd gone to sleep. Then the ovens in the kitchen (same building that lost hot water) stopped working, and then the kitchen filled with a strong odor of gas... I was pretty sure the building was going to explode. Luckily, it was just that we ran out of propane, and so I was given the opportunity to learn how a LOT of important machinery and stuff at camp works. It took SEVERAL hours, but I am now well versed in pilot lights, propane tanks, and water heaters.
We also have LITs here this weekend, which is great for them, but means that I have been counselor/mediator/mentor/whatever else all day. There has been drama and crying all of the typical "I'm 15 and emotional" stuff, and I'm in the middle of all of it, working hard to resolve issues and make sure everyone is happy and cared for.
This is the most intense job I have ever had and I am blown away by the level of responsibility and enormous expectations placed on me. It is an honor to be here and have ownership over all of this, but it is overwhelming sometimes too.
Today, campers left at 12, we were done cleaning at 2pm. I have been busy ever since. Day of rest my ass. The hot water went out yesterday, which I learned at 11pm when two staff came into my room and woke me up 10 minutes after I'd gone to sleep. Then the ovens in the kitchen (same building that lost hot water) stopped working, and then the kitchen filled with a strong odor of gas... I was pretty sure the building was going to explode. Luckily, it was just that we ran out of propane, and so I was given the opportunity to learn how a LOT of important machinery and stuff at camp works. It took SEVERAL hours, but I am now well versed in pilot lights, propane tanks, and water heaters.
We also have LITs here this weekend, which is great for them, but means that I have been counselor/mediator/mentor/whatever else all day. There has been drama and crying all of the typical "I'm 15 and emotional" stuff, and I'm in the middle of all of it, working hard to resolve issues and make sure everyone is happy and cared for.
This is the most intense job I have ever had and I am blown away by the level of responsibility and enormous expectations placed on me. It is an honor to be here and have ownership over all of this, but it is overwhelming sometimes too.
Friday, August 8, 2008
8:08 on 8/8/08
Random brilliance: S and I had just finished setting up for the closing ceremony and were chatting as we waited for kids to finish evening prayer. The talent show went pretty fast tonight, so we knew we were ahead of schedule and needed to plan something.
"Hey! Today is 8/8/08! We should do something special!" -S
"It's 7:10pm right now, could we do something at 8:08?" -me
So right then and there we decided that at the end of the closing ceremony, we would take all of the kids outside, arrange them in a giant 8 and then take a photo from the balcony. So at 8:04pm, I was just finishing the closing ceremony and said, "WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING AMAZING! IT'S NEVER GOING TO BE 8/8/08 AGAIN!"
The kids responded with a ROAR of excitement. One of those moments working with kids that I am blown away by their excitement and know I am experiencing pure magic and a memory int he making. I explain what we are going to do and tell them we have to hurry. Everyone JUMPS up, rushes outside and organizes themselves faster than they've ever done anything. We count down 10, 9, 8... until it is 8:08 pm exactly. Everyone jumps up and down and starts cheering.
Perfection.
At highs and lows tonight every Leader-in-Training says that the 8 thing was their high of the day. Such a random thing, no planning ahead, probably 6 minutes, start to finish, but it was unique, memorable, camp perfection.
"Hey! Today is 8/8/08! We should do something special!" -S
"It's 7:10pm right now, could we do something at 8:08?" -me
So right then and there we decided that at the end of the closing ceremony, we would take all of the kids outside, arrange them in a giant 8 and then take a photo from the balcony. So at 8:04pm, I was just finishing the closing ceremony and said, "WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING AMAZING! IT'S NEVER GOING TO BE 8/8/08 AGAIN!"
The kids responded with a ROAR of excitement. One of those moments working with kids that I am blown away by their excitement and know I am experiencing pure magic and a memory int he making. I explain what we are going to do and tell them we have to hurry. Everyone JUMPS up, rushes outside and organizes themselves faster than they've ever done anything. We count down 10, 9, 8... until it is 8:08 pm exactly. Everyone jumps up and down and starts cheering.
Perfection.
At highs and lows tonight every Leader-in-Training says that the 8 thing was their high of the day. Such a random thing, no planning ahead, probably 6 minutes, start to finish, but it was unique, memorable, camp perfection.
The Handy Man
My dad is the caretaker at camp, and so far this summer has sort of been a behind the scenes guy. He fixes things when they break and works on projects like building fences, and shelves and stuff. I love having him here because he's dependable and can do almost anything.
This week, my dad has added "rockstar" to his list of duties. We have had an outbreak of bees. There are nests everywhere and kids getting stung every time I turn around. Every time a nest is discovered, my dad has been there to spray it and get rid of the bees. Apparently this is very heroic to the campers, because he has become almost mythical in his bee killing ability. Last night I heard, "he's a hero. He saved our lives from the bees." And today, when yet another nest was discovered, I heard one of the little boys yell, "WHERE'S THE HANDYMAN??"
When my dad isn't busy fixing or building something, or saving the camp from bees, he is talking someone's ear off about one of his many interests including panning for gold and searching for cool rocks. The kids know about the rock passion, and like to rush up to him in the dining hall with rocks they have found and ask if they are "good rocks". Almost every day campers will ask me where the handyman is because they have a rock to show him. It makes me laugh and it makes me happy. Part of a successful camp community is having beloved members of the staff. My dad has just enough charisma combined with an interesting job here at camp to become what legends are made of.
This week, my dad has added "rockstar" to his list of duties. We have had an outbreak of bees. There are nests everywhere and kids getting stung every time I turn around. Every time a nest is discovered, my dad has been there to spray it and get rid of the bees. Apparently this is very heroic to the campers, because he has become almost mythical in his bee killing ability. Last night I heard, "he's a hero. He saved our lives from the bees." And today, when yet another nest was discovered, I heard one of the little boys yell, "WHERE'S THE HANDYMAN??"
When my dad isn't busy fixing or building something, or saving the camp from bees, he is talking someone's ear off about one of his many interests including panning for gold and searching for cool rocks. The kids know about the rock passion, and like to rush up to him in the dining hall with rocks they have found and ask if they are "good rocks". Almost every day campers will ask me where the handyman is because they have a rock to show him. It makes me laugh and it makes me happy. Part of a successful camp community is having beloved members of the staff. My dad has just enough charisma combined with an interesting job here at camp to become what legends are made of.
Staff Issues
I took C to the doctor, who told him that his shoulder was fine. Amazing how much better he felt after that... well, that is until he rolled his ankle and had to sit out of the dance last night. However, I will admit he did a very nice job of interacting with the campers that weren't dancing and he is working towards the goal I gave him of getting to know 20 kids this week. So I am not complaining about him. I have others to complain about.
The staff has divided into cliques and I am so crabby about it. I have been meeting with people individually this week and several people have told me they either feel left out or frustrated with other staff or are stressed out. It is so distracting from campers and I want to scream.
There are 7 people leaving camp for the weekend. One of my international staff is going home already (school starts for her on the 11th!), and two other people are going to take her to the airport and then go to a family function at one of their houses. They asked to be able to do this weeks ago and they will be riding the bus up to camp on Monday. It's a great situation because I don't have to worry about taking her to the airport and I have people to ride the bus on Monday.
There are 4 people who decided yesterday they want to go to the city and meet up with the old art director. I was fine with it, except that none of them have cars here, and three of them can't legally drive even if they had a car. Unfortunately this week, the bus is already full on Monday, which means they can ride down to the city tomorrow, but not back up to camp. The art director offered to drive them back, but I've already witnessed her dependability and forgive me for being skeptical, but I'm not thrilled with the idea. And in light of last weekend's events, I'm skeptical about their ability to be responsible.
So I met with them this morning and let them know they could go to the city, but I would be asking them to sign a contract agreeing to be back on time on Monday morning or they will be docked pay. I hate to be so strict and mean, but we have a BIG group of kids next week, and I will be the Executive Director, the Program Director, and the Art Director next week, so I don't have time to deal with any staff drama. I need to make sure they are here because I can't drive 6 hours round trip to get them. One of them asked, "what happens if we choose not to sign the contract." This is a 16 year old junior counselor who has been at camp as a camper for years, was close with the Boss and who has been trying to get into a power struggle with me all summer. Try again kid, I don't have time for nonsense.
I calmly explained that the contract is just something that shows me that they will be willing to take responsibility for themselves so that my mind can be at ease. I can't be short 4 staff on Monday, it just won't work. If he didn't want to sign the contract, that would say to me he isn't willing to be responsible for himself and perhaps camp is not the right place for him. I would be SO upset to lose another staff, but seriously, don't give me attitude. I'm not dealing with stupid stuff. You are expected to be back by 9am Mondays. Plan ahead, be professional and don't question me. Ugh, I'm so annoyed. And by a 16 year old junior staff. That's even more annoying. He's a kid. Quite honestly, he's not even technically old enough to be here for the full summer. Yet another situation that I have to deal with from the Boss.
I am so annoyed I could scream. I am trying really hard ot be patient and calm and have a sense of humor. But I literally want to rip someone's head off.
The staff has divided into cliques and I am so crabby about it. I have been meeting with people individually this week and several people have told me they either feel left out or frustrated with other staff or are stressed out. It is so distracting from campers and I want to scream.
There are 7 people leaving camp for the weekend. One of my international staff is going home already (school starts for her on the 11th!), and two other people are going to take her to the airport and then go to a family function at one of their houses. They asked to be able to do this weeks ago and they will be riding the bus up to camp on Monday. It's a great situation because I don't have to worry about taking her to the airport and I have people to ride the bus on Monday.
There are 4 people who decided yesterday they want to go to the city and meet up with the old art director. I was fine with it, except that none of them have cars here, and three of them can't legally drive even if they had a car. Unfortunately this week, the bus is already full on Monday, which means they can ride down to the city tomorrow, but not back up to camp. The art director offered to drive them back, but I've already witnessed her dependability and forgive me for being skeptical, but I'm not thrilled with the idea. And in light of last weekend's events, I'm skeptical about their ability to be responsible.
So I met with them this morning and let them know they could go to the city, but I would be asking them to sign a contract agreeing to be back on time on Monday morning or they will be docked pay. I hate to be so strict and mean, but we have a BIG group of kids next week, and I will be the Executive Director, the Program Director, and the Art Director next week, so I don't have time to deal with any staff drama. I need to make sure they are here because I can't drive 6 hours round trip to get them. One of them asked, "what happens if we choose not to sign the contract." This is a 16 year old junior counselor who has been at camp as a camper for years, was close with the Boss and who has been trying to get into a power struggle with me all summer. Try again kid, I don't have time for nonsense.
I calmly explained that the contract is just something that shows me that they will be willing to take responsibility for themselves so that my mind can be at ease. I can't be short 4 staff on Monday, it just won't work. If he didn't want to sign the contract, that would say to me he isn't willing to be responsible for himself and perhaps camp is not the right place for him. I would be SO upset to lose another staff, but seriously, don't give me attitude. I'm not dealing with stupid stuff. You are expected to be back by 9am Mondays. Plan ahead, be professional and don't question me. Ugh, I'm so annoyed. And by a 16 year old junior staff. That's even more annoying. He's a kid. Quite honestly, he's not even technically old enough to be here for the full summer. Yet another situation that I have to deal with from the Boss.
I am so annoyed I could scream. I am trying really hard ot be patient and calm and have a sense of humor. But I literally want to rip someone's head off.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
To Be 12 Again...
Scene- the weekly dance.
The awkward girl and the awkward boy who kept looking at each other at different times, and dancing near each other, but not with each other. She tied and re-tied her shoe about a million times, and then she finally got the nerve to ask him to dance, and his response, "um, like, I don't really want to dance right now, but maybe later." I watched the whole thing while grimacing, knowing it wasn't going to be a happy ending. Upon rejection, she crossed the dance floor and sat on the opposite side of the dining hall looking mortified. I went and sat with her for a few minutes, and was surprised by how excited she was at his response. "He said, 'maybe later'!" That was good enough for her. At 12 years old, I guess you're not looking for much.
Later, several of the Leaders-in-Training, who are 15 and 16 went over to her and asked her if she wanted to dance with them. It took some convincing, but she eventually joined them. So there she was, in a circle with all of the old, cool girls, dancing away. I wanted to hug all of them and thank them for including her, for making something in her 12 year old life easy. And then I wanted to pull 12 year old awkward girl aside and tell her to be confident, not to base her self esteem on what boys think of her, to learn to love herself and not to waste a bunch of time on boy drama because it's just not worth it. I wanted to tell her how happy she can be if she spends more time on herself and less time worrying about what boys think. I don't know think any of that would have made sense to her. I think you can talk to kids until you are blue in the face, but they have to learn things on their own. I wish I could spare them; I wish I could make it easy for them. But I know that these experiences are what will shape their lives. And sometimes my job is just to stand on the sidelines and watch because there's nothing else I can do.
The awkward girl and the awkward boy who kept looking at each other at different times, and dancing near each other, but not with each other. She tied and re-tied her shoe about a million times, and then she finally got the nerve to ask him to dance, and his response, "um, like, I don't really want to dance right now, but maybe later." I watched the whole thing while grimacing, knowing it wasn't going to be a happy ending. Upon rejection, she crossed the dance floor and sat on the opposite side of the dining hall looking mortified. I went and sat with her for a few minutes, and was surprised by how excited she was at his response. "He said, 'maybe later'!" That was good enough for her. At 12 years old, I guess you're not looking for much.
Later, several of the Leaders-in-Training, who are 15 and 16 went over to her and asked her if she wanted to dance with them. It took some convincing, but she eventually joined them. So there she was, in a circle with all of the old, cool girls, dancing away. I wanted to hug all of them and thank them for including her, for making something in her 12 year old life easy. And then I wanted to pull 12 year old awkward girl aside and tell her to be confident, not to base her self esteem on what boys think of her, to learn to love herself and not to waste a bunch of time on boy drama because it's just not worth it. I wanted to tell her how happy she can be if she spends more time on herself and less time worrying about what boys think. I don't know think any of that would have made sense to her. I think you can talk to kids until you are blue in the face, but they have to learn things on their own. I wish I could spare them; I wish I could make it easy for them. But I know that these experiences are what will shape their lives. And sometimes my job is just to stand on the sidelines and watch because there's nothing else I can do.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Sick of Camp
I know that in September, I will be so sad that camp is over and I will miss my staff terribly. But right now, I'm pretty sick of about half of them. I totally get that they are tired and ready to be done. But seriously people, it's time to put your game faces on and be professional. Start doing your flipping job or my head is going to explode.
I think it is even more frustrating, because my really good staff are left to pick up the slack and compensate for the others. It is causing strife amongst them and I am trying to mediate. I am also trying to figure out a way to make sure my good staff are not feeling stressed out, but there's not much I can do. I'm in over my head, there's just far too much on my shoulders and it means that I have to ask people who were hired as counselors to take on a great deal of responsibility. They are doing well. S, S, A and C are outstanding. They take initiative and don't mind doing whatever needs to be done.
I have others that lead in different areas at different times, and I appreciate them for that. But there are some that are just not doing what they are supposed to do. It is frustrating.
Meanwhile, boy C has had a sore shoulder since he got to camp. He said he strained it carrying his luggage. Most of the time, he's fine. He can kayak, dance, play sports... However, whenever staff are asked to move tables, clean, carry anything, or really do anything he doesn't seem to be interested in, his shoulder really starts to hurt. I have been patient and given him other options. But it's REALLY selective pain. And ALL of the staff, myself included, are frustrated by his apparent laziness. Finally yesterday, when he was sitting on a bench, by himself, instead of playing the all-camp game, because the bouncing of the running hurt his shoulder, I decided I'd had it. I told him he needed to work with what he had and if he couldn't run, he would jog. If not jog, pick a slow kid and walk with the kid. I don't care, just DO SOMETHING.
Today I took him to the doctor who told him to ice it if it hurt, but otherwise he seemed fine. Yeah, I sorta already knew that... He's not a very good counselor to begin with, so this fake injury is particularly annoying. I want o yell at him every time I see him, so it takes a great deal of self talk to be patient and kind.
2 weeks and 2 days. I can make it. I really can.
I think it is even more frustrating, because my really good staff are left to pick up the slack and compensate for the others. It is causing strife amongst them and I am trying to mediate. I am also trying to figure out a way to make sure my good staff are not feeling stressed out, but there's not much I can do. I'm in over my head, there's just far too much on my shoulders and it means that I have to ask people who were hired as counselors to take on a great deal of responsibility. They are doing well. S, S, A and C are outstanding. They take initiative and don't mind doing whatever needs to be done.
I have others that lead in different areas at different times, and I appreciate them for that. But there are some that are just not doing what they are supposed to do. It is frustrating.
Meanwhile, boy C has had a sore shoulder since he got to camp. He said he strained it carrying his luggage. Most of the time, he's fine. He can kayak, dance, play sports... However, whenever staff are asked to move tables, clean, carry anything, or really do anything he doesn't seem to be interested in, his shoulder really starts to hurt. I have been patient and given him other options. But it's REALLY selective pain. And ALL of the staff, myself included, are frustrated by his apparent laziness. Finally yesterday, when he was sitting on a bench, by himself, instead of playing the all-camp game, because the bouncing of the running hurt his shoulder, I decided I'd had it. I told him he needed to work with what he had and if he couldn't run, he would jog. If not jog, pick a slow kid and walk with the kid. I don't care, just DO SOMETHING.
Today I took him to the doctor who told him to ice it if it hurt, but otherwise he seemed fine. Yeah, I sorta already knew that... He's not a very good counselor to begin with, so this fake injury is particularly annoying. I want o yell at him every time I see him, so it takes a great deal of self talk to be patient and kind.
2 weeks and 2 days. I can make it. I really can.
Monday, August 4, 2008
Drama at Camp
The honeymoon period lasted such a long time that I really thought we would make it through the summer without any drama. Er, well, any personal drama. Anyone who's been reading knows I have daily camp drama. But no, we have a love triangle going on and it's causing some drama amongst the staff.
Girl E and Boy A were friends before camp. I questioned whether or not they were dating, but it was hard to tell, so I didn't think much of it. Really, I try to stay out of any staff stuff, I have too much to worry about here at camp without nonsense drama. But when information is freely given to me, I am not going to ignore it... So, anyway, they were friends/possibly more at the beginning of the summer.
But lately, Girl E has been looking a bit stressed out. Every time I talk to her she assures me everything is okay, but she still looks upset. Today, I was talking to a one of my favorite counselors Girl A and she let me know Girl E was stressed out because Boy A and G are now dating. News to me! No wonder she's stressed out.
So we have a love triangle situation. I really didn't expect it, but here it is. It doesn't really change much. It's not really affecting camp, all three have been really professional and quiet abotu it. Yes, I will be arranging breaks accordingly, because I don't have time for any of this romance nonsense, so yes, I will play God and make sure they are all separate as much as possible. But otherwise, I will stay out of it. They don't need to know that I know. But, for the record, I hear and see everything at my camp...
What The _ Were They Thinking?
Yesterday was a rough day. This is by far the most difficult job I've ever had. Thank goodness for my mom and my best friend who let me vent and cry for hours on the phone. I don't know if I've had a happy conversation with either of them in the last week, which I feel bad about because 99% of the time I'm happy and loving my job, but that other 1% is awful. And without anyone else here as management, I can only vent to them. I am ready to go home and not be responsible for other people 24/7.
So this week, several counselors started the, "let's throw people in the lake" phase of the summer. At our staff debrief, I let them know I as cool with pranks as long as the kids aren't here. So this weekend was free. I didn't add, "don't destroy anything" and "make good choices" because I sort of assumed that was a given.
Never assume.
So some of the girls who'd been thrown in the lake decided to get back at the boys. Good plan. They decided to wake them up early this morning by throwing buckets of water on them. Unfortunately, the boys weren't in their cabin, they had fallen asleep in the staff lounge. The boys cabin has wood floors and plastic mattresses. The staff lounge has fabric couches. I would assume that since they were on the fabric couches, the plan would have changed.
So this week, several counselors started the, "let's throw people in the lake" phase of the summer. At our staff debrief, I let them know I as cool with pranks as long as the kids aren't here. So this weekend was free. I didn't add, "don't destroy anything" and "make good choices" because I sort of assumed that was a given.
Never assume.
So some of the girls who'd been thrown in the lake decided to get back at the boys. Good plan. They decided to wake them up early this morning by throwing buckets of water on them. Unfortunately, the boys weren't in their cabin, they had fallen asleep in the staff lounge. The boys cabin has wood floors and plastic mattresses. The staff lounge has fabric couches. I would assume that since they were on the fabric couches, the plan would have changed.
Never assume.
On my one day off to sleep in, I was woken up at 5am by screams and running. At 6am, I had three wide awake counselors knocking on my door, letting me know the basement was all wet. I told them that unless someone was bleeding they needed to get out of my room and let me sleep. At 8am, I got up, went downstairs and was absolutely shocked to see soaking wet couches and standing water on the floor.
Oh no, they did not.
Yes, they did. I passed the word that there would be a meeting at 10:30 and then answered the ringing phone. It was out cleaning lady (she cleans the 10 bathrooms every weekend). She decided she didn't really want to do this job anymore and wouldn't be coming.
I spent the next 2 hours calming myself down so I would scream at the staff. I wrote notes of what I wanted to say... Well, actually, what I wanted to say was, "what the F were you thinking?" but I didn't write that. And then at 10:30 I calmly explained that I was disappointed by their bad choice and that we needed to clarify some expectations for behavior. I also gave instructions on how to better dry out a couch and the direction that it needed to be taken care of immediately. Then I let them know that even though they were all planning to leave right then to go to J's parent's cabin for the day, instead, they would be helping me clean bathrooms for the next hour. And yes, there was a small piece of me that enjoyed giving that bad news to them since I was still quite annoyed at the puppet show from that morning. But actually, it was necessary, because it took the whole group an hour to clean bathrooms and it would have taken me all day. So it was much more practical than me just being vindictive.
After we cleaned, they all got ready to enjoy a day on the lake, grilling and having fun. I really wanted to go and was super bummed to stay back, but one of our board members is here for the weekend, and I didn't feel like it was appropriate to leave her all day. Plus, the camp nurse always arrives Sunday night, and I didn't think we would be back in time to greet him. It would be really inappropriate to let our volunteer just roam around while I was nowhere to be found. So I had no choice. But it still made me unhappy. I am sick of being the adult here. I'm sick of being the one to enforce rules and give bad news and miss out on the fun. I am sick of being responsible for every person and every building and everything in sight, every minute of every day, including the hours I am sleeping/being woken up. Meanwhile, my boss, well, former boss actually, is busy enjoying rehab and not dealing with the budget he messed up, whining parents and maintenance issues. If I have the opportunity to see him again, I am quite sure I will have no words, but will just go up to him and shake him really hard, and ask him what the F he was thinking. But until then, I am literally 100% responsible for every single aspect of this camp by MYSELF. Which makes me wonder what the F was I thinking when I took this on???
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Salad Dressing Continued...
So what was my costume for the Salad Dressing party?
...House Dressing...
...House Dressing... 
Tough to dance in, but totally original.
Salad Dressing
A few days ago, S and I had the brilliant idea to plan a dance party for the weekend. First, we decided on a theme- Salad Dressing. The idea is that everyone would come dressed as their favorite dressing. So if your favorite is ranch, you might dress in a cowboy hat and cowboy boots. If you love Caesar, you might come in a toga.. You get the idea.Next, we crafted some fabulous invitations, cut in a bowl shape and complete with tissue paper lettuce, details on the back. We handed them out and then everyone spent time on Saturday afternoon, after campers had left, creating their perfect outfit. Most people spent some time googling salad dressing first, which I found to be funny, yet resourceful.
For our party, we made a variety of salad appetizers (taco salad, snicker salad, fruit salad, etc.), we also had a great playlist of dance music and the big speakers hooked up to blast the music. The party was B.Y.O.B. which, in this case, refered to, "bring your own bowl". We filled the drama building with decorations, and then waited for everyone to arrive, which was the best part of the night because we got to see each other's costumes and hear the explanations. This is the perfect kind of party to do with camp staff, because they are the most creative people alive.
C dressed as honey mustard, which included a tall yellow cone shaped hat (like the top of mustard) and a black shirt with yellow stripes pinned on (like a bee). S was poppy seed, so she made a giant poppy flower out of tissue paper, which she pinned all around herself and then made bracelets and anklets out of paper and birdseed. My favorite costume of the night was K, who dressed in an olive colored shirt and had made wide belt to go around his waist with a red circle crossed out to make a "no" symbol. He was extra virgin olive oil.
We danced, ate, hung out and had a blast. It was a great night at camp!
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