Crest

The water crested yesterday which means that it’s done rising and now it can start to recede. The basement of the stonehouse (which is where the staff live) has 5 feet of water in it. The sump pump stopped working and no one could reach us to fix it. Within a few hours there was a foot of water in the basement and it rose from there. I’m not sure if that house will survive this whole ordeal.

But Indian Point Lodge, which is at the center of camp and was built in 1923 didn’t flood like I feared. If the water had been an inch higher, it would have gone over the floor, but we got lucky.

The whole camp smells like dead fish and swamp. It’s disgusting and you get wet any time you walk anywhere. I’m sick of being sandy and damp and dirty and bored. I’m so thankful that the water didn’t go any higher and that it is done rising, and now I’m ready for a break. The momentum is usually there from a steady flow of activity, kids, and work is gone. I am tired and crabby. I know that when everyone gets back to camp and there is a long to do list, I will regain the energy that I lost, but for now, I’m headed to the city.

Moving Forward

Okay, I just re-read my entry from Tuesday night and I’m considerably better today than I was after the town hall meeting.

On Wednesday I woke up filled with dread, toured camp to measure the water and take photos and then called 150 parents (some of whom I’d spoken with just a few days earlier when I had rescheduled them from the first week).

I’ve worked incredibly hard for 4 years to build relationships with families. I send emails, make personal phone calls, and have worked hard to know (and be known by) campers AND parents. I have put a lot of effort into making people feel like they are sending their child to a familiar place, rather than a generic program where they will get lost in the shuffle. It has taken me YEARS, but I have made great progress and so I felt that I owed it to every parent to call him or her personally- even though I REALLY didn’t want to call anyone.

I left about 50 messages, but I talked to most people. There wasn’t one negative or crabby person. Everyone was kind and so sympathetic. Many asked if I needed anything personally and asked how they could help. Several told me that they schedule their summer around camp and that they would keep rescheduling so their children could come.

A few people have cancelled because their schedules wouldn’t allow for a different week, but even those people were kind and assured me they’d be back next year.

I’ve spoken with and emailed with several board members who have all been complimentary and encouraging. One even said, “you are a hero to lead this camp” which I thought was dramatic but I appreciated her sentiment.

The remaining staff members and I called all staff and then I followed up with an email with more details. I told them that I want all of them to come back but I understand if they need to get a different job. All have written back with words of encouragement (“keep your director-face”) and prayers and deeper empathy than I’d expected. Many have made comments about how painful this must be for me and I deeply appreciate their words, because I am trying really hard to be strong and upbeat and encouraging for them, but, yes, this is REALLY painful for me. All of the staff has said they will be back to camp as soon as I call and I am relieved and thankful for their loyalty. They are going to earn about 1/3 less than they’d planned and that has to be difficult for them.

I only cancelled two more weeks, although I know that the session that begins July 15 is probably going to have to be cancelled as well. I couldn’t bring myself to cancel that one too. Not yet.

On the bright side, I added another week in August. Enough staff said they would be available and so we’ll now have camp August 19-24. Several parents have already switched to that week, so I’m relieved we could save those registrations. I’m not sure how many we will lose when this is all said and done, but for right now, I’m hopeful. We’re losing two weeks (hopefully that’s it) and one was really small anyway, so the impact is going to be minimal. In the grand scheme of 65 years, losing two weeks isn’t the end of the world or the end of camp. We are going to be fine.

The lake is going to crest on Friday and once I see the full effect of the flood, I am going to go home for the week and relax while the water recedes. I didn’t want a vacation, but maybe a few days away will be a nice break. Until then, we’re here for a few more days, doing everything we can to minimize the damage and enjoy quiet, sunny camp. 

Numb

The week after my dad died, I was numb. The pain hit me in little bursts here and there, but mostly, I didn’t feel anything. All week, I repeated, “So… he died? He died…. So… then… huh.” I understood the words and I had been there when he passed, so I KNEW he was dead, but I couldn’t wrap my head around it and it was confusing to feel so numb. Eventually waves of crippling pain and burning rage washed over me and I then I couldn’t remember what it felt like not to feel anything.

And then camp flooded. Perhaps it is dramatic to compare camp flooding to my dad dying- they aren’t on the same level of awful things that happen in life. But as the waters rise around me, I think this might be the second worse experience of my life. I’ve spent the last few hours numbly repeating, “Camp is flooding… and it’s gonna get worse… because… we’re flooding… so…. then… huh.”

I’ve been trying to remain calm, take the days one at a time and not get dramatic. We lost a week, but that’s okay, because we kept all the campers and we’ll be fine.

And then I went to the town hall meeting this evening where the sheriff and the army corps of engineers and the lake association president and the county human resources people let us know that it was still going up nine more inches and that it would be 6 weeks to 2 months before it would be back to normal. And hey, you know all that water we’ve been walking through every day to measure and take pictures? Um, yeah, in a flood, you should assume all standing water is contaminated because once it rises over septic tanks, it’s, well, kind of poop water. And the water we’ve been drinking and showering in, yeah, that’s probably bad too. This dramatic little adventure with my loyal staff who’ve so nobly stood by my side as we’ve fought to save camp is going to become an insurance nightmare when they all get sick. I don’t want to be in charge of people any more. It’s too much pressure and responsibility.

We left the meeting and all of them looked ready to cry or panic or whatever you’re supposed to do when you realize you’re in the middle of a disaster. I was numb. I was silent. And I think that made it difficult for them to decide how to respond. Finally Counselor D said, “so, are we going to talk about this at some point?” I told her that I needed to eat something and call some people and then we would talk. I ate dinner, called my best friend to numbly repeat all of the information I’d just received and try to process what it meant. Then I called the Board President and calmly told him what was happening.

What’s happening is that we need to cancel two more weeks of camp (possibly more). What’s happening is that when your season is 9 weeks and you lose three of them, it’s really bad. What’s happening is that this camp that I have fought for and worked so hard to pull out of a hole is slipping away from me. All of the progress that I’ve made for 4 years is getting literally washed away.

I’m numb, because it’s just so awful there is no way to comprehend how bad it really is. But this time around I know that the feeling is temporary and there are a lot of really terrible feelings around the corner. And there’s nothing that you can do to stop them, nothing you can do to correct the situation because sometimes awful things happen in life that you have NO control over so you just take the pain, because that’s the only option.

So tonight I’m numb and I’m thankful because I know that pretty soon, I won’t remember what numb feels like. Tomorrow I have to make about 150 phone calls and be a strong, confident leader when all I really want to do is lay down and cry.

Flood

The first week was a success. There were some challenges and staff is going to get better each week, but overall, it was wonderful. Parent day was smooth and the staff meeting was organized and filled with laughter and lots of proud smiles.

P&S are getting married tomorrow. They met at camp in 2009 and were co-program directors last year.  They got engaged right before staff training last year and I can’t think of two people who I enjoy more. They are an amazing couple and I have had their wedding on my calendar since they booked the church last July.

All the return staff and I were invited to the wedding and would be gone this weekend, a lot of people also planned to leave for the weekend since camp would be pretty empty. After the staff meeting, people quickly gathered backpacks for the weekend and headed off for some rest. I’d planned on leaving as quickly as I could so I could get home and run some errands and then go out to dinner with my boyfriend. My mom had driven to camp to spend the weekend with my dogs so that I wouldn’t have to drag them back to the city.

Everything was falling into place. And then, right after the meeting, Program Director M returned to camp from a doctor appointment in town and let us know that the water was getting even higher and the lake was going to flood the roads. I called the sheriff who confirmed that the water was going up (probably a foot by the end of the weekend) and I realized that if I left, I might not be able to get back to camp.

Camp property is on a peninsula and if the water goes over the road, it will be an island. I REALLY wanted to go to the wedding and I was excited to see my boyfriend, have a weekend away from camp and I didn’t know what to do. The camp director from across the lake stopped by and we discussed the impending flood, canceling camp for the following week (it hadn’t occurred to me until he said it) and how crazy it was.

I started feeling a little panicky and really unsure of what to do. I didn’t want to miss the wedding, but I didn’t want to get stuck and not be able to get back to camp. I called my best friend X to talk it out and finally decided not to take the risk. I sent my mom home (I felt terrible because she’d just arrived, but I didn’t want her to be trapped!), I called my boyfriend to break the bad news and called two board members to debate what to do.

There were 7 of us left at camp and we got in the van and headed for town. There were notices posted on the doors and windows of the grocery store and every other business in town alerting people that the lake was rising quickly. The road into town was covered in water but cars were still able to drive over it. The alert said the water was going to go up another FOOT over the next week. Another foot would cover the road, as well as our camp road (turning us into an island) and would mean that a lot of camp would be under water.

The staff meeting ended at 3:30 pm and everything was perfect in life. By 7pm this evening, I’d made the decision to skip the wedding and my whole weekend, cancel camp next week and be stuck at camp as the whole town flooded. I’m shaking my head in disbelief and I don’t know how this happened. I’m not sure if I am being dramatic and everything will be fine by tomorrow and I will be crabby that I skipped the wedding for no reason, or if the water is going to keep rising and I will be crabby that camp is flooding. It seems like a no-win situation and I’m not really sure what to expect these next few days. I didn’t expect this at all.

June 25

On Saturday morning, we walked around camp with a yard sick and took pictures of the water. Overnight, the lake had risen over 9 inches and I couldn’t imagine what it was going to be like in a few days, and I couldn’t begin to comprehend what it would be like by the time it was expected to crest next Friday (8 days after it started rising).

This week of camp (June 24-29) was very low enrollment and last week I was shaking my head and wishing I could cancel the week and move the registered kids to other weeks. Even giving three staff members the week off, we were going to have almost as many staff as campers and I wasn’t happy about it. But on Saturday afternoon as the water continued to rise, calling all of the parents to tell them I was cancelling the week was WAY worse than running a small week. I was relieved to reschedule ALL of the kids that week. I only refunded two tuitions because two kids that session were registered for two weeks this summer and they couldn’t pick a different second week.

Everyone was incredibly nice, offering prayers, encouragement and asking if they could volunteer to help clean up once the water receded. As the staff and I have toured camp every few hours, measuring the rising water, I have been using their kind words to stay strong and avoid panicked “what-ifs”.

I am trying to see the positive- I didn’t want to run a week with such low enrollment and I was able to reschedule everyone. It will probably end up being a financial gain in the long run.

Everything is going to be fine. I regret not going to the wedding, because I probably could have still made it back to camp on Sunday, but it’s not the end of the world. Everything is going to be fine.

Checking In

This year, I created “check in dinners”. Monday-Thursday, M, M, A as well as media specialists M&B give up their seat at the head table and counselors sit with me for dinner. I divided the staff into “teams” so every Monday I will have dinner with the red team, Tuesday is the orange team, Wednesday is the yellow team and Thursday is the green team. It is a great way to check in with staff and also gives them a short break from kids. It’s only the first week, but I love it already.

I am trying to be intentionally more “hands on” this summer. It seems like I get so busy with emails and paperwork that all of a sudden it is July and I realize I haven’t had a chance to really talk with staff one on one or go out to activities. So this year I am scheduling in time and even though it’s only been 4 days, I’m already doing better than ever and I feel more accessible to staff. I am eager to do this for a few more weeks in a row and see how it goes.