Paralyzed

Once again, I am paralyzed. I'm not sure why this keeps happening. I'm not a lazy person. I'm not depressed or tired. I'm organized and I know what I need to do. And yet, here I sit, blogging about how much I have to do, rather than actually DOING anything.

In the re-entry packet I give the summer staff, one of the things it tells them is that sometime between 3 hours and 3 days after you return home, you will get tired, really tired. It says to be patient with yourself and give yourself time to adjust to "normal" life. I am trying to remind myself of that because being frustrated with myself is not helping the situation.

For 3 months, I was "on" 24/7. Even when the kids weren't there, I was responsible for the staff, the facility and had to stay focused on camp. Even when I went home for a few days while the flood water receded, I was in "camp mode".  It's 3 months fueled by adrenaline.

I've made the comparison before- camp is like being on a roller coaster. You are excited and nervous before it begins. It starts and is the most fun, intense ride you've ever been on and you hope the fun will never end. Eventually though, the ups and the downs and the curves start to be too much and you want to get off the wild ride. But you stick with it and there are moments when you're having the time of your life and moments when you hate it, and it's amazing.

When you are on the roller coaster, no matter how hard you might try to multi task, it's difficult to think about anything other than the wild ride that you are on. And then it stops and you get off and being on solid ground feels weird. It takes some time to shake off the ride and re-focus on real life.

All of my clothes and random "stuff" are in a pile in my living room. My office is filled with boxes and loose papers and needs to be sorted and put back together into a useable work space.  My dad's stuff is overflowing from the two closets I jammed it all in right after he died. I couldn't sort through it at the time and I just wanted it out of the way. My boyfriend N is moving in, so we need to sort through my house and his house to decide who's furniture we are using and what we need to get rid of. Some of his stuff has made it's way to my house already, but I need to sort through the closets, the basement and every cabinet and corner to make room for his stuff.

I have made multiple lists. Lists of lists. Color coded, divided by project, divided by day... I know what I need to accomplish. And yet, here I sit, typing away. I might re-write a list or two when I finish this. I just can't seem to DO anything yet.

I should just choose one thing and try to accomplish it, but that's just not happening. So I'm being patient with myself and trusting that eventually it will all get done and life will go back to normal.

The Final Week

On Sunday I was excited for the campers to arrive. There were only 35 this week, which is small, even for us, and ordinarily, I would be disappointed by the low number. But I added that session in July and started out with only 7 kids who I'd moved from some of the flood weeks. I was REALLY nervous that we wouldn't have enough kids to run the week. At the end of each week, we've told the parents and campers about the new week and encouraged them to sign up for another week of camp. So I am thrilled by the number 35- this week it is not considered a small number.

By Wednesday, I'd hit a wall. As if I'd literally ran and crashed my body into a physical wall, that was how strongly I felt. I was exhausted- physically, mentally, emotionally- I felt like I was going to collapse. Even though closing down camp is the same as always and I knew it would get done, I felt paralyzed. M, M and A were rockstars- flying through the to-do list without stopping. I was doing my best, putting in all of the effort I had, but there were times when I was just sitting there, watching them, willing myself to move, but physically unable. I'm sure they were frustrated with me, although they didn't say anything (which I appreciated). I was so thankful that they were there and able to do what I wasn't capable of.

Camp ended today. I had slightly more energy today, but I was still dragging. I'm always tired at the end, but this was the hardest end of the summer yet. It's been a more difficult summer than I've allowed myself to acknowledge. The flood was hard, really hard- harder than I realized at the time. Not having my dad here was hard. Working with the consultant has been wonderful and productive, but so much work.

I've made a lot of progress at this camp over the past 5 summers and I am proud of how far we've come. But we still have a LONG way to go. My blind ambition, naive energy, and unyielding hope have faded a little. I still believe in this camp and want to see it succeed more than anything. I am still motivated to work hard and I am completely committed, but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I am a little less shiny and new than when I started. It's not all sunshine and rainbow dreams. I'm ready to close the 2012 chapter and begin 2013.

Hugs

When homesick Camper M's parents arrived today, she completely ignored them. She clearly saw them, but made no attempt to run towards them or even acknowledge their presence. Considering that 5 days earlier, she'd told them she was going to die without them, I'd say we made a pretty good turn around. I watched them walk in, saw her ignore them and keep singing. I went up to them as I do all the parents as they arrive before the closing ceremony. I smiled and said hello and the mom wrapped her arms around me like we were old friends. I'm not a "huggy" person, but I was happy that she was satisfied with her daughter's experience.

A few minutes later, I walked up to a group of parents that I've known for a few years and I got hugged again! This was an affectionate group. After a summer of challenges, it felt good to have so much positive response.

After the campers left, we had our end of the summer staff party. This was supposed to be the last week, but I added another session to make up for the flood. It still seems early in the season and I am not ready for it to be over. Over half of the staff are leaving tonight or tomorrow morning and I am sad to say goodbye. I am happy we have one more week, even if there will be less of us.

Homesick Win

On Sunday, Camper M and her sister were dropped off at camp. M's sister has been a camper for several years and she joined the pre-camp group game right away, without hesitation. Camper M was not as excited. She stood by her parents with tears in her eyes and when it came time for them to say good bye, the tears turned into hysterical crying. They stayed while we introduced the staff and divided into cabins. I stood with them and gently let them know that the longer they stayed, the worse it would get and that most of the time, kids will snap out of it once the parents are gone. I promised I'd call them later to update them on how she was doing.

She cried on and off all of Sunday. When she was occupied, she was happy, but then she would remember that she was homesick and the tears would begin again. On Monday, the same thing was happening and in the morning, she was in my office, letting me know that she would like to go home. I made a deal with her that if she could make it to lunch, we'd call her parents and see what they thought.

She was satisfied with the deal and left. I called her mom and let her know that she was doing okay, but that we would be calling at lunch. I prepared her that no matter how much Camper M cried, if she told her they would not come and get her, she would be fine. 99% of the time, when kids hear that, without an "out" their survival mode will kick in and they will adapt to camp.

After lunch, we called her mom and she cried and told her "I've never been sadder". She went on and on for a few minutes, and I could hear the mom encouraging her but also remaining firm. When she got off the phone, she was a very sad little girl. I got out a camp journal and we started making a book for her mom of all of the best memories of camp. I told her she could come into my office any time she wanted to work on it.

As the week went on, she came in less often and eventually not at all. Tonight in chapel, when we asked for volunteers to come to the front of the chapel and lead the motions for a song, her hand was up in the air and there she was, in front of the whole camp, leading the actions and smiling.

Counselor D and I looked at each other and smiled with pride- we won that battle of homesickness and it felt good!

Camp Magic

There are moments at camp when you forget about the details and the logistics of the program you are running and get swept into the magic of what is going on around you. On Monday, we had an "opening Olympic ceremony" to kick off the week. Earlier in the day, the cabins came up with team names, cheers and painted flags.

M, M and I set up a fire using piles and piles of dry leaves covered in lighter fluid (not usually the way we start a fire) so that when could "light the Olympic flame". Property Manager T made us a torch (a back yard tiki torch spray painted gold). We downloaded the Olympic theme song and set up the big speakers on the field.

We had all of the cabins line up in a long line in the dining hall and I was in the lead with the torch. We marched down the hill, across the field, down the swim beach path and over to the fire circle. The campers carried their flags, cheering loudly the entire time. The music was blasting and every single person (camper and staff) was in the moment.

When we got to the fire circle, we circle around and all of the kids filled in. The music stopped and I gave a short speech about the Olympic games, good sportsmanship and then I yelled, "let the games begin" and used the torch to start the fire. The leaves caught fire quickly and everyone cheered.

Later, M and M commented that as the kids marched down the hill, they had tears in their eyes because it was such a powerful moment.

Consultant

Since October, I've been working with a camping consultant who has helped me improve camp marketing, recruiting, programming, etc. She was supposed to visit camp in June, but with the flood, her visit got pushed back to this week.

She and one of the board members 'M' came out on Monday and were here for an intense 24 hours. They toured camp, talked with kids and staff, met one on one with the media specialists, the program directors, with 'A', with me and then debriefed with the leadership team.

The consultant has been in the camping industry for a long time and has visited over 500 camps! She is no-nonsense and direct and I appreciate that about her because when she gives a compliment, it actually means something. Her feedback is so helpful and comes from experience. She and 'M' were at camp 7 years ago when the board brought her to in help save the camp, rather than close it. I was so pleased that during her visit, she took me aside several times to make the comment, "camp is SO different, you've made SO much progress."

On Monday night, we had an opening ceremony for Olympic week. We processed across camp and all of the kids and staff cheered and then we got to the fire circle and I used the torch to start the campfire. It was a great moment and I was really proud that J & M could be there to see it. Later, J told me that she doesn't often get emotional, but that she teared up while watching the ceremony. She's a very straightforward person so her compliments mean so much more because I know she is being genuine.

At the end of the visit, we sat down to debrief. She told me that she's had a difficult time with debrief meetings this summer because there hasn't been much "good" for her to go over. She said that being at camp helped renew her energy because it was such a great visit.

She was impressed with our programming and with the level of camper engagement. She was impressed by how much camp has changed. She acknowledged that our buildings are old and decaying and that is a major issue that needs to be addressed. I agreed with everything she said and I was happy to have her share my perspective. I feel like I've done everything I know how to do and everything I can do with limited funds and now I need some major support from the board to make some big (and expensive) changes.

I am eager to see her final report and hear her suggestions for the next steps. I feel a little overwhelmed by the "now what" part of all of this, but this has been such a beneficial experience and I know that camp is going in the right direction.

I'm exhausted after an intense 24 hours, but I feel really energized too...

Alumni

At the closing ceremony every Friday, I tell the kids that they are part of a bigger community than just the people who are in the room. I remind them that we've been a camp since 1947 and a lot of people have been here and know what it feels like to share the camp spirit. I tell them that I wear my camp tee shirts all the time and that I often meet alumni who have been to camp and tell me their camp stories. I know that the staff, who hear the same speech every week probably tune it out and think it's just a line I've made up. But the truth is, over the years, I've connected with a LOT of alumni and I love it when people stop by, call or email and want to reconnect with camp.

Our camp has done a TERRIBLE job of maintaining records or a database of campers and staff. We don't have an alumni mailing list or a way of connecting with them. It's unfortunate, because a camp like this should have a committed, connected community of people supporting the work we do with donations, volunteers and campers.

On Wednesday, the visiting priest introduced himself and told us that he'd been a camper in 1969. He told us that he watched a man walk on the moon for the first time on the porch of the lodge. It was a cool story and I was happy that he'd shared it.

Yesterday, we had a special guest at camp. Counselor K's uncle emailed me earlier in the summer and asked if I would be interested in having him our to camp to host a "star program". He has some giant telescopes and hosts a program for kids to teach them about the stars and constellations.

Not only is he Counselor K's uncle, he is also a former camper. He was so thrilled to be back at camp and he excitedly told us lots of stories from when he was here. He told us, "In 1969, I watched a man walk on the moon from the porch of the lodge." I smiled and nodded when he first started telling the story because he'd already told us... until I realized that wasn't who'd told me the story!

I got super excited and told him that the priest from earlier in the week had told the same story! What a crazy coincidence! What are the odds that we would bring back two former campers from so long ago who had been at camp at the exact same time?! Camp is magical like that...

Harry Potter Theme

Last year, I added a "Harry Potter" theme week. It was our most popular week and it was SO fun! We came up with so many little details that added to the "magic" (pardon the pun) of camp. There was a sorting hat that divided kids into cabins, a GIANT owl costume to deliver the mail, Hogwarts classes and a big game of Quiddich.

This week is Harry Potter and while it has been a good week, I've been a little disappointed because it hasn't been quite as exciting as last year. The sorting hat was cool, but didn't illicit the amazement of last year. The owl was back, but no one gasped in shock and excitement. There are little signs all over camp like "headmaster's office" for the Welcome Center and "chamber of secrets" for the door that leads to the staff locker room. The staff who made the signs did a GREAT job and were VERY clever. But overall, the week hasn't knocked my socks off.

Yesterday I sat down to make a list of the weeks and themes for next year. This is my fifth summer and every theme was a repeat from one of the previos years. And while "olympics" or "walk of fame" are always fun, next year, I am not going to repeat any themes we've ever done before.

Next summer I have "Christmas in June", "Inventors Workshop" and "Camp's Got Talent" to name a few. I don't just want the kids to be excited about the themes, I want to be excited too!

$5000

A few weeks ago, I applied for a flood relief grant. I have only applied for a few grants in the past and I wasn't terribly optimistic about this one. It wasn't a long application so I figured it wouldn't hurt to apply and see what happened.

I received a congratulations letter earlier today letting me know I was approved for $5000! I am so excited!

I called the mold removal company and they are coming later today to give me an official estimate and start work on the stone house. I am hopeful that we will finally be able to fix this house!

Cabin Spirit

Yesterday when M&M and I walked up the hill to the dining hall, we could hear loud cheering from the campers. I love walking into the dining hall in the morning when the kids are so excited. I am usually not yet awake and sometimes I wish they would be quiet until I've had a cup of coffee, but camp spirit is the absolute best part of my job.

Yesterday wasn't just your typical loud cheering and banging on tables spirit. As we walking into the front door, the entire group of campers and staff were in two lines with their arms outstretched making a tunnel. It was a tunnel of hot teenage body odor and they were all shouting at the tops of their lungs, but as I ran through it, it was magical.

The counselors this summer have done such an exceptional job with cabin spirit. I am often moved, actually moved by the magic of camp.

Staff Reviews

As if this week isn't crazy enough with the modified schedule and me being gone two days for ACA visits, it also mid summer staff review week.

Mid summer staff reviews are a great time to check in with the staff, give them feedback and give them the professional experience of having a review. They have to fill out a review of themselves and then I fill out the same sheet. We meet and go over their comments and mine.

I don't always do a good enough job of giving staff positive feedback throughout the summer. Even when I am impressed by something they've done above and beyond, sometimes camp gets so hectic and I don't take the time to say, "you did a really great job with _____." I am quick to redirect people and give them feedback on things that need to change, but positive feedback is something I am still working on.

It's been really great to talk to the staff one on one this week and give them a lot of praise. This group of staff is exceptional. I am constantly impressed by their energy, enthusiasm, creativity and the work they are doing. It's actually been a little bittersweet because we only have 3 weeks of summer left and I don't feel ready for it to be done. They are just starting to be really confident and comfortable and let their creativity flow. I don't want them to leave yet!

Perhaps in 3 weeks, I will have had my fill, but I feel a little cheated by the summer. We are supposed to finish the summer exhausted because we've done so much. I'm exhausted and emotionally drained, but when it is because a flood takes away three weeks, it isn't as satisfying as when you have given everything you have to the campers.

I'm so impressed by this group of staff. Despite the flood, the clean-up, the lost stone house, and all the rest of the drama, they have been positive, hard working and have done exceptional work all summer. I hope that the last 3 weeks even better.

Adventure Race

On Sunday, Program Directors M&M and I created an "adventure race" activity. Based on every reality show that I have ever watched (which is MANY), it was pretty detailed.

Here's how it worked-

Campers 1 & 2 ran three-legged race style from the boys cabin area to the field. When they arrived a the field, they tagged off to Campers 3&4 who had to collect 9 puzzle pieces (of their team color) that were spread on the field and then complete the puzzle. Once the puzzle was complete, they ran across the field to the mailbox where they tagged off to Campers 5&6 who had to carry a canoe (and paddles and lifejackets) to the boating bay. At the boating bay, they tagged off to campers 7, 8, &9 who had to paddle out, around the lifeguard who was in a kayak and back to the swim beach. 

Once 7, 8 and 9 were paddling, Campers 1-6 had to run back to the welcome center where they retrieved an envelope with another puzzle, which, when put together was a map. The map led them across camp to find a box of matches, a ball of twine and two tent poles. Once they found those objects, they went to the fire circle to meet up with Campers 7-9, at which point, they tied the twine across the tent poles and had to build a fire big enough to burn the twine. The first team to burn their rope was the winner. 

We wrote the activity out and then drew a HUGE map of camp, labeled with each leg of the race and the numbered campers that would be running it. We hung it up in the dining hall so everyone could see it, talk about it, and get all the details worked out, as well as assign campers to each task. 

M & M were a little nervous. For the most part this summer, they've used programming that PDS and I wrote over the past 5 years. They haven't yet written their own programming and seen it come to life. It is scary to write programming- sometimes activities look great on paper and then are lame when you actually do them with kids. I've definitely had some failed attempts over the years. 

But the race was a HUGE success. The kids were really into it and running between stations, it was rewarding to see all of them engaged and excited. It was really fun to see M&M's faces because they were SO excited to see it work. It was camp magic in action!

Camp Visit

I am an ACA (American Camp Association) accreditation visitor. That means that once or twice a summer, I leave my camp and go to another camp to walk around, go through their accreditation paperwork so that they can get re-accredited. Each ACA camp goes through the process every 3 years.

It is a great chance to see other camps, get ideas and also be familiar with the standards so that when camp goes through re-accreditation again, it is easier because I know the standards well. I've only been on a few visits, but they've all gone well.

Until today.

In June, their camp director left and they requested that their visit be moved to next year. But the accreditation chair said they had to go through it. The head visitor and I were nervous going into it because they seemed to be a little bit disorganized.

The camp was in the middle of NOWHERE and I got lost. The head visitor was also lost (even more than me) so we started the day a little late and a little crabby. When I actually arrived at the camp, the director didn't greet me or direct me where to go. None of the staff stopped me as I wandered through camp.

When we finally began the visit, the tour went well. It is a cute little camp that needs some fixing up, but has potential. Their programs left a little to be desired. When we talked to the kids and staff about what they were doing, it sounded like it was mostly unstructured and a lot of group games. They ran arts and crafts, nature, and swimming, but nothing else.

When it came time to look at the paperwork, they brought out the binder and a stack of loose papers. We spent the next 5 hours searching for necessary documentation and checking "no" on standard after standard. Even the easy ones like insurance (which they definitely have because they are part of a bigger organization) they didn't have because they didn't take the time to print off the paperwork.

I understand that it is chaotic when there is a change to the staff, but they had almost 2 months and they didn't appear to even make an attempt. What was even more frustrating is that the program manager has overseen the camp for 12 years so she knows what is expected. She said that 3 years ago, they "passed with flying colors" but if that was the case, why didn't they have ANYTHING for this visit?

In the end, they missed 4 mandatory standards, which means they have 10 days to correct them or they automatically lose accreditation. They got "no" on a lot of other standards so I'm not sure if they will pass anyway.

It was frustrating to give up my whole day for a camp that put in such little effort. It was also frustrating to see a camp with such lax safety standards.

Driving back to camp, I felt like I was returning to a 5 star hotel. When I got back, camp looked bigger, cleaner, more organized, and fancier overall. They staff and kids were cheering and busy with their well planned, very structured scheduled activities. I was filled with pride.

Sometimes a little perspective helps re-align your sight. This has been a summer of flooding, cleaning up, mold, and messes. But it could be worse...

Crabby Start to the Week

I'm having sort of a crabby start to the week. It is our teen week with a special schedule and there are MANY returning kids, so it should be a great week, but right now, I'm crabby.

On Friday, we assigned cabins. It's usually a pretty easy job, just plug people in and rotate them all so they get a different co-counselor and different age group. However, last week, there were 4 people (all females) on "special projects" and 2 females on kitchen week, all 6 females needed to be in cabins this week. This week is bigger than last week, but still sort of small. That left only two other openings for female counselors and 4 female staff to fill them. Of those, 3 had already been on kitchen duty.

In the end, it was going to be unfair for someone. I ultimately decided to have Counselor B in the kitchen for a second time because she is a mediocre counselor and I ultimately want my best staff working with kids.

When we announced cabin groups, she was SO upset and after the meeting, came to me in tears. I explained what happened and told her I was sorry she was upset, but there wasn't anything I could do. She decided to take the week off instead of being in the kitchen. It all worked out fine, but I don't like people to be upset and I don't know what the other staff think.

Speaking of other staff, I am also crabby about the way 8 of them spent their Saturday. This description will make me sound like a bad person and I am trying to get over it, but I'm annoyed anyway.

I have talked with the flood relief center MULTIPLE times to get volunteers and I have been so thankful and said, "thank you so much, I don't have anyone to do these things." So when 8 of my staff signed up to volunteer on Saturday, while I appreciate how giving and helpful and what wonderful people they are, I was annoyed that they didn't give their time to camp. They told me it's different because they work here and I said I'd be happy not to pay them.

I volunteered a lot in high school. And I am sure that when I came home telling my parents stories about raking yards or cleaning bathrooms, but then complained when I was asked to help around OUR house, they felt annoyed. So this is probably karma.

I suppose if staff volunteering is my worst problem, I shouldn't complain. I know there are other camps firing staff for drinking, breaking rules and other bad things.

I was a little petty and it helped me feel better about this whole thing earlier today. After a flood, often there are a lot of dead fish because the oxygen levels in the water drop. This morning, there were probably 200 dead fish on the beach. Someone had to clean them up, so I assigned all of the staff who'd volunteered to clean them up while the rest of the staff did other pre-camp projects. I know they were annoyed with me, but someone was going to have to clean up the fish and since they are such hard workers who are so motivated, I figured they'd be the best choice.

It is going to be a good week. I just need to get my attitude straightened out.

Recovering...

This week has been crazy and I'm not sure where the time went. It was a smaller week of campers and so I had 4 staff on "special projects". They did a ton of projects like chopping wood, painting around camp and washing (and putting in!) docks.

Getting the docks in was great because I feel like we are getting close to being back to normal. The archery range is still on the field because the real archery field is still muddy and disgusting, but we are almost back to normal.

After all the work that I put into the trailer house project, this was the week that it was supposed to be delivered. Supposed to be. Except that it wasn't.

The flood relief center found us a team of volunteers that are professionals at cleaning mold. They came out and walked around stone house and were super confident in their ability to clean it. They said it wasn't as bad as other houses they'd been to and it would be no problem.

I was so excited because we didn't need the trailer if we could fix the stone house. Also, I was getting cold feet about the trailer. I was nervous that it would end up being expensive and require more fixing then I could see. So I called the seller and backed out. It was a good exercise and learning experience and if I ever need to buy a trailer again, I will know much more!

The volunteers came back the next day with about 10 volunteers. The volunteers were local people who'd signed up to help. They were wearing tee shirts and paper masks. I was a little skeptical, but they seemed to know what they were doing. They gutted almost the whole basement and got the big wet couch and other furniture out of the basement. But at the end of the day, some of the sheetrock was still up and there were still some piles of stuff left in the basement. They told me they were done and that all I needed to do was take the rest of that stuff out and then powerwash the walls and hit them with some bleach.

Um...

I thanked them for their hard work, but I was so disappointed. When they'd described what they planned to do the day before, it was much different than what they actually did. And I had NO intention of putting any of my staff in there to "finish up".

My next step was to call an actual mold removal company. The woman who came out was VERY thorough and I wasn't surprised when she said, "this is BAD!" because I know that it is really bad. She told me NO one should be in that building without a haz-mat suit and an oxygen mask and that my description of the volunteers was pretty concerning. She also told me that power washing and bleaching was a terrible idea.

$5000 to finish gutting and soda blast the basement. .

Yikes.

The board approved but didn't really like me spending $5000 on the trailer. And to fix the stone house plumbing, electrical isn't even factored into that price.

I called our insurance company to see if it would be covered under "mechanical failure" since it was the sump pump failing that caused the mold. Unfortunately, mold is not covered under any aspect of any of our policies. So we're out of luck.

So now I'm back to square one. I don't have a solution to the housing problem yet.

I am frustrated and my whole week has been spent on this stuff. I feel detached from the campers and staff and I am ready to go back to normal camp and not "flood clean up".

Kitchen

Even though it is mid-July, it is technically only the second week of camp. It is the second week of camp and my cook is already driving me crazy! I was fully prepared for this when I hired her. She was honest about not being ready to be a head cook but I was desperate.

I've had a great cook for two years who knew everything about menus, ordering and food prep. I didn't need to know anything and so I don't know anything. The cook 3 years ago knew very little when he started, but he managed and the cook before him had been here for 15 years and knew everything.

Because I've been so hands off, the kitchen is the place at camp that causes me the most anxiety because I can't just step in and take over if necessary.

Perhaps this year is a blessing in disguise because I am learning everything you need to know and from now on, I won't ever be anxious again.

At the beginning of the summer, I created 3 weekly menus. It wasn't that difficult once I started- I looked at some school menus online and thought about all the meals we've had at camp. I worked hard to add variety so that we didn't have something with chicken or pasta or on a bun for both lunch and dinner. My best friend X proofread the menus and helped move meals around so that each day and each week had variety.

It turns out that the food company that we order everything from is VERY helpful in quantities, so Cook Z has been working closely with the food rep to plan for the week.

Camp Administrator A is good with math and also with details, so she worked on breaking down our budget to calculate how much each meal costs and then worked with Cook Z and the food rep to find the most cost effective foods to order.

We should be in great shape except that despite all of this, Cook Z is not good with detail, forgets things, gets SUPER anxious about EVERYTHING, can't manage her time and doesn't seem to have the "with-it" quality that competent people have to learn something and then use it.


'A' is picking up the slack and doing a lot of work with ordering. Assistant Cook V is SUPER competent, calm, easy going and is picking up MOST of the slack by doing all of the prep work, keeping Z calm and really doing most of the work. I don't want to fire Z because it will leave just V alone, so I am hoping that Z can calm down and get into the swing of things in the next few weeks. All of the meals have been on time, kids have had enough to eat and they are enjoying the meals, so I can't complain. I'm giving her some time- it is only the second week after all.

Progress

What a good day!

Before the trailer can be brought to camp, I need to get a permit from the county. It was a long application and I wasn't sure if it was entirely complete, but I finished it and was ready to put it in the mail and hope for the best. When I called the county, they told me it would be at least 2 weeks before an inspector could come out and issue the permit. I was hoping it would be sooner and I started worrying that if the application was in the mail, it would take even longer for it to get processed.

So I decided to drive 45 minutes to the courthouse and drop it off. I'm not a cool person who knows how to sweet talk or charm people, but I was hoping if I dropped it off, at least I could ask some questions and maybe get it to the person in charge quicker than the mail.

I am so glad I decided to make the drive! When I arrived, the man at the window said, "2 weeks or more, no exceptions" and when I said, "it's sort of an emergency" he said, "every application is". I didn't think I was going to get very far, but then the inspector who conducted the visit to the kitchen last week walked in and said hello to me by name. He was happy to hear my whole story and the other guy got a lot more helpful as well.

I ended up being there for over an hour. They pulled up zoning maps, gave me tons of information, helped me fill out the application so it was more complete, checked the inspector's schedule (and told me he could be out by next Wednesday) and even let me know that if the trailer was already there when the inspector arrived, we might have to move it if it isn't in the right place, but we wouldn't get fined (so basically a "go-ahead" with the project).

When it was time to pay the fee for the permit, they gave me the private resident fee, rather than the commercial fee (which I was supposed to pay since camp is a business).

I still haven't gotten this approved by the board, but this afternoon, I emailed Board President J to ask him if he would be willing to come up and look at the trailer and he agreed, so on Saturday, we are going to look at the trailer. I am not letting myself get excited yet, but I am making progress!

Water

The county website says that there are no swimming restrictions for the lake. So I was a little surprised when Pollution Control came out to sample the lake today. I asked if they'd already been out and they said no. When I asked about the county website, he said, "it hasn't been tested, I wouldn't swim in the lake." Since we've been taking kids on the pontoon and letting them jump into the middle of the lake to swim (with life jackets of course), I was concerned that perhaps I had the wrong information.

When I called the county, I found out that "no swimming restrictions" doesn't mean that the water is ok (which was my assumption), it means that they don't know of any issues (because it hasn't been tested). Not only did I feel as though I'd been mislead, the woman on the phone was rude about it. I was LIVID. I was fuming mad. I was ready for a fight. When I asked to speak with someone else, she transfered me to the sheriff's voicemail where I left a VERY angry message that ended with, "please call me back as soon as possible. In the meantime, I will be directing parents of sick kids directly to you."

I have been personally assuring parents of the safety and citing the county website. I was SO mad, not to mention concerned about the safety of our kids and staff.

The sheriff called me back within the hour and I have to give him huge credit- his customer service skills are terrific. He let me explain my concern and listened to my outrage and then he very patiently, very calmly, very kindly responded. He has a lot of crabby people to deal with but he didn't lose his temper. He assured me that the middle of the lake is fine and listened to my suggestion to change the wording on the website.

After the call, I wrote him a thank you note because I appreciate what it is like to deal with a bunch of angry people about something you have little or no control over. He is doing a great job.

On another note about water- my house and the health center have water again! It took the plumber and electrician all day. They had to dig a ten feet deep trench from one house to the other and it was quite a mess. I was worried that something unforeseen would delay water even longer, but it was pretty straightforward and I am back to living like a normal person. I am already slightly annoyed at my new living situation. M&M are fine roommates, I just need soe quiet time to recharge and having them live here is an adjustment. Also, having the break area on my porch makes it feel like I'm living in a fishbowl because they can see in my house and can watch everything I do. It's awkward to cook or sit on my couch knowing I'm being watched, but overall, the whole situation is working out ok.

Hot and Crabby

Today was hot. Really hot and humid and disgusting. Being on the lake provides a nice breeze and keeps the temperature pretty mild for most of the summer, but that was not the case today.

I was crabby all day and I kept asking myself, "is something going wrong at camp or is someone doing something wrong?" and the answer was no. I tried to stay in the office as much as possible because it wasn't anyone's fault that I was crabby. I was just hot and there still isn't water in my house or the health center and we don't have a beach because it is still flooded.

I want camp to be perfect... okay, well, perfect doesn't exist, but I was unhappy that kids couldn't swim and that everything isn't exactly the way it should be. That being said, instead of swimming, kids were able to sign up for water games on the field and they LOVED it, so I don't think they were as bothered by the situation as I was.

I am hoping that tomorrow is cooler and I stop being so crabby.

Finished Cleaning... Sorta

Yesterday was a low point for me during this clean up week. Despite an incredible amount of hard work and enthusiasm from my staff and much of camp looking significantly better, I was still feeling discouraged. 


The process of getting the permits, the moving company and everything I need to move the trailer has been much more complicated than I'd expected. I spoke with two of the board members who were both less than enthusiastic about my trailer home idea. I spent the day trying to accept the fact that I'm going to have to share my house and that there isn't an easy solution to anything that is wrong with camp right now.


X and I went to the flood relief center. We got some clean up kits, snacks, water and gatorade (thank you FEMA) and I put my name on a list for people who need clean up help. The county called me about an hour after I was at the flood relief center and I am hopeful that someone can come out and help clean up the Stone House. 


In the afternoon, the staff moved all of the furniture out of the Stone House and into the Rec Hall. The Rec Hall is in the center of camp and not exactly the ideal place to spend their break, but it's the best option for now. My original plan was to use my house, but since I haven't had water for 3 days, I'm not exactly ready to open it up to everyone. 


Did I mention I don't have water? Unfortunately, years ago, someone connected my house, the stone house and the health center water together. So when the Stone House flooded and the pressure tank tipped over, not only did Stone House lose water, but so did the other two buildings. I am incredibly frustrated, but the plumber thinks he can run new lines by Tuesday, so I just have to hang on until that time. 


The morning was beautiful weather, but right around the time we started moving, the heavens opened up and it poured on and off. The staff were amazingly hard working and positive, despite the rain. X did my dishes by heating bowls of water in the microwave and I just sort of anxiously bounced between different areas, unsure what to do with myself. It's been a productive week, but I still feel a little discouraged. I am hoping that I'm just tired and once I get some rest, I will feel excited for the campers to return on Sunday. 

Trailer House

Leave it to best friends to have the best ideas.

With the Stone House un-usable, X did some searching on Craigslist and found two trailer houses for sale. Actually, one of the trailers was free and one was listed at $3000. We emailed both to ask if we could come and see them. The free one was already spoken for, but yesterday, we went to see the other one. It was only  40 miles away, and I needed a break from camp anyway.

When M & M heard our plan, they were skeptical. They thought it sounded really trashy and were afraid it would be terrible. I was a little leery as well, but figured it wouldn't hurt to look. The trailer happened to be at summer camp. It used to be the property manager's house. It was in great condition, clean, bigger than I'd expected and possibly even nicer than the Stone House had been before it flooded. There is a lot of open space for staff to hang out and I was thrilled. 

I wasn't sure what the board would say, but I told him I would take it and X and I headed back to camp to google a moving company that could bring it to camp. Finding a company to dis-assemble, transport and re-assemble it was tougher than I'd expected and it cost about the same amount to move it as it will be to purchase it. It will also require permits and paperwork and it's not quite as simple as I'd hoped. I still think it is a good plan and between yesterday afternoon and today, I've learned a ton of information about trailer homes.

I am hopeful that we can get it to camp before the end of the summer. I am not excited to have roommates and for the staff to use my house as a break area. I am an introvert and I need a lot of quiet time to re-charge. I don't take breaks like the staff get, so at the end of the night, in the hour or so before I go to bed, I want my house to be quiet. It's only 6 weeks until the end of camp and I can make it, but I am so hopeful  this trailer will work out.

Mold

The Stone House has been a problem building for years now. It needs a new roof, the basement is always moist and it's in bad shape. It's about 5 feet off the shore of the lake and when it flooded, the basement filled up with water. I knew that once we pumped the water out that the house would need a lot of work, but I had no idea what to expect.

Yesterday, Property Manager T got almost all of the water out and we started pulling the furniture out of the basement. The walls were covered in black mold. We kicked holes in a few places to see inside the walls and the mold was thick inside the walls as well.

I know mold is really bad, but I was optimistic that if we pulled out all of the sheet rock and insulation and got down just to the beams holding up the walls, we could clean up the basement. The upstairs of the house has 3 bedrooms for lead staff and it is the area that all staff go to hang out on their breaks and on the weekends. It is an important building that we can't use until the basement is fixed.

Last night, I couldn't sleep. I was up from 3-5am, stressing out about camp, all of the work that is still left to do and I couldn't stop thinking about the moldy basement. It occurred to me (as most ah ha moments come at 3am) that putting staff in that building for any period of time is dangerous and that clean up needs to be done by professionals, not 20 year olds. Even Property Manager T shouldn't be down there. I googled photos of people in white suits with masks on- the rooms they were in weren't as bad as the basement we'd been in with nothing on. What was I thinking putting people in a place with that much mold? 


So today I told T to leave it be until we figured out a better plan. We put up caution tape across the doors and we'll get to it when I figure out what to do. 


In the mean time, M and M don't have a place to live and there is no where for staff to go during their breaks. With only 2 hours off per day (the rest of it with kids), break time is very important to staff. They need a quiet place to go to get away from camp, check their email, and refresh themselves. I have no idea where I am going to put them now and I am super stressed out about it. 

Cleaning Up

Staff arrived yesterday and today and we've begun cleaning up camp. Even since I got back to camp on Monday, the water has receded and it looks better each day. The beach and archery range are still flooded and around the chapel is pretty muddy and the ground is squishy. The fire circle is a mess, but most of the water is gone.

Property Manager T has been pumping the water off of the grounds and will start the Stone House basement next. I was shocked by how quickly the projects on the to-do list got checked off today. With many hands, the jobs are easier and go more quickly than I plan.

In addition to re-organizing everything we moved in case of the flood, staff have been re-creating areas that we don't have access to. The archery/slingshot/tomahawk range are now on the field and the canoes, life jackets and paddles are up on shore, near the boating bay. Staff are also re-painting some areas around camp to make it look fresh and bright. My best friend X is visiting this week and she has been planting flowers in pots around camp to replace the ones that drown when the rains poured down. 


I am feeling confident and optimistic about the condition of camp. I think we will be ready for campers on Sunday!

A Week in the City

I’ve had a week of errands, relaxing, eating good food, hanging out with my boyfriend and enjoying my time away from camp. On 4^th of July, I had a BBQ for several good friends. The weather has been RIDICULOUSLY hot (100 degrees) and so the BBQ actually turned into an indoor event and I made sloppy joes instead. This was the first year we were going to run camp over 4^th of July and we had great programming planned. As I sat in my house in the city, surrounded by friends, it felt a little bittersweet. I was happy to be with everyone I love, but I was supposed to be with a bunch of crazy kids, grilling out, playing games and having a really cool day at camp. A few cocktails later and I wasn’t thinking about camp anymore, so the day turned out ok.

On Thursday I spent the day with my best friend. We went shopping, saw a movie, ate good food and chatted. It was wonderful.

I have a few days left at home before I return to soggy camp. I have talked to Property Manager T a few times. It has rained several times and the archery field is worse than when I left. It’s going to be messy, smelly and disgusting when I return. It sounds like the lake is still receding, despite the rain, so maybe it will be better than I’m imagining.

I am nervous about what is waiting for me. I am trying not to get ahead of myself or worry or let the dread ruin my last days at home. I am planning on running camp on July 15 even though there will be standing water around camp and we will have to rope it off and move some of our programming. I think it will still be a great week and I hope no one is upset about the condition of camp. I’m trying not to think about it though- I still have a nice weekend ahead.

Back to the City

I’m out of the flooded woods and home to the city. It was not an easy trip.

Because the road to camp is covered in 15 inches of water (at the shallowest point, deeper along the edges of the road), driving a car or truck through it is not possible. Last Friday, when we first heard about the flood, we parked the camp van about a mile away on the other side of the road. We’ve been walking through the water and up the mile long huge hill to use the van to go into town this week so we haven’t been completely stranded on this camp island.

We all packed the least amount of stuff we needed for the week and loaded everything into a kayak, which we walked across the water and then loaded into the van. It took three trips. I also have two fat bulldogs who are too short to walk through that much water, so they were the last kayak load.

It was unbearably hot while we did all of this and besides just being uncomfortable and sweaty, I was super anxious about my dogs who have very low heat tolerance. The van doesn’t have air conditioning but I thought that once we were driving and the wind was blowing through the windows, it would be okay.

I was wrong. After about 30 minutes of anxious, distracted driving, I asked A to drive for me and I sat in the seat with the dogs. I continuously squirted water into their mouths while also rubbing a bag of ice on Griffin. I have terrible motion sickness but had taken a pill as soon as I switched from driving, and while it helped, I was still carsick, kind of woozy from the medication and my shorts were soaking wet from the water and the ice. And I was still SUPER anxious about the dogs being okay.

It was a miserable drive, but A, M and I made it to my house eventually and cranked the air conditioning so that it was refrigerator temperature quickly. M and A got picked up today to head back to Iowa for the week. They have been SUCH amazing help and emotional support this whole time, so while I was excited to be home and have a week of relaxing and hanging out with my boyfriend and friends, I was also sort of sad to see them go. I am an introvert and need plenty of alone time to re-charge, but at camp, I get used to being surrounded by people constantly and usually have a week of being sad when camp ends in the fall as I re-adjust to normal life.

With only a week off, it’s not really an adjustment and I am happy to be home. I spent today running errands- dropping the water samples off at the health department so they could be tested, going to Whole Foods, Trader Joes and Target, running on my treadmill and tonight will make dinner for my boyfriend and I. It’s such a weird feeling to be home, but I am enjoying it so far…

Crest

The water crested yesterday which means that it’s done rising and now it can start to recede. The basement of the stonehouse (which is where the staff live) has 5 feet of water in it. The sump pump stopped working and no one could reach us to fix it. Within a few hours there was a foot of water in the basement and it rose from there. I’m not sure if that house will survive this whole ordeal.

But Indian Point Lodge, which is at the center of camp and was built in 1923 didn’t flood like I feared. If the water had been an inch higher, it would have gone over the floor, but we got lucky.

The whole camp smells like dead fish and swamp. It’s disgusting and you get wet any time you walk anywhere. I’m sick of being sandy and damp and dirty and bored. I’m so thankful that the water didn’t go any higher and that it is done rising, and now I’m ready for a break. The momentum is usually there from a steady flow of activity, kids, and work is gone. I am tired and crabby. I know that when everyone gets back to camp and there is a long to do list, I will regain the energy that I lost, but for now, I’m headed to the city.