Demotion?

First weekend complete. I consider that as much of a success as completing the first week of camp. The weekend is not a relaxing time for me- sometimes it is, but with twenty 19-22 year olds running around, enjoying their first freedom after a week, my job never ends.

Counselor J was hired as the Head Female Counselor/ Ministry Specialist. Counselor J is anxious and awkward, but very focused on whatever job she is given, organized and has a strong desire to succeed. Some of the staff were surprised by my choice because she is not the most popular staff member and she's a bit socially awkward. But jobs are not popularity contests and more often than not (people are generally really predicable), when you give someone a leadership role, they will rise to the occasion.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen in her case. Counselor J is a great counselor, a strong leader and really great at what she does when she is doing any of those things. But the minute she thinks about it, or feels like she is being watched, she gets so self conscious that it is literally painful to watch as she struggles and nearly collapses under the pressure.

Ministry was BAD this week. Staff and kids were complaining and while I care very much about each individual staff member and their development and growth, ultimately, if my program is suffering and we aren't putting out a quality product, something has to change. I planned to talk to her about it, basically taking away all of her responsibilities, but between the rain, her being sick and having to go to the doctor and be in the health center and just the craziness of the week, I didn't have an opportunity. And because I wanted to replace her with a "ministry team" (made up of several staff), I had to announce it at the meeting. I felt really terrible about the way I had to handle it, but there wasn't any other way.

So 5 minutes after the meeting, as Nurse J, PDS, PDP, APDA and I readied ourselves to go out for a celebratory margarita, I had to stop and have a conversation with HYSTERICAL Counselor J. She was so upset and I tried to talk it out with her, but she was too upset to talk. I told her to think about it for a while and we could talk later in the weekend.

We talked the next day and she had calmed down a lot. She was still upset and felt like she should quit. But after about an hour of talking, during which I explained that I still valued her and wanted to work with her, but that the pressure had been too much and I was actually worried about her, she was able to understand why I'd made that decision. She agreed to give it some time and see how the change goes. And by the end, she was smiling and happy and I am hopeful that it will be for the best.

I care very much about my staff and it is difficult to make tough decisions sometimes. I try very hard to keep the best interest of camp as my motivation in every decision, followed closely by the best interest of the staff. They don't always match up, but I am always hopeful that I do the right thing.