Canoe Trip

Success!

On Tuesday morning, after we announced the canoe trip the night before, we took a trip around the island to practice canoeing. It took us about an hour- it was sunny, calm, and a perfect day. We paired people up- strong canoers and more nervous people. Several people looked nervous when we began, but by the end, everyone was looking much more confident and feeling more excited.

When we woke up to rain yesterday morning, I was not feeling excited at all. We'd said "rain or shine" but I'm a wimp about these things, so I wasn't sure how it would be. But it wasn't storming, the water was calm, and despite the constant drizzle, it wasn't terribly cold, so we spent the morning packing tents, food, sleeping bags and clothes (bagging much of it in garbage bags to keep it dry).

After lunch, we gave everyone 10 minutes for final preparation and told them to meet us in the boating bay for departure. It was at that point that utter and complete panic overtook me and I couldn't breathe and I had to fight back the tears as I walked across the field (bursting into tears when I arrived at my front door). It wasn't that I was nervous about the canoe trip (although I was a little nervous for that too). My dad leaves camp (for his trip to Alaska) today. He and I have been fighting about this trip since he was in the hospital. He is still healing and definitely not back to full strength. I didn't think it was a good idea.

A few days ago we had a really emotional conversation where we both cried (and my mountain man, grizzly adams dad doesn't cry- EVER) as he explained that he needed to go back one more time. His health is going to continue to go downhill and he needs to go back while he still can. He said he would take it easy and promised he wasn't going there to die.

But as my staff packed the canoes, all I could think was, "this might be the last time I see my dad" and I was having a hard time directing staff (who were nervous about the adventure), in the rain, while my dad stood by and watched.

As they took one last bathroom break, my dad and I walked off to the side where I burst into tears. He and I stood hugging, both of us crying (me hysterical) and he promised not to die and told me he would be back soon. I didn't want my staff to see me cry and I knew I needed to focus on the major task ahead, but I felt like I was going to throw up.

I managed to get myself together, say goodbye and then, with all of the effort in the world, say in a confident, excited voice, "okay! let's head out!"

Paddling took MUCH less time than we'd estimated. The rain stopped about an hour into the trip and there was little wind to begin with, and when we'd initially planned, it was the worst case scenario, so we'd over-estimated the amount of time. So about an hour and half into the trip, we'd crossed the lake (which was, according to the map, halfway through our journey) and I pleasantly surprised but also sort of confused because we were going so fast. By that time, everyone was feeling much more confident, had found their paddling rhythm and there was a lot of joking, talking, singing and we were all really enjoying ourselves. I actually had to pause paddling several times because I was laughing so hard. It was a great improvement over the crying from earlier.

We arrived to the camp site in just under 2.5 hours. I was relieved, happy and proud of everyone. We set up camp, cooked dinner, played games around the fire, ate s'mores and had a fabulous night. Sleeping on the ground after a long day of paddling was a little rough- I woke up to the sound of APDA whimpering around 1am. I gave her advil and she managed to fall back asleep for a while. There was a very loud owl, and then a howling coyote as well, but overall, it wasn't a bad night of sleep.

We woke up the next day, ate breakfast, packed up and headed back to camp. We didn't have any rain or wind on the way back. We were really tired by the time we made it back to camp, but everyone was just bursting with pride and the camaraderie was incredible. We unpacked, ate lunch and then had the whole afternoon to nap and relax.

After dinner, we did a de-brief and staff shared highs, lows, etc. It was a little scary to hear all of them talk about how much confidence and trust they'd had in us, considering just how much doubt I'd had. But they accomplished a major feat because we said they could do it. I was very proud of them.

I'd told them before we left that the canoe trip was a metaphor for the summer- there will be times they are too tired, frustrated, annoyed and don't feel like they can go on. They will need to rely on each other and find strength from within to persevere instead of give up. It's a great lesson to learn. I was really happy we went through with it. If this trip is any indication, it is going to be a great summer.