I Might Get Violent

Dear Board Members-

Can we be real for a minute? I'm sick of smiling and playing nice-y nice. I'm not interested in telling your positive things about this run down crap hole camp you expect me to magically revive with little money or support. If my dad wasn't by my side, I would be out the door. So thank him next time you see him. Or don't, because here's how I really feel about you:

I think you are all idiots. You have let this place fall into financial ruin for years and you don't seem to have a plan or even much of a desire to change that. For being Investment Bankers and Vice Presidents of companies, you are idiots. Considering the state of the economy today, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I am 26, I have a degree in political science, and I routinely spend my money on bubble gum and hair scrunchies, but I can say, with great confidence, that I have done more for this organization's finances since October than any of you have done for YEARS. Sometimes that makes me proud, but mostly it makes me crabby, because it's clearly not rocket science... hello?! DON'T SPEND WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE. MAKE DUE WITH LESS. PAY ATTENTION. Hey Mr. Fancypants Vice President, do you want me to come to your bank and fix that too? Oh, and PS, the main job of the board is to fundraise, and you SUCK at that. Mostly because NONE of you put ANY effort into it. That's the other reason this suck-hole is in debt. Get off your asses and talk to some of your rich friends.

Also, you know how we're, like, a business? We should run like one. We should have some policies and procedures and... wait, we DO have those things! Yeah, as it turns out, on paper, we look like a well run, organized business. You know what would be a good idea? FOLLOWING the policies! We don't allow alcohol at camp because it's not a good idea with a big group of random people. And just because you're a board member, doesn't mean we should bend that rule when you're there. And when you tell me I'm out of line and then pout, it makes me want to kick you, instead of being calm and reasonable. I'm 26, you're 56 and have kids my age. Why am I explaining basic concepts like this to you? And you other board member, yeah, your three kids don't get to come to camp for free. $1215 may not seem like a lot, but keep in mind, in December we didn't have any money in the checking account and had to use money we'd raised for a capital campaign to cover payroll. So $1215 is significant when we're talking about a camp that sucks.

And for you, dear board member who called me today to let me know that you wanted a free week to give to your church's auction and when I said, "sorry, we have a policy that says we only give out 5 free weeks per year and only to churches that support us, and that church hasn't donated any money, and won't let us give a recruiting presentation" and you said, "I'm a board member, I wasn't asking for permission, I was telling you to have a certificate ready for me." I have no words. None. Because there's really no argument to that. I see how it is.

You all want me to talk about the budget and answer questions about why it's off. Again, I'm not like an expert in finances or anything, but I think the reason we suck is because of YOU! And I'm not sure why I work longer and longer hours, and put all of my energy and passion and commitment into a camp that is going no where. I must be an idiot. Because I really do believe I can turn this place around, and make us successful. I have short term goals and long term goals and I envision what we will be 10, 20, even 30 years from now. And I'm crazy enough to imagine myself here for all of it. And even when it's frustrating or there are challenges, I persevere, because I love and believe in this camp. But today, my mind is one long swear word, interrupted by visions of violence. Uh huh, I said it. Violence. As in, me kicking you in the face. All of you. Because you're idiots and I can't deal with it.

So here's the deal- I declare war. On you. Me versus you, to the death. Okay, not death, but until one of us quits. But just be clear, I think it should be you. Because you're a volunteer. Don't get me wrong, I love volunteers, I honor volunteers. But you come to a 2 hours meeting once per month (that is when you actually show up) and spout off your opinion and then do nothing until the next month. I, on the other hand, spend all day, every day, nights, weekends, even in my dreams, thinking about and planning for camp. So I think I should win this battle. And when I do, I will replace you with board members that know how to fundraise, want to be involved, who know and follow the policies and who would never, ever have the nerve to say, "I think it's a good policy, but not in this situation."

So here we go friends, you're gonna be sorry you started this.