Just A Camp Director

Campers are not allowed to have electronic devices at camp. We have this rule because things get broken, lost or sometimes disappear when you have a group of kids together. The best solution is prevention. Each week we have a volunteer nurse. Licensed nurses can sign up to volunteer and in return, they get a free week of camp for one child. This week, our nurse was T and her son brought his iPod with him. His counselor didn't take it from him when he found out about it, which was a mistake, but also, T didn't take it from him either. Tuesday, the iPod disappeared. Not shocking, if I'm being honest. We have great kids here at camp, but even great kids, who know the rules and right from wrong sometimes make mistakes. It's all part of being a kid.

The counselor talked to the group about it and even went through everyone's things. It was done in a respectful way. He let the kids know that sometimes things get lost and fall into other people's things. Searching through personal belongings is a fairly drastic act, but I think it was handled well.

The iPod didn't show up. We asked the whole camp to look for it, and eventually, one of the older girls came to let me know a camper (one of the three that I'd had trouble with and then won over) had asked her how he would charge it.

So I took him aside and talked about the importance of honesty and respect and that if he "found it" when he was packing, it would be really great and no questions would be asked. I wasn't going to yell at him or threaten him or accuse him. He's not a criminal, he's a nine year old kid. And while he was a pretty good suspect, I also didn't have any proof. I knew that if I planted the seed, he would eventually decide to make the right choice. And if he didn't, he would eventually think about the situation and I firmly believe, he would learn from it and be affected. Also, the kid who lost the iPod will learn an important lesson about responsibility and following the rules. A difficult lesson? Of course, but that's the way life is. Sometimes bad things happen to us, and we have to deal with it.

Later, the counselor had another talk with the campers and laid it on pretty thick about how police can be involved and it's expensive and awful, etc. Late in the evening, I had a knock at the door, and the suspected child seemed to think someone might have "framed" his sister (the kid I drove home the day before) and he was really worried about her. I told him I appreciated his concern and that he made a good choice in talking to us about it. See, kids eventually get to the right choice. The nuns in charge of sending this group of kids were supportive and plan to work with the family and try to recover the iPod. It's not back yet, but it's the best I can do. Also, I think the kids involved learned a good lesson.

This was not a satisfactory answer to the nurse. She went from being the biggest cheerleader of this camp to a full on witch like I've never experienced. She started out politely suggesting that I give her the names of all of the kids who'd been accused of possibly taking the iPod and she could call her friend, the chief of police of a big city, and he could go to all of their homes and investigate... No, I am not kidding about that... I politely let her know I couldn't provide any personal information about our campers to her. I also reminded her that the only evidence we had were a few random "um, I think maybe's" from a nine year old boy.

She then went on to suggest we call the police in this town and have them search all of the kids at camp... No, I am not kidding... I politely let her know that was not an option I would consider. And that was the point that she got HOSTILE and let me know that I am "just a Camp Director" and she didn't think I was handling the situation in a satisfactory way. Just a Camp Director, huh? I told her I was sorry she felt that way, but it was my job to protect the campers, all campers, and that I didn't think they would really respond well to having a police officer search their belongings. Also, because they are KIDS, I didn't think the parents would respond well to their children being searched without them.

At that point, she calmed down slightly and, genuinely surprised, said, "oh, I guess I didn't think of it that way." I said, "I know I am just a Camp Director, but I do know what I am doing, and that my job is the safety of campers. And if you could just step back for a second and think of this from the perspective of one of the parents who I would have to send out a letter explaining how their kids had been searched by an officer, and how mad you would be." What I didn't add to my calm, patient explanation, was "I've been working with kids longer than you've been a parent, and I'm going to attack you in about 3 seconds if you don't back off. JUST A CAMP DIRECTOR! I am single handedly running this camp and I'm doing a DAMN GOOD JOB. And I'm sorry your spoiled rotten, overindulged kid got his iPod stolen, but too bad. I bet he'll be more responsible later. And meanwhile, you are not going to frighten and threaten any of these kids, regardless if they did it or not, because I might JUST BE A CAMP DIRECTOR, but I know enough to take care of the kids I am responsible for."

I don't know if I have ever felt more insulted, or more appalled by a suggestion than I was during that conversation. But I'm still mad as I type this.

In the end of the conversation, she decided to file a police report for insurance purposes. Fine. The one officer in Small Town was unable to come out last night at 11pm when she called him. He agreed to come out early this morning, before parents came for parent day. Fine.

So this morning I met with the officer and let him know that a kid and his sister had been accused and possibly done it, but I didn't have any proof, so there wasn't much I was going to do about it. He asked me for a few details, including their ages, and when I told him 9 and 7, he smiled slightly and said, "Oh, um, I thought we were dealing with teenagers. I can't do anything if they are under 10." Duh. He was going to have to handcuff me to get to those kids anyway, so thank goodness.

That was the point that this situation turned from insulting and unpleasant, to so absolutely ugly.

"In 40 years of working in public health, I've learned about people, and these are the kind of kids who are bad. They steal, they are going to end up in prison. Have you heard them talking? They are from bad families. They misbehave so badly they shouldn't even be here." -Nurse

"Some of these kids come from different backgrounds, and some had some behavior issues, but I believe I addressed them this week. They were all listening and following directions by the end of the week. All kids make mistakes and steal, I'm not justifying it, but it's my job, working with kids, to be patient as they learn right and wrong and help them learn to make good choices. I have done everything in my power to find the stolen iPod, while not causing harm to the kids involved. Even if he stole it, I'm not going to scream at him or scare him or hurt him. He's nine. He's a little kid who made a mistake. And at this point, I don't even know if he stole it, so I'm really not going to go after him without any proof. Can you imagine how damaging that would be to a kid? It will not help him learn, or make better choices. I have to give him the benefit of the doubt, rather than just assuming he's bad because of the neighborhood he's from." -Me

"Oh come on. You're trying to make this officer think everything is perfectly fine. These kids are riff raff. They are trash. They come from bad families. And he clearly stole it." -Nurse

"riff raff"

That's what she said. "Riff raff". We are talking about a NINE YEAR OLD CHILD. Nine. Years. Old. Yes, he had some trouble listening. So does every kid. But he changed his behavior. And he was a sweet, wonderful child who needed someone to be patient with him and take care of him while he was away from his mom, 3 hours away from home, in the woods, tired, homesick, and learning to make good choices. And he might have taken it, and while that is wrong, when you are nine, and something really nice that you don't have is laying around, it is tempting to grab it, so I can understand how it happened.

Riff raff...

At this point, in my head, I lunged over the table, around the officer, and attacked this woman who just insulted a nine year old because of the color of his skin. HOW DARE SHE????? Insult me, fine, you think I'm just a camp director. She was old enough to be my mom, I can deal with not being taken seriously. But this camp was originally started to serve inner city youth. And while that may not be our primary focus anymore, our focus is still, 100% all children, regardless of the color of their skin, or their neighborhood, or anything else. Because kids are kids. Kids need to be loved and cared for and given patience as the grow. All kids, even spoiled, bratty rich kids who leave their iPods laying around. All kids. She's a parent. Shoudn't she have some sense of empathy towards kids who make mistakes? Shouldn't she understand they need to be treated kindly while being taught appropriate choices?

Instead of beating her up and being dragged off in handcuffs (I had way too much to do to make time for that), I whispered, "perhaps your children need to find a camp with a different population of children."

To which she replied, "and different leadership."

To which I replied to the officer, "Is there anything more you need from me? I have given you all of the information I have and I need to get back to my job."

We all walked out of the room and I politely let her know that her son could stay for the closing program, but she was not to have any contact with children or adults at this camp. She sat on the steps of my house for the next two hours until she left.

She is everything that is wrong with society. I am so mad I could cry. I don't understand how people can be like that. I just don't get it.