Duck

I was working hard in my office this morning.

I heard a rustling sound from the other room.

I ignored it, assuming it was the wind.

And then I heard, thwap, thwap, thwap...

I stood up and went to investigate.

Big DUCK.

Hmmm, not sure how it got inside, as all of the doors are closed, but okay, I have a duck in my office..... AHHHHH, I have a duck in my office!

I RAN outside, hopped on the golfcart, rushed to the archery range, let my dad know we had a duck emergency on our hands and we zoomed back to the office. He safely guided the duck to the side door.

Duck emergency over.

Care

It's so funny how things work out sometimes...

It's been a very productive two weeks, and I am so happy with the way things are at camp, but I am EXHAUSTED. Physically, emotionally and every other way, I am DRAINED. And today it is raining, which always has a strong affect on me. I am very ready to go home, but I still have a lot of stuff to finish up today and tomorrow. And then I spoke with my boss, which put me in a worse mood.

For the record, I adore my boss. He's part of the reason I took the job. I clicked with him immediately and I knew I would like working for him. I have met his wife and babysat his kids and I feel like he will be the kind of person with whom I will be lifelong friends, past working together. But sometimes, I want to shake him by the shoulders and maybe even poke him in the eye.

Sometimes my boss says things like, "okay, I'm going to come back and get that dock put in next week." And then follows up a week later with, "why don't you and the girls go ahead and put that dock in." Um, because I have like, a million things to do and I thought you said you were going to do it. And because I've never put the dock in, so while, yes, I'm sure it is very simple to do, why don't you come out and show me how easy it is by putting it in and I'll help you. I didn't say that though. I said, "okay, I'll get it done." Which is probably why he trusts me and counts on me. I think if I were a little less tired or if I had seen the sun at all today, I wouldn't have gotten off the phone and wanted to push him down in a mud puddle. But, like I said before, I was already crabby. So I sat in my office and thought about telling my boss where he could put the dock, and then the UPS truck came.

We often get notes from UPS or the post office letting us know we have a package that needs to get picked up because they "missed us". There are a lot of buildings at camp, so I'm sure it is difficult to figure out where we are. But it's annoying anyway. So I went running out into the rain to the UPS truck, hoping to catch the guy before he left me another note. And yes, that made me even crabbier. But, the UPS guy had brought me a FABULOUS TREASURE! First of all the box smelled amazing. And then I opened it up and inside there was candy and a pink beach towel and the most wonderful smelling candles I have ever smelled and lots of other random fun stuff. One of my mom's good friends and her daughter had sent me a care package! I didn't know Camp Directors got care packages. And you know what the cheesiest part about the whole thing is? I genuinely felt cared about. The care package wasn't just a novelty that i looked through and tossed aside. It brightened my day so much and really did put me back into a good mood. I remembered how much I love this camp and why I'm here and that every rainy day and extra thing on my "to do" list is just part of life. I know I have a lot of people that care about me, but it was so touching that they would do such a nice thing. Yes, I am very cared for and yes, I will try to remember that the next time I get crabby.

Time is Flying!

The girls and I have continued to work steadily, getting a lot done and making me feel more and more ready for camp by the day. My mom came to camp over the weekend and was overwhelmed by the size and impressed that it is a "real camp camp". I am really glad she got to come and see this place that has become my life. And now my dad is here as a handyman for the next few weeks, building shelves and fixing things that have been broken for longer than they should have been. I am thrilled to have him here because he can do almost anything you can imagine. It's been a fabulous few weeks, but absolutely a blur.

Camp has become home and I feel very comfortable here. I still miss St. Paul, my roommates, my friends, tv, restaurants, Target and all of the "normal" stuff. But waking up at the edge of the lake, evening sunsets and the quiet peace all around is becoming more "normal" each day.

I can't believe it, but next week, the rest of the staff arrive. The international staff are flying in on Thursday and training will begin on Saturday! I am very excited for everything to begin but also AMAZED at how fast the time has gone! I suppose that is a good thing...

Camp Life

I left my beloved St. Paul for the woods of Small Town USA. But I'm adjusting.

No TV for 4 months. Fine, I'll tivo everything at home and watch in September.

No pizza or chinese delivery, no coffee shops on every corner, no Target, no Sunday morning roommate breakfasts, no hanging out with my friends. But that will all be there when I get back.

I can handle all of that.... Giant spiders that interrupt my peaceful lunch, ugh, that will take some getting used to...

The Highs and Lows of Camp Life

It's been a VERY productive week. The girls and I have worked at a pace that I didn't even know was possible. We have moved every piece of furniture, swept every floor (twice), scrubbed, vacuumed, and organized. I have gone to bed each night feeling happy with the progress, excited for the weeks ahead and although physically tired, absolutely energized by the work.

But today I am feeling drained. Maybe I overdid it yesterday, or maybe it's just been a long week of physical labor for someone used to sitting in an office, but today I woke up feeling like I got hit by a train. And emotionally, I'm feeling drained too. I've always wanted to work at a big camp that had lots of wonderfully old, rustic buildings that I could use for any kind of programming I could dream up. And now I do, and on a daily basis, I am charmed and swept into the magic of this place that has provided so much to so many over the years. I am honored to join in that history and tradition and eager to play a role in the future. But the amount of what needs to be done here is OVERWHELMING. The main buildings are ready to go, but there are little buildings all over this property that I've never even been in, and each time I open one, I find a whole new list of tasks that need to be added to the "to do". It is DAUNTING.

And unfortunately, our enrollment numbers are still low and so every time I duck into the office to take refuge from the crushing needs around me, I find a new email from my boss, letting me know more staff need to be cut, weeks need to be cut and "budget meetings didn't go well". I have made this place my home, thrown all of my physical and emotional energy into making it as quality as possible, so hearing news like this is crushing. I'm trying to remain focused on the projects in front of me and working hard regardless of what the numbers say. But I want to crawl back into bed today.

Just Another Day at the Office

This has been an intense week so far. We have gotten so much accomplished and by the end of the week, we think we will have all of the physical stuff (cleaning, moving, organizing, etc) done. But in the meantime, we are putting in HARD work.

I started the day off driving into town to drop the chainsaws off, to be sharpened at Willy's. So far, every male I have met in the town has been named Willy... Must be a small town thing... I don't know. After that, I came back to my office and spent a very long hour, setting up our wireless router and getting the internet to work. When camp was built in 1947, I don't think they anticipated the technological needs 60 years in the future, so today required some creativity. In the end, my computer is not sitting where I wanted it, but it's fine.

After getting the offices in good shape, I spent the rest of the day, as in, 6 full hours, moving furniture, scrubbing floors, dusting, and re-organizing the rest of the building. Camp has managed to accumulate a LOT of spare furniture, which isn't actually useful because there's so much of it and it just takes up space. So I am CLEANING house, and getting rid of the excess. It was HARD, heavy work, and also REALLY dirty, since everything has been sitting for months, well, probably years if we're being honest, and is covered in a solid layer of dirt. Maybe that's part of the camp charm, the grime and dust and how you're always a little bit dirty, without being sure exactly how it happened. But I'm trying my best to make it a little less dirty, maybe even somewhat clean.

The girls worked REALLY hard moving all of the outdoor furniture that sits around camp, as well as all of the archery equipment, several rogue mattresses that weren't int he cabins they were supposed to be in, as well as doing a lot of cleaning. I am very proud of them, because neither really knew what to expect during these first few weeks, and they have been so positive and worked so hard, and made SUCH a difference, and I appreciate it so much!

Tomorrow and Friday are both going to be full of moving and cleaning projects, and I feel exhausted at the thought, but I am getting very excited for the day when we can walk around camp and have everything looking clean and organized.

...And Other Duties as Assigned...

Camp Director is the weirdest job. I always think it is funny when people think I spend all day singing songs and playing with kids. That's the FUN part of my job, but the VERY least part of it too. Camp Director means being in charge of maintenance, cleaning, first aid, managing staff, office stuff, and overall knowing everything about every little corner of camp. There is not such thing as an average day. I don't work 9-5. I don't sit in an office. And, yes, I LOVE it.

Today I had to assemble the back of an oven. I didn't know ovens didn't come with electrical cords, or maybe just this one didn't, but I've been waiting on my boss to deliver the cord since I got here and he finally did today. I thought he would put it together for me, as I have no electrical background. But he didn't, so I used several tools and a little bit of praying, and I assembled it. Now we can cook in my house.

And now I can add "appliance technician" to my list of credentials. Just another day at camp...

Progress!

The Art Director moved in yesterday and she is very easy going. Now there are three of us, and we are the three that will be sharing a house this summer, so it is fun to get to know both of them. I MISS my roommates at home, and I promise, I will NEVER complain about them, no matter how messy the kitchen gets, because I APPRECIATE how wonderful they are and what an important part of my heart they both are. But I like my new roommates and I think I will have a very fun summer with them.

Today has been an absolutely wonderful day, because we are making SO much progress I feel like jumping for joy. I have made several million lists, and both girls have been very receptive to them, which is excellent. We have spent the day cleaning buildings and organizing supplies. The focus this week is on getting the physical property and buildings ready. It's not fun, but it needs to be done and I am pleased to see how hard working and good natured they both are. I am looking forward to next week when we can start focusing on programming and planning and schedules and all of the fun stuff. But for now, we are checking things off the list at a fabulously fast rate, and life is wonderful.

The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side

I went home this weekend. I wasn't originally planning to leave after just 5 days, but I had some personal things to attend to, so I went home. It was a tough week, and a really tough weekend. And now I'm back at camp and my head is sort of spinning.

The first week living at camp was difficult for me. I had been so excited to come to camp, but once I finally got here, I was homesick and overwhelmed and struggled to adjust. It didn't feel comfortable, just unfamiliar and lonely. I missed my roommates. I wasn't settling in and I didn't feel home, even though this is home for the next 4 months.

And then I went home and even though the kitchen was a mess and the living room was a mess (which usually puts me on edge), I felt at ease immediately. I got to see my friends and my roommates and everything was the same as always. And I was SO relieved to be back.

But after a short amount of time, I started to miss camp, and wish I'd stayed. I spent a lot of the weekend thinking about the things I wanted to do at camp and the fact that I was home, but I wasn't home. I was in a weird in between place the whole time. I guess that's probably a good thing. I want both places to be mine, and I'm glad to see that is happening, but it still felt awkward.

Struggling between two sides isn't new. I'm living in two different worlds at the same time and I love both of them, and I am happy to have such a special life, but sometimes it can be an adjustment. I am comfortable living in a big city, paying a lot of money for coffee and gas and parallel parking. But I am also happy living at the edge of a lake in a tiny town "up north", knowing the grocery, hardware and coffee shop owners by name, and being hours away from any major malls or stores.

I am adjusting to my double life.

Struggling

My boss called me today and told me we have to cut three staff. THREE. We only have 18 staff to begin with. Three is A LOT. I wanted to hang up on him. I wanted to throw up. I wanted to cry and I had to fight really hard not to.

A few years ago, the Board of Directors considered closing this camp. The site itself was run down and in need of a lot of repairs, the organization was in a lot of debt, and it seemed like the end. But my boss was hired and he has spent the last 2 summers working hard to build this camp back up to what is has the potential to be. It still needs a lot of work, but that was part of what drew me to this job. The first camp I worked for, started as a field, with nothing and hardly any campers. 6 summers later, it was a glorious place with buildings and supplies and more campers than anyone ever imagined. And I got to be part of that growth and development and I had the opportunity to make a very real and measurable impact. I feel very proud of the role I played and the work I put into it. After I left the first camp, I went to a camp that was fully developed and there wasn't really anything left for me to do, other than show up and make sure things ran every day. I didn't feel challenged or excited or interested. Anyone off the street can show up everyday and maintain. So as I imagined moving on, I really wanted to find a camp like this one, that had potential and that I could throw all of my energy into building.

I have been with this camp since December, and only physically at camp for a week, but I LOVE this camp. I believe in this camp. It is the 61st year this camp will be running. There is history in each building and each square of earth. It is rustic and beautiful and absolutely magical here. Yes, someone needs to go through the entire place with a hammer and nails and cleaning products and, well, probably some major tools, but it is paradise. And I very firmly believe that this camp will succeed.

I have spent the past 4 months going out to schools and churches, recruiting kids to come to camp. I have spent more hours than I can count designing programming that I am confident will be the BEST this camp has ever seen. And I have worked hard to hire the BEST people I could find to be staff. This is not a nine to five job, where you punch in and work and then punch out and go home. This is a job that requires your heart and soul and energy and love. And it is a lifestyle, requiring me to spend four months away from my home and family and friends and normal life. I am FULLY committed to all of the above and I am bursting with passion for all things camp. So hearing that we didn't have enough campers to justify the amount of staff we hired felt like being punched.

I feel like I didn't do a good enough job recruiting (although, for the record, the MAJORITY of campers we have signed up are NEW, so I don't know where all of the returners are, but if they had signed up, we would be in a different position). I feel like I failed at something I so dearly wanted to succeed at. My heart is in pain and I am deeply sad.

And now I have to cut three people off of the staff. I don't even know any of them personally- I just know them from their interviews and emails and phone calls. But already, I am connected to them, dedicated to them and excited for their journey to begin. This isn't just a summer job, it is a life experience. And I was so eager for these people I chose to come here and have their soul touched by camp magic and have their lives changed. I already feel like they are part of my life and turning them away, this close to the beginning of the summer, makes me sick to my stomach. I've been trying really hard not to cry about it, to be a tough, business woman, who can hire and fire staff objectively, based on budget and business.

I am good at my job. I stick to policy and procedure and best practice. I make fair, objective decisions and try to be consistent. But I am emotionally invested. And so I'm struggling.

Camp Runs Through My Veins

Camp is the only job I have ever had. I started out as a counselor at a Day Camp and have moved my way up. I have wanted to work at an overnight camp since I saw the Parent Trap when I was 6, despite the fact that when I went to overnight camp, I cried hysterically from the moment my parents dropped me off until the moment they picked me up. But even with that being my first experience, I knew this is what I wanted to do.

I believe so deeply in the camp experience. I believe that being at camp affects campers and staff in such a powerful way, that it changes them forever. At camp, there is a unique energy that comes from and rare and special combination of creative, enthusiastic people, being outside in fresh air and in the sun, focused on fun and happiness. Kids are given the chance to try new things, learn new skills, and be completely carefree, all while being told over and over again that they are wonderful and can accomplish anything they dream of. And when kids are surrounded by that energy, it bathes their soul in a combination of rainbows and sunshine and sugar and laughter, and it affects them in a way that they will never experience anywhere else.

And so I work at camp. Because I love it, I believe in it and I know that all of my effort is worth it, because this job matters.

Settling In

(This is the view from my house... Yes, I am living the dream...)

The sun is shining today and my camphouse smells strongly of cleaning products, and I have spoken to my four best girl friends, my brother and my mom on the phone. And I found some dishtowels. Life is much better today than yesterday.I went into town today. I went to the hardware store and the grocery store. And between the two places I have spoken with 5 different people about the weather. My roommate H would LOVE it here (she loves the weather). And at the grocery store, they not only bagged my groceries, they carried them to my car and loaded them into my trunk. This place might not be so bad after all...

The Waterfront Director moved in today. She is fabulously nice, knows where things are and has helped me feel more at ease. I am looking forward to getting to know her and work more with her. She is 6 years younger than me, but I think we will get along well. Just having human contact is a major improvement too. I was not doing well by myself.

It is my third day here and I am starting to adjust and this place is feeling more like home. I know that each day will get better and I am thankful to be here, despite the challenges and difficulties along the way.

A Pitcher of Pasta

I have a pitcher filled with pasta in my refrigerator. My first full day has not been quite the rainbow dream I'd expected. Actually, I've spent the majority of the day laying in the fetal position, on the dirty couch in my camphouse. I know, pathetic, but there's no sense in writing about life if I'm not going to be honest.

I am here by myself for the first few days. I will have some staff joining me later in the week, but for now it's just me. I thought I would be fine and it would be an adventure, but I'm the kind of person that needs to be surrounded by people 100% of the time, so this solitary confinement thing isn't going well. And it's gray, rainy and freezing. And there are literally a million things to do and it's overwhelming. And I don't feel like I'm home yet. The whole house is dirty and I don't know where anything is and I keep thinking of things I need but don't have.

In October, I bought a house. I have spent the last 7 months cleaning and decorating and filling my house with everything a house needs. I LOVE my house. It's beautiful and comfortable and it's mine. It's truly home. And now, after all that hard work, I'm here. And today, I was not happy about that. I miss my space. I miss having everything I need in the exact places I determined things should go. I know that this new house will eventually be home for the 4 months I am here and I will grow to love it and be comfortable, but right now, it's not, and that's making everything else harder to deal with.

I know I will laugh about these first few days later on, but tonight, I have not been laughing. To cook dinner, I was like one of the Boxcar Children, scavenging throughout camp for pots and pans and dishes. I managed to scrape together enough to get me through the meal but when I went to put the leftovers away and realized I didn't have tupperware or ziplock bags or anything. So I put it in a plastic pitcher and put a coffee filter over it and I shook my head, because at my house at home, I have a LOT of tupperware. Why again did I leave my perfect home for this? I couldn't remember, but I was determined to make the best of my situation, so I started doing the dishes but I didn't have any dishtowels. And that was right about the time I lost it. I didn't want to be in a cold, gray, rainy, dirty, unorganized place anymore. So I spent a few minutes sobbing over a sink of dishes because I missed my dishtowels.

And so I've spent my last few hours crying and then laughing because crying is so absurd, and then crying, because I desperately miss my roommates, my dishtowels, my tv, my life, and I don't know what I'm doing here.

Day 1- Dumbfounded

Although I have spent the past 6 months preparing for camp, the past week packing and loading my car, and then spent 3 hours driving up here, I have spent most of today walking around in shock. I suspect my face looks similar to someone who has been abducted by aliens and brought to another planet. Camp is so big, and there's just so much that needs to be done. I don't know where to begin and the magnitude of what needs to be accomplished is paralyzing me. I am not sure if I am up for this challenge and I am a bit concerned that this time around, maybe I've bit off more than I can chew. This has been my dream for so long, but now that the dream has finally come true, I'm feeling dumbfounded.