Another Summer Complete

Summer is over and I am relieved. There were a lot of great memories this summer, but it was also one of the most difficult.

I haven't slept through the night for over a month. For weeks, it was unbearable itching from poison ivy, but it is also the need to pee every two hours. It's feeling fat and miserable and being unable to get comfortable in any position. Yes, I know when I have the baby, I will have to wake up a lot, but in no way does that make me feel less miserable or tired right now.

Sleepless nights and physical discomfort are making me miserable. But it's really been the emotional side of things that has been harder. I have felt obsolete all summer. 'A' and 'M' are both confident and skilled at the jobs, and I know they don't NEED me, but they have been so incredibly dismissive all summer, it's made me feel invisible. I know that they are trying to be nice and encourage me to rest and relax, but I find myself asking, "why am I even here at camp?"

On camp clean up day, it was approximately 500 degrees outside. I couldn't help pull docks in, carry canoes or picnic tables. I couldn't really do anything. So I sat in my air conditioned trailer while everyone else worked. It's funny, because if I could have helped, I would have been thinking, "ugh, I hate carrying heavy canoes! I wish I could sit with my feet up while someone else does this!" But not being ABLE to help and not being part of the group was hard.

I'm also starting to get a little nervous, because, well, I'm having a BABY. And he's coming soon! November will be here soon! I have so much work to do between now and then. And then next summer, I'm going to have a BABY! How am I going to bring a baby to camp?!

Anyway, I'm happy this summer is over and I can go home. Next summer will be a whole new adventure, but I'll deal with that later!