Felony Arson

I’ve been very seriously considering felony arson for the past few days. Indian Point Lodge is a big historic building (built in 1923). It is located in the center of camp but we don’t actually use it for very much. It is insured for $600,000. If I burned it down, we could save camp. And since it isn’t vital to camp operations, we could figure out how to rebuild eventually, but in the meantime, camp is saved and we can live with a big empty space in the middle of the property.

I know there are a few issues with my plan-

The first issue I can’t quite figure out is the timing. I am getting married in one week. I don’t have time to go to drive 3 hours to camp to start a fire. The other issue is that I really don’t want to have a big mess in the middle of camp for the wedding. After the wedding would be much better, except that right after the wedding, ‘N’ and I are going on a mini-moon for a few days at a bed and breakfast. So I’ll have to wait until I get home.

Another big issue with this plan is that I haven’t run it by ‘N’ yet because he would not support his new wife delving into criminal activity. He’s way too pragmatic for that sort of thing. Which means I’m going to have to figure out how to sneak away without him knowing I’m at camp (because I can’t be at the scene of the crime when it happens or that will look suspicious).

I figure that I am going to have to sneak onto camp without any neighbors noticing me. Our property manager once told me that one of the neighbors has a security camera in his yard, so I’m not sure how I can drive into camp without anyone knowing I was there. I’m thinking maybe I could turn my headlights off once I hit the dirt road. It’s about a mile from the main road, down the dirt road onto main camp. Except that camp is on a peninsula, so there is water on both sides of the road for the majority of the mile drive, so I’m not exactly sure if I could make the drive without ending up in the lake.

Assuming I could sneak into camp (I’m imagining myself in all black clothes, sneaking across the property) and then into the building), there are more issues I will have to deal with. First of all, camp is super creepy when it’s empty and especially in the dark. I’m not sure I have enough courage to go into the dark building alone (I might not be brave enough to be a criminal). And then there’s the issue of starting a fire- I can start a campfire, no problem. But I am not sure how to start a fire that looks like an electrical fire or something legitimate (and not criminal).

So I’m going to have to start a fire that is strong enough to destroy the entire building. I probably have to stick around long enough to make sure my fire really catches. But I need to leave the scene quickly so no one knows I was there. I need to be 3 hours away from home without my husband knowing I’m gone.

And then I have to act really surprised when I “find out” the building burned down.

If I don’t execute this plan correctly, I could either hurt myself or someone else or end up in prison for arson.

It’s not a foolproof plan. But it would save camp.