Home

For the past 6 summers, I have gone home only once or twice during the May-August camp period. In the early years, it was easy. I had roommates to take care of my house. My friends and family came to camp for visits and I was able to spend my summer soaking in the sun and living peacefully in the woods without a care in the world.

When I started dating 'N' it got a little tougher, but he knew I never came home and he was willing to make a lot of effort to drive up north every few weekends.

Last summer was more difficult- we had moved in together in the fall and it was hard to leave our life for the summer. But last summer, I thought it was my final season of camp, so I soaked in every minute and tried to enjoy it while it lasted.

By the end of last year, I was not ready to give up camp, ready to fight and SO incredibly thankful and excited to be granted another year.

But now I'm here again and it's harder than it has ever been. N and I have a life that I love and I don't want to leave, even for camp. My best friend just moved back to the city and yet, I am stuck in the woods.

I went home this past weekend and tried to squeeze everything I could into 48 hours. N and I went out for sushi for his birthday. I went to Costco, Whole Foods, Trader Joes, the deli, the dog food store, Target, the nail salon, the bank, my office, the cell phone store, over to X's new house, to my brother's new house, birthday lunch and probably a few other places I forgot to mention in this list. It was a whirlwind.

Now I'm back to the woods, but I don't feel refreshed or excited about being back. I mostly just wish I was still at home. It is going to be a long summer if I can't snap myself out of this funk.