A BRIEF Trip Home

Yesterday, we had a mandatory all staff in-service. Because all of the staff had to be at camp on Saturday, I didn't have anyone to ride the bus. It happened to be my BFs birthday on Friday, so I decided to ride the bus home from (the first time I've ridden the bus in 6 summers) and then have him drive me back up to camp.

I rode the bus back to the office where my mom picked me up. I made some photocopies in the office and then we headed to my house. I grabbed a few things from around my house, changed my clothes and then the BF and I went out for sushi. We made a quick trip to the grocery store and then headed back to camp.

We got back to camp around 10:30pm and Assistant Director 'A' had baked the BF his favorite cake for his birthday. 'A' has the best memory for details of anyone I have ever met. I can mention something one time and she will remember it and reference it later. I'm not sure how she knew that was his favorite cake, but she remembered.

Tomorrow we begin our biggest week of the summer. I think it will be a great week.

Can't Rain on My Parade

We've had gorgeous, hot, sunny weather all week- until last night. The talent show is the last activity of the night, and just as we were heading down to the fire circle/stage, it started pouring. The rain only lasted about 15 minutes and then it went back to beautiful weather, but the power went out a few minutes into the storm and when the rain ended, the power didn't quite get the message.

We decided to hold the talent show anyway and managed to find all of the songs the kids needed for their acts on our phones. The music was a little quieter without speakers, but we managed. The kids loved the show- they laughed at all the skits and sang along with the songs. The counselors sang a song together and put their arms around each other and rocked while they sang.

There have been so many moments this week that I have just been overcome with happiness and wanted to burst into tears of joy. The counselors this year are the best I have worked with. The kids are enthusiastic. The weather has been perfect. I feel healthy and strong and energetic. Life is amazing.

The parents arrived yesterday and were friendly and complimentary and said wonderful, kind things. Everyone was seated at the fire circle/stage and ready for the closing program. Except that the sky was getting darker and darker and I was worried that it would start raining while we were sitting there. In my experience, parents do not find fleeing from the rain very charming. So at the last minute, I moved everyone into the chapel where we had a slightly altered closing program. It started POURING midway through the ceremony, so I was happy we moved.

A little bit of rain, but still, a great week!

One Wet Shoe

It is Christmas week and so last night, all of the kids and staff left one show on their cabin porches because St. Nick was rumored to be making a visit.

At 3am, the crashing thunder woke me up and as I sat up in bed, I said out loud, "they're all going to have one wet shoe!"

The power went out but the lightning was bright. The winds were shaking my camper. I was frantically checking all of the weather apps I have on my phone. There weren't any alerts and when I looked out my front door, it looked like a normal rain storm, nothing major.

I was wide awake in bed. As I lay in bed worrying, I realized that I wasn't worried about a tornado or severe weather. That is always a concern, but my real fear was that a huge tree would fall on one of my flimsy little cabins and crush a bunch of campers. There is not an app to predict that or a warning system to alert me to get them to safety.

Eventually I fell back to sleep and when I went to breakfast this morning, many kids told me they had slept through the storm and hadn't heard anything. Everyone had one wet shoe, but no one seemed concerned about it.

I am enjoying myself immensely this summer but my sleepless night was a reminder of how much responsibility this job is. Even if everyone else at camp sleeps through the storm, I will not be able to relax until the last camper and staff have made it safely home at the end of the summer. I guess I can sleep then...

Camp Magic

Camp magic is the special something that sets camp apart from any other place in the world. I can think of dozens of memories where I forgot I was in charge of everything and got swept into the excitement and fun with equal enthusiasm to the kids- THAT is camp magic.

Yesterday was HOT. All day long, it was just hot and sticky everywhere. By the time we got to the campfire, I was drained and sick of being hot. We sang some songs, made s'mores and watched some counselor skits. But I was OVER it.

"Hey, I have an idea!" Both the kids and the counselors weren't sure what I was going to say. "Who wants to do a spontaneous, fully clothed, nighttime polar bear plunge with me?!" (Polar bear plunge is usually at 7:15am and the kids LOVE it!) All of the kids and most of the counselors started cheering.

One of the kids said, "but we don't have our towels". I told him it was still hot outside so he would dry. Plus, we were going to showers in a little while anyway, so it didn't really matter if their clothes got wet. We all ran down to the beach and jumped in the water in our clothes. It was still light out and there are MANY lifeguards on staff, so we were safe. And even though it was the evening, the water was warm. Anything that is different than the schedule feels a little exciting to the kids and I know the counselors (and I!) appreciated cooling down.

Tonight was the dance party. I used to LOVE the dance party, but I skipped most of them last year. I was planning on skipping this one too, but I started talking with a few of the kids sitting off to the side and pretty soon we were all dancing and I got swept into the party.

I was so dreading camp before I arrived for the summer, but I've been overcome by camp magic and find myself swept into the fun more often than not. There will always be emails and paperwork, but this summer, I can't tear myself away from playing, kayaking, hanging out, and general camp life. It is wonderful.

Praying For a Miracle

Today the Bishop came to say mass. I was nervous. I met with this bishop last year to try to get him on board with camp and he basically shot me down. Our camp happens to be in this diocese, so you would think we would get a lot of kids from around here, but it turns out, the schools and churches don't promote us because of this bishop. When we met, he offered to come to camp to say mass but he put me off all last summer. So I basically stalked him, emailing about once a month since last summer until we arranged it for this summer. I am determined to win him over.

He came to camp and he was very pleasant. During mass, I said a prayer for God to save camp. I'm not particularly religious despite the fact that I run a religiously based camp, but I don't want camp to close. "Dear God, please send me a million dollars and help me save camp. I am sorry for praying for money, I know that's sort of tacky, but it's not for my personal benefit, so it's not quite a sin- right?"

We can't close- there is too much good and this summer is going so well. How can we close something that is so pure and so good? We can't. And yet, at this point, something big will have to happen for me to go back to the board and say, "Never mind, I actually want to keep it going. Forget all of the concerns I presented a few months ago."

So I am praying for a miracle. Well, no, not a miracle- money. I don't need anything mysterious from the heavens, I just need some cash, plain and simple money. It might take a miracle to find that money, but it's a pretty straightforward need. Hopefully I don't get myself sent to hell by praying for it.

Christmas!

The theme this week is "Christmas in June". On Saturday, Property Manager T cut down a huge pine tree and brought it into the dining hall. It was about 12 feet tall and almost touches the ceiling. It could be a bit wider for me, but it's not bad...

This evening, campers rotated between 5 different stations- Christmas cookie decorating, Christmas bingo, Christmas charades, Christmas caroling and Christmas ornament making.

The kids were so excited and everyone was in a festive, happy mood. I walked from station to station just overwhelmed with happiness. It was such a perfect, happy, wonderful activity.

Gradually, my feelings of impending doom around every corner are fading. Every day, about 100 times a day, in small moments, when I watch the counselors with the kids, when I observe activities, when I interact with the kids- over and over, I am overcome with happiness and pride.

Last summer, I was still in a cloud of grief from the loss of my dad. Camp flooded. I had a new business manager, a new property manager, new cook, and new program directors. Everything was difficult. So perhaps this summer, everything feels so much easier because last summer was so hard.

Whatever it is, this summer is starting off it a beautiful, amazing, fun, enjoyable, fabulous way and I am enjoying every minute of it.

I feel like a kid at Christmas... apropos for this week I suppose...

Needy Parents

This morning, I opened my email first thing while still laying in bed. There were three emails (each progressively more hysterical) from a mom who was dropping her two daughters off today. Last year, when she dropped off the older of the two, she cried (a lot), so I wasn't surprised she was feeling nervous again. I emailed her back and then we exchanged 5 more emails over the next half hour. The younger daughter had been nervous last night and started to cry so she was panicking.

When she arrived at camp, as they all got out of the car and she already had tears in her eyes. The older daughter ran off immediately to her three friends who were already at camp. When the younger camper started crying, the mom wrapped her in her arms, and was crying above her head.

Eventually I managed to separate them and distract the camper enough to get her over to the opening program. I was surprised when, as we introduced the staff, that the mom drove away. She hadn't actually left though. She had just driven down the road and around the corner to finish writing out notes to attach to the care packages she'd made for each day.

An hour later, I drove the golf cart down to check on her. She wasn't crying and we talked for a while. She eventually finished and left nearly two hours after she dropped off the girls. I emailed her this morning and let her know the girls were doing well.

In addition to that needy mom, there was another that I emailed with in the days leading up to camp. This is her older son's third year of camp, but her younger son's first. Her husband died unexpectedly two years ago and she has had some health problems, so I know everything is just a bit more dramatic, but she was very worried. When the younger camper took the swim test today, he didn't pass. Later, he re-took the test and when everyone in the group found out her was taking it, they started cheering him on. By the end of the two minute swim, they were counting down 10 seconds, 9 seconds, 8, 7... and when he passed, they all cheered. The lifeguard told me that when he finished and everyone cheered, he raised his arms above his head and his face lit up with a huge triumphant smile.

I emailed his mom to tell her that story and encourage her.

Today there was a sick camper. He and three of his siblings are at camp this week. When I called the parents to let them know he was sick, the mom's first question was, "yes, but how is Harry?" (Harry is the youngest of the 4 kids).

I think my week is going to include a lot of hand holding with the parents, but we're off to a strong start.

Just A Typical Day

I thought "Executive Director" would
include more business suits and power lunches...

The first week of camp continues to go well and we are definitely into the swing of things.

Here's a run down of my day:

7:05- Wake up
7:15- Go for a run with Assistant Director 'A'
7:45- wake up dogs, feed them, make breakfast
8:15- go to the dining hall where kids are WIDE awake, singing, asking questions and READY for the day!
8:45- grab some shovels and a pitch fork and head to the mud pit with 'A'. Once a week, the kids compete in tu-o-war and then jump in the mud pit. To get the mud pit ready, you have to dig and turn up the dirt, while mixing it with your feet. Eventually, it ends up sticky and muddy and about knee deep, but it takes at least an hour to get it that way.
10:00- the kids tug-o-war and then jump in the mud. At the end, inevitably, they all start chanting my name and I make a big production about not wanting to go in, shouting no and looking surprised they would ask. I dip a toe in and ask if that is enough. And then of course I go in face first and the kids go wild. It is actually pretty fun, despite the mud in my teeth and eyes.

11:00- wash off at the beach with the kids and then head to my house to SCRUB the rest of the mud off my body.

11:25- One of our board members and a potential donor show up unannounced. Spend the next hour showing them around camp. All of the activities were going SO well and I was very proud.

12:30- lunch (still entertaining board member and guest)- kids are SO loud. The guests love it and are very impressed.

1:30- Thank board member for coming. I have not yet actually been near my computer today, my phone has been ringing the entire visit and rest period is almost over so I don't have much time before I have to go help lifeguard. I am starving and my head hurts. I have given up gluten, dairy and yeast this summer, so I don't actually eat in the dining hall. I eat before or after. I rush to my house to eat quickly and my dogs are upset that they haven't gotten to play yet.

1:50- Head to the beach to lifeguard. Get stopped on the way there by 'A' who has been trying to mediate two campers and their very unhappy counselor. She has been unsuccessful and so I bring the girls into my office (first I switch around some staff to take my place at the beach) and then we talk about behavior.

2:15- bring the kids to their activity. Quickly check my voicemail (there are 8 phone calls that need to be returned) and my email (there are about 17 of them).

2:50- The third period canoe group has been struggling this week, so I have decided to take over and get them organized. I take half of the group and head out in kayaks. It is a gorgeous day, they are slow enough that I am able to mostly kick back and work on my tan in between short bursts of paddling.

3:50- Meet with the 2 counselors and two campers from earlier to mediate the behavior situation from the morning.

4:00- The housekeeper's phone went missing this morning and I have been doing some detective work to recover it. 'A' and I go into the oldest male cabin to do some secret searching.

4:15- Finally take the dogs out to play for a little bit while answering some phone calls.

5:00- Cook dinner while discussing evening programming and cabin assignments for next week with 'A'.

5:30- Dining hall. Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays I have "staff dinner" where groups of counselors join me at the lead staff table for dinner and check in.

6:00- Bring the oldest male cabin to my office to interrogate each camper one by one for information about the missing phone. No luck with the phone but I learn that I am scary enough to intimidate 15 year old boys.

6:45- Work on emails and phone calls. Get interrupted by SCREAMING. There are ants in one of the girls' cabin. The counselor is HORRIFIED because it is ATROCIOUS and she has never seen such an infestation. The girls move to an empty cabin in full on crisis mode. If the building was burning to the ground and they were trying to save all of their most prized possessions, several kittens and a few orphan babies, I imagine the reaction would be similar to what they were doing. I hurry to the cabin, expecting to see the walls black, covered and crawling, but there were about 20 ants in one area and 10 in another area. It was a decent amount of ants, but I personally would have swept them into a dust pan and told the girls to chill, but I take their crisis very seriously, help them frantically grab everything and RUN out of the cabin and promise to alert our property manager first thing in the morning.... No, I do not think it is necessary to call him at home and have him return this evening.

7:50- set up for the dance party and dance for a few minutes.

8:15- back to my office to write 12 elf letters (camp has an elf- if you write him a letter and put it inside his tiny door, he will write you a tiny little letter back. A very fun idea and the kids love it, but it requires me to write tiny letters to put into tiny envelopes which takes more time than one would imagine). 2 of the letters are in spanish and require translation- apparently the elf is bi-lingual this week.

8:45- start camper showers. This process involves me sitting in the bathroom, reminding every single girl to brush her teeth, go to the bathroom and then stand in line, making sure she has her towel, soap, pjs, etc. We have 6 showers, so getting 45 girls through the bathroom requires efficiency and a lot of me yelling, "ladies in the shower, you have 3 minutes left.... ladies in the shower, you have 30 seconds.... ladies in the shower, if you don't hurry up, I am going to turn the water to this building off and you can go to bed covered in soap...." I don't actually have that ability, but it sounds less creepy than, "I am going to drag you out of there" which I also have never done- I actually can't really do anything to them if they are in the shower past my time limit warning, so it's a bit of an empty threat, but overall, it keeps them moving.

10:15- The last few oldest girls get into the shower and so I leave the bathroom. Their counselor can deal with getting them to hurry up and finish. I go to the office to pick up my computer and go home. I try to answer a few more emails, write the daily blog post for our website while brushing my teeth.

10:30- talk to my boyfriend on the phone. I get terrible reception in my house, so I have to call him back several times through the 10 minute conversation.

11:00- turn off the light.

There were a few other things in between all of that, but that's a pretty typical day. During the rest of the year, I generally work 9am-3:30pm and get flack from friends for having a cake job. But I make up those hours during the summer, so it evens out compared to their 9-5 jobs.

Bring on the next day of adventure.

Beautiful Moment in Counseling

Yesterday we did an activity called CHAOS (http://sunshineandrainbowdreams.blogspot.com/2013/06/day-1.html) and one of the activities was building boats out of recycled materials. The majority of the group was 7 year old boys- a tough age to get to focus on anything, and yet, they were incredibly focused and worked hard the whole time.

Towards the end of the period, I headed over to the art barn to see their final projects. Counselor M was leading the kids towards sunset beach to see if the boats could float. Counselor B was still in the art barn with one of the kids. I walked in and stood off to the side to observe.

The camper was crying and I could see that his boat was only half finished. But instead of rushing the camper or telling him, "tough luck- we ran out of time" Counselor B was sitting next to him, quietly and patiently telling him not to worry, he would make sure that the camper got to finish his boat. He didn't rush- he calmly worked as if they had all the time in the world.

In staff training, we talk about building relationships, about treating every child as if they were the only child here, about meeting kids where they are at. But so often in the hustle and bustle of getting a big group of kids from one place to another, or when we get tired or frustrated, the ability to be patient, to take your time and to give the one-on-one attention each kid needs gets forgotten.

Eventually the camper and Counselor B completed the boat and took it to the beach. The moment that the boat went into the water and floated was exceptional. The camper and Counselor B looked at each other in pure joy- both of their eyes lighting up with surprise, pride and excitement.

It doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things whether or not kids finish building their boat or if they float. And with so many kids and so many activities, it is easy to rush through things to get the whole group on to the next thing. But these small moments mean something to the kids. And the extra time and effort was so worth it. It was a good reminder for me and I am so proud of Counselor B.

Day 1!!

The first full day is over and I am exhausted, but filled with joy. It was an absolutely perfect first day. Hopefully I will get used to things going so well and I won't be skeptical or fear that it is the calm before the storm. I just can't quite believe that this summer will be as easy and wonderful as it has been so far, but I think this is how a camp is SUPPOSED to run, so maybe I will adjust.

The group of kids that arrived yesterday were 75% (or maybe more) return campers. A group of nuns from the city send neighborhood kids to camp every year and this is the group. For the past few years it has rained the ENTIRE week they have been at camp, so I was happily shocked when they arrived to sunshine yesterday.

Everyone got off the bus smiling, excited, happy and ready for camp. After 12 days of talking about camp, practicing activities and getting ready for camp, counselors were SO eager for actual kids to be here. They looked a little nervous when actually put in charge of wiggling 7 year olds, giggling 10 year olds, and eye rolling 13 year olds, but they found their groove quickly.

This morning, the kids were eager to start activities and I was really impressed with the counselors. They were mostly on time (which is IMPRESSIVE for the first day), they were organized, and they lead the activities just as we taught them.

There weren't any homesick kids, behavior issues, and every activity I saw was filled with happy, engaged kids and counselors who were camper-focused and having fun. I felt a little like I was walking around a real life promotional video.

In the evening, we ran an activity called CHAOS which stands for "counselors have another outstanding skill". Counselors get to lead a one hour activity of their choice outside of camp activities. As I walked around camp watching each activity, I was actually choking back tears.

I watched a very engaged group of kids learning yoga poses.

I walked into a building where all of the kids were huddled together- happy but focused on learning Swahili.

A group building tiny boats out of recycled materials and another group building bridges out of toothpicks. I was amazed that even the older boys were smiling and participating (sometimes it is tough to convince 15 year old boys to craft).

There was a group on the field who were "horizontal rock climbing". The counselor had set out paper plates and other "rocks" and the kids had to put their hands and feet in certain places to get from one side to the other. To "repel" back down, they rolled through the grass. It was mostly little girls and they were giggling so loudly I couldn't help myself but to laugh as I watched.

The final group was beat boxing, rapping and learning to harmonize. As they sand their song, my mouth actually dropped open. I could NOT believe how incredible they sounded. I could NOT believe that two counselors could get 15 kids to sound like that in less than an hour. I nearly burst into tears of joy.

Every single child was engaged and happy. Every counselor was not just effectively leading, but they were smiling and happy too. It was pure magic- camp at its absolute best.

Day one= success. I can't wait to see what the rest of the summer brings...

Staff Training

June 2 began the marathon with lifeguard training. This year I had 8 people go through the class (I usually have 3 or 4). I sort of hate "pre-camp" training. They are at camp and getting to know each other, but they aren't officially at camp yet. We don't play get to know you games or go over the policies of camp. So it's just sort of an awkward in between time. But the staff did a great job with lifeguard class and settled into camp and so it all worked out. CPR/First aid was all day on June 6. There were only a few in that class because so many had been part of lifeguarding. The lifeguards spent the day helping out with projects around camp.

June 7 was the first full day of staff training. Training is 8am-9pm every day. There are a few scheduled breaks, but for the most part, it is nonstop activity. The first few days involve a lot of sitting and listening. I break up the day with frequent songs and games, so that the days don't get too long as we cover the important things like camp rules, safety, child development, etc.

By the third or fourth day of training days become much more interactive and hands on with staff actually learning and practicing the activities. The staff members are all 19 years old. Last year, we had mostly seniors in college or recent college grads. Consequently, they seem INCREDIBLY young this year.

Overall, training went really well. I had 3 come to me crying, unsure if they were cut out to be a counselor. I actually worry less about those kinds of staff- I knew they were listening to me and taking the seriousness of this job to heart. We talked through it and they all bounced back and ended training with excitement for the summer. I think some of the other staff are a bit overconfident right now. I think actual children are going to be surprisingly more difficult to manage than just talking about campers, but they'll get the hang out if.

Usually when staff training ends, I just want to lay on my couch and not move. The BF usually comes up for the weekend and we hang out. But there were about a million different things I wanted from my house and 7 different stores I wanted to visit to buy specific items. It was too much for him to bring me- it would have been like a scavenger hunt. So I decided to go home for 24 hours.

Training ended at 12 and I was in the car by 1:30. I got home, dropped off the dogs and ran around to all of the different places I needed to go. BF and I went out to a nice dinner, relaxed and watched a movie on the couch and went to bed early. This morning, I planned to sleep in, but was awake by 8am.

It looks like I got into a fight
(my leg looks similar)

My voice is scratchy and sounds terrible from 12 days of talking and singing loudly. My body is bruised from moving things around and getting camp ready, as well as some particularly gross looking bruises from canoe tipping. My allergies have kicked in and my eyes are dry and red. So overall, I wasn't feeling my prettiest. So I went to get my nails done. They were broken and jagged and ordinarily I wouldn't bother, but I needed a little pampering.

I had a nice lunch with my mom, stopped at my office to make a few copies and was back to camp by dinnertime. It was a whirlwind, but I am happy I made the trip.

Usually I think nail art is tacky,
but I figured it would be fun fo camp

As we begin the summer, I feel... good... I hesitate to say that, but I feel GOOD. I came to camp feeling  SO negative and apprehensive. And last summer was SO difficult. The business manager 'S' was new and even though she is smart and works hard, everything was so new for her, it was difficult. This year, she is totally self sufficient and she makes my life so easy.

Property Manager 'T' was new last summer. I was nervous about him and we were still figuring each other out. This summer, he is confident, knows exactly what needs to be done and makes my life so easy.

My cooks last year were terrible. The head cook was a basket case, the assistant cook went crazy because she was trying to make up for the head cook. It was a battle all summer. This summer, I have two new cooks and a new housekeeper who are all FABULOUS. The cooks work together as school cooks, and have transformed the kitchen. They are competent, hard working, confident and make my life easy! The new housekeeper has scrubbed every inch of camp and I have never seen this place so clean. It is amazing.

Assistant Director 'A' is amazing as always, but this year, as a full time staff member, she is more confident, more independent and is making my life easy. My summer program director is new to the role, but she is so confident, so easy going, and so good- she reminds me of PDS (who was my program director for 4 years and the greatest staff member/human being of all time!).

Last summer's unofficial theme was "struggle"- everything was just DIFFICULT. And then it flooded. And so the fact that everything is going so smooth this year, that everything is so easy, is making me a little nervous. I think I'm a little scarred from last year. This is the way camp is SUPPOSED to run- a group of competent people doing their jobs well to operate efficiently and successfully. I know this is normal. But I am not quite used to it and so I've been cautiously peering around corners, and fear there is something dramatic waiting to crush me as soon as I let my guard down.

I'm hopeful though. I'm hopeful that last year was a fluke. I'm hopeful that this is a sign of the summer ahead. I am hopeful that we will have sunshine and happy campers and an amazing summer!! Bring on the campers....

Idealism

In high school and college, I found my place with the "youth group crowd" and spent a lot of time volunteering, attending retreats, and talking about faith. We all wore a lot of cross necklaces, spent time discussing our favorite Bible/Gandhi/Mother Theresa quotes and there was nothing better if someone had a guitar and we could sing faith-based songs while sitting in a circle. We all believed that we were going to change the world.

At 31, I'm still pretty idealistic. I believe in the possibility of change. I believe in the goodness of people. I volunteer. But sometime between then and in my 20s, I've developed a healthy level of cynicism and have a better grasp on reality. The inspirational stories and quotes of my youth seem cliche.

Yes, I still aspire to be the change I wish to see in the world and I don't doubt that a small group of thoughtful citizens can change the world. But these days I find that I spend more energy on goals like "lose 10 pounds" or "get around to googling refinancing my mortgage."

Me from 15 years ago would be so disappointed. I vowed I would never lose my idealism.

--

Every year the camp staff seem a little younger and I feel significantly older. This year in particular, I have almost all new, almost all 19 year old staff. 7 of 15 were campers while I was the director!

One of the girls is the niece of my board vice president 'M'. 'M' is in her late 40s or maybe early 50s. So when the counselor asked me, "how do you know my aunt? Did you go to high school together?" I realized I am officially old enough that they don't have a concept of my age. I am just "an adult"- 30, 50, 90? What does it matter- old people are just old.

I'm happy to be at that point with the staff. By being "old" I know that I am FAR more credible than when I was close in age to the staff I was supervising. Those first few years were difficult because they knew (and so did I) that the only reason I was "in charge" was because I had the whistle and a better job title.

Today was a full day of lifeguard training. It was 8 hours straight of talking, demonstrating and trying to get 19 year olds to appreciate the level of responsibility they are taking on. I was drained and they seemed to have gained energy as the day progressed. I went into the staff house to pick up my computer before heading home and could have sworn I'd entered a cliche camp movie (the kind that anyone who has ever been to camp says, "yeah, it's not really like that"). There they were, sitting in a circle, singing and swaying (many with eyes closed).

As they belted out "Lord I Life Your Name on High...." All I could think was, "I wish I had some wine." But I stopped myself from rolling my eyes and realized that, cynicism aside, it was a sweet and lovely scene. This is a particularly innocent, conservative group, which I should be thankful for, not judgmental of. I thought about the horror stories I've heard from so many other camp directors- sex, drugs, alcohol, parties, firing large groups of staff at once. I am happy to have my youth groupers.

I stood for a moment and appreciated their spirit and thought about my younger self. I said a short prayer, "dear God, please take away some of my cynicism and let me enjoy this summer with carefree innocence." If this is the last year (or even if it's not), let me enjoy every moment, laugh more, set aside paperwork and emails and try to play more often.