Advocate

My dad is on oxygen for the next few months until his lungs completely recover. When he left the hospital, three different types of equipment were delivered to my house- a concentrator, which is like an oxygen tank but it runs on electricity. It has 50 feet of hose so he can walk around the house without having to carry anything with him. He also has oxygen tanks and a little cart so he can leave the house and still have oxygen with him. The tanks last about 4 continuous hours, so we have several of them. We also have a back-up tank, which is the same as the portable, but lasts 24 hours (in case the power goes out and he can't use the concentrator).

When we moved to camp, I couldn't fit the back-up tank in my car (we had a lot of other stuff), nor could I lift it myself, but the medical supply company had already said they could pick up and deliver any of the equipment.

Thursday we were supposed to get the new back-up tank, more portable tanks and also some pads for the tube because his ears have been really sore where it rests. I was in the city for a meeting, and when I returned later, my dad told me that the delivery guy didn't have the back-up tank or ear pads, but he'd offered to bring them when he returned to the area in 4 weeks.

My dad told him that was fine, but he should probably expect an angry call later.

4 weeks?! Um, no. Completely unacceptable. Cue angry phone call.

My mom always warns me to be polite. I think it is because when I tell her stories, I usually include the phrases, "stupid idiots" and "they've gotta be f&@%ing kidding me?!" a lot. But I'm always polite.

"The driver told me he forgot the ear pads. I've already fed-exed them out to you" was the response as soon as I told the coordinator my name.

"And the back-up tank?" -me

"He forgot that too?" -coordinator

"Yes, he had three things and he forgot two of them. What can you do for me?" -me

"I can have him back to you on Monday?" (his tone was more of a question)

"Today would be better."

"How about tomorrow morning?"

I feel like I've been fighting every step of the way since this whole fiasco began. I'm not sure if this is how it goes when someone gets sick. Everyone told me I needed to be an advocate for my dad and that I've been doing a good job. I don't think I've been unreasonable with my expectations and I don't regret any of the demands I've made thus far. I've been polite, patient and kind. But I have also been assertive, thorough and relentless.

I'd like to think my dad would have gotten the same level of care regardless if I was involved or not. But I'm actually not sure if that is the case.

I'm not sure what people do if they don't have someone there to advocate for them. Even if you are completely competent and assertive normally, when you are sick, you truly can't advocate for yourself. It's a little bit scary to think about actually.