Emerging Leader

The American Camping Association has 24 "sections" across the country which provide training and educational opportunities, manage the accreditation process, etc. Last spring, the VP of camp's section asked me to "help out" with the education committee, and that turned into me becoming the chair and joining the board of directors for the section.

One of my earliest memories from my childhood camp experience was along the sidelines of a day camp field. A huge group of kids was playing and while I had zero interest in joining the game, I distinctly remember standing next to the counselor, my arms crossed, thinking, "I don't wanna play, but I would like to be in charge of this." I desperately wanted a taste of the power that comes from holding a clipboard. That feeling never went away, and (even when I resist) I almost always end up in some sort of leadership or organizational position of every activity of which I get involved.

The board of directors is made up of several very experienced, successful camp directors, whose careers I admire and aspire to someday emulate. I am honored to be able to work with and learn from them.

Yesterday, as we reviewed the budget, I was doing my best to follow along and pay attention. But the entire page was filled with column after column of numbers and the only thing I could think of was a song I was making up~ "this is boring, this is boring, blah blah blah, blah blah blah..." And then I remembered I had gum in my purse and got excited. When I reached for the gum, I found a cool pen, and then the song turned into, "cooooooooool pen! Yeah yeah..."

As I sat, singing my song and day dreaming about glitter, all of a sudden, I snapped back into reality, looked around the room at everyone nodding, jotting notes and saying things like, "fiscal year blah blah" and I felt like a little kid who'd just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. I self consciously wondered if anyone noticed how unqualified I was and I was genuinely concerned that I was going to get scolded like a naughty camper. I was relieved to see that no one seemed to notice me disinterest, but I was worried that perhaps I was actually a child, trapped in an adult's body. And then I started to worry that at some point, faking my way through the "grown up things" I don't care about was going to get me in trouble.

The meeting ended and I felt stressed out and worried about my fate as an adult. After the meeting, it was time for the annual celebration of the year for everyone in the section. Committee leaders gave the highlights of the year, the president spoke, and re-accredited camps gave presentations on their successes. Volunteers and board members were recognized with certificates and then, to my surprise, the vice president of the board announced that they would be handing out an award.

I was surprised because, as Education Chair, I'd done a majority of the planning for the event. Earlier, when we had reviewed the schedule of the day, I'd asked her about the award and she'd said, "we aren't giving anything out this year." So when she got up and described the "emerging leadership" award and then announced my name, my mouth dropped open like a pageant winner. I was still stressed out about not being a competent adult and genuinely surprised to be recognized by so many people I admire.

I received a very nice plaque, which, I hope, will inspire me to pay better attention the next time we discuss the budget or anything else I struggle to find interesting. Perhaps this is just the inspiration I need...