On Sunday, my roommates and I took the three dogs to the dog park. Ordinarily, I wouldn't being my purse with me because I obviously know better than to leave my purse in my car. However, I was in between errands and honestly, didn't even think about it. When we got there, I put it under the seat and figured that in a busy parking lot, in the middle of the afternoon, it would be fine.
When we returned to the car an hour later, my window was shattered and my purse was gone. As I waited for the police to arrive, the gas station down the block also called the police because they saw a man filling up his gas tank throw a purse into the garbage can. Apparently cars get broken into several times a week at this park (news to me), so the gas station is used to this sort of thing.
The officer arrived with my purse (minus my credit cards, ID, camera, and gum, but still containing my lip gloss, old papers, etc), filed a report and then my roommates, dogs and I headed home. And I have been fuming ever since.
I'm mad at myself for leaving my purse in my car, but I am also mad because I should be able to leave my purse in my car. Because they are MINE. How dare he... what would ever make him think it was okay to do that? Does he have no decency? The gas station attendant saw a black man throw my purse away. And all I can think is, "congratulations dude, you are a complete cliche. Seriously? Pull up your pants, go get a job and stop perpetuating the stereotype." I don't feel like my normal bleeding heart liberal self. And I'm mad about that. Because I am the first person to argue against stereotypes, to give people the benefit of the doubt, to look beyond someone's race or gender to approach with an open mind.
I'm also mad that I had to drive around for 2 days with no window and then I had to spend $240 to have my window replaced. Not to mention $2osomething to replace my ID, 17 phone calls to get a new bank account and new cards. And then there's my stolen camera (I hope he enjoys the 57 pictures and videos of my dogs), stolen wallet, oh, and did I mention my stolen hope? Yeah, because he took that too.
I realize that his life probably sucks and he was probably desperate and, while annoying and violating, this won't really affect my life long term. I realize that I should read and re-read "Part 1- Idealism" because while this was his fault, I have conflicted feelings about how much blame and hatred I can actually assign to this individual....
Except that I'm really mad. I can't stop thinking about how unacceptable this was. How, no matter what kind of difficult life you've had, in no way is it okay to break someone else's window and take something that doesn't belong to you. I keep thinking of the terrible things I would like to say to him. And for possibly the first time ever, I totally understand the opposite view point (does anti-bleeding heart liberal have a name?). I understand the viewpoint that, "I work hard for my money, I don't want it to go towards helping people who can't help themselves." Sorry poor people, you're on your own.
*Sigh*
Even in my rage, I can freely admit that my education, my job, my house, car, purse, and everything else in life that I have earned, was earned with the support of my family, neighbors, and greater community. I didn't get to this place in life on my own. I was given incredible opportunities from the time I was young, supported through everything and lucky enough to grow up in a culture of success. Education wasn't a choice. Working hard wasn't a choice. College, getting a job, making something of myself- none of those were choices. Those things were givens- just what you do. I didn't become who I am because I am a superior human being to the purse snatcher. I was just lucky enough to be born into a world where success was expected from birth... The same way that he was (probably) born into a world where a crime is, if not expected, at least common. How much can I really fault him?
There is a war inside of me between my feelings of wanting to change the world one person at a time, with a new found desire to direct all charitable giving funds towards a giant wall- behind which we can send all of the loser criminals to live and destroy each other, leaving the res of us (productive members of society) to live in peaceful harmony. I'm not sure which will win...
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