BF vs. Dog

My boyfriend doesn't like my dog. He thinks she is spoiled and bratty and it drives him crazy that she is so needy.

BF really likes dogs, he used to foster them. I think animals are fine, but generally speaking, I don't really like them. I don't get excited to see, nor do I have a strong desire to pet or interact with strange dogs. I love Olivia, but it's not because she's a dog- I love the role she fills in my life. BF can't relate to my connection with Olivia and I don't really understand his enjoyment of animals. I worry that this is going to become an issue between us. I'm not sure how we are going to find understanding and compromise when we have such different views.

I am the first person to admit that puppy could use a bit more discipline. I am aware that throwing tantrums and screeching until she gets my undivided attention is something I should train her to stop doing. I know that she should eat less bacon, shouldn't sleep with her head on my pillow and that every time she cries and then gets her way, it's reinforcing the bad behavior. I'm working on it, I really am. And I've gotten better- BF would have a heart attack if he knew how spoiled she used to be.

I have wanted a bulldog for years. After years of looking at pictures and dreaming about it, when I finally decided to buy one, it still took 6 months of thought, research, visiting breeders and preparation. I met, fell in love with and put a down payment on Olivia when she was 5 days old. I spent the next 6 weeks making weekly visits to watch her grow. Since bringing her home, I have spent a small fortune on her, devoted a ridiculous amount of time to her and have made her the center of my life.

You can call me a "crazy dog lady" or make fun or judge, but everyone I know has something that they love, spend a lot of money on and, if you don't also enjoy, you could judge as "unnecessary". My roommate spent several thousand dollars on a bike and spends hours and hours training, reading about triathlons and it's her life. I never ever judge people for their interests. If you find something you love and want to spend time and money on, if it brings you happiness, I think it's worthwhile. "Crazy Dog Lady" implies that I don't have friends, don't socialize with people, or don't have anything in my life besides the puppy. None of those things are true.

I love my puppy and she brings me a lot of happiness. I enjoy watching her- everything she does makes me laugh, entertains me, makes me happy. I like playing with her, holding her, and having her with me. I don't let her sleep with me because she's dominant or demanding, I sleep with her because I love waking up to her little face pressed against my cheek. I don't think there is anything wrong with loving a pet and while she is really spoiled, it's not because she controls me, it's because I enjoy everything I do with or for her.

Olivia should probably be more independent. She is most obnoxious and misbehaves mostly when she isn't the center of attention. I realize that isn't healthy and I have been leaving her alone more and more so she can get used to it and function like a normal dog. But because she hasn't spent much time alone, I worry about her when I leave her. I know she's fine, but she is a very needy dog and I am the center of her world. Maybe that's weird to say, but it's true. And, well, if I'm being honest, I like that I'm important. By nature, I am a caregiver. I like that I'm needed. I feel most worthwhile in life when I am helping others, being needed by others. It's why I enjoy camp so much- 3 months of constant, 24/7 being needed. It's exhausting and by the end, I'm ready for a break. But mostly, I feel content being able to give of myself.

BF is annoyed that Olivia is so needy. He gets super annoyed when I worry about her, when I call my roommates to check on her. He thinks that her neediness is something that is negative in my life and that I need to get her under control for my sake. He doesn't understand that she is a source of enjoyment, of purpose. I know she's a pet- I know she won't be here forever and I try not to put her needs ahead of actual people in my life. But being able to take care of something is important to me. It's why I'm a good camp director, a good friend, and why I will someday be a good mother.

I'm not sure how to fix this situation. I really like my boyfriend, can imagine myself with him for a long time. I definitely don't want to lose him because of a pet. But other than her having a little more training and obedience, I don't really have much desire to change the way that I act with her. I guess it will just continue to be a process of learning about each other and growing in our relationship.