My boyfriend doesn't like my dog. He thinks she is spoiled and bratty and it drives him crazy that she is so needy.
BF really likes dogs, he used to foster them. I think animals are fine, but generally speaking, I don't really like them. I don't get excited to see, nor do I have a strong desire to pet or interact with strange dogs. I love Olivia, but it's not because she's a dog- I love the role she fills in my life. BF can't relate to my connection with Olivia and I don't really understand his enjoyment of animals. I worry that this is going to become an issue between us. I'm not sure how we are going to find understanding and compromise when we have such different views.
I am the first person to admit that puppy could use a bit more discipline. I am aware that throwing tantrums and screeching until she gets my undivided attention is something I should train her to stop doing. I know that she should eat less bacon, shouldn't sleep with her head on my pillow and that every time she cries and then gets her way, it's reinforcing the bad behavior. I'm working on it, I really am. And I've gotten better- BF would have a heart attack if he knew how spoiled she used to be.
I have wanted a bulldog for years. After years of looking at pictures and dreaming about it, when I finally decided to buy one, it still took 6 months of thought, research, visiting breeders and preparation. I met, fell in love with and put a down payment on Olivia when she was 5 days old. I spent the next 6 weeks making weekly visits to watch her grow. Since bringing her home, I have spent a small fortune on her, devoted a ridiculous amount of time to her and have made her the center of my life.
You can call me a "crazy dog lady" or make fun or judge, but everyone I know has something that they love, spend a lot of money on and, if you don't also enjoy, you could judge as "unnecessary". My roommate spent several thousand dollars on a bike and spends hours and hours training, reading about triathlons and it's her life. I never ever judge people for their interests. If you find something you love and want to spend time and money on, if it brings you happiness, I think it's worthwhile. "Crazy Dog Lady" implies that I don't have friends, don't socialize with people, or don't have anything in my life besides the puppy. None of those things are true.
I love my puppy and she brings me a lot of happiness. I enjoy watching her- everything she does makes me laugh, entertains me, makes me happy. I like playing with her, holding her, and having her with me. I don't let her sleep with me because she's dominant or demanding, I sleep with her because I love waking up to her little face pressed against my cheek. I don't think there is anything wrong with loving a pet and while she is really spoiled, it's not because she controls me, it's because I enjoy everything I do with or for her.
Olivia should probably be more independent. She is most obnoxious and misbehaves mostly when she isn't the center of attention. I realize that isn't healthy and I have been leaving her alone more and more so she can get used to it and function like a normal dog. But because she hasn't spent much time alone, I worry about her when I leave her. I know she's fine, but she is a very needy dog and I am the center of her world. Maybe that's weird to say, but it's true. And, well, if I'm being honest, I like that I'm important. By nature, I am a caregiver. I like that I'm needed. I feel most worthwhile in life when I am helping others, being needed by others. It's why I enjoy camp so much- 3 months of constant, 24/7 being needed. It's exhausting and by the end, I'm ready for a break. But mostly, I feel content being able to give of myself.
BF is annoyed that Olivia is so needy. He gets super annoyed when I worry about her, when I call my roommates to check on her. He thinks that her neediness is something that is negative in my life and that I need to get her under control for my sake. He doesn't understand that she is a source of enjoyment, of purpose. I know she's a pet- I know she won't be here forever and I try not to put her needs ahead of actual people in my life. But being able to take care of something is important to me. It's why I'm a good camp director, a good friend, and why I will someday be a good mother.
I'm not sure how to fix this situation. I really like my boyfriend, can imagine myself with him for a long time. I definitely don't want to lose him because of a pet. But other than her having a little more training and obedience, I don't really have much desire to change the way that I act with her. I guess it will just continue to be a process of learning about each other and growing in our relationship.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
The Lifeguard Plan
My general theory is that when you come up with a plan, no matter how challenging or far fetched, if you don't have a back-up plan, you leave yourself with no other option than to figure it out and make it work. So I will admit that I have a tendency to get an idea, proclaim its brilliance and then dive in head first without looking down, and without hesitation.
It is with this strategy that I have found myself across the globe in remote foreign countries, a homeowner, the clueless master of $3000 bulldog, an executive director, and many other things that I am pleased to say are wonderful parts of my life. I have found success in my strategy, and yet, there is always a point in every plan when frustrated, I throw my hands in the air, cry, shake my head and/or imagine/actually do lay down in the fetal position and think, "next time I have a brilliant plan, I promise promise PROMISE myself, I will think it through and work out the details first."
Maybe next time I will follow that promise.
The lifeguard plan is so brilliant, really, truly one of my best ideas yet. A few years ago, I went through Red Cross training to become a CPR/First Aid instructor so that I could train my summer staff. It's a HUGE pain and also really expensive to find an instructor to come out to camp, and trying to get them certified individually is even worse. So being able to have complete control over training them made my life so easy. Wouldn't that also be true for lifeguards???
Every year, we pay $250-300 per staff that is willing to get trained (usually 4-5 people). It is always a scheduling nightmare to find trainings to send them to that fit into their schedule, are near their school or home, that are completed before camp, and it is expensive. Additionally, it's a short term investment because there is no guarantee that they will return to camp the next year, hence, every year we have to go through the same stressful process. So my logic was that I should become a lifeguard trainer, cutting out the scheduling nightmare and the expense. Brilliant.
Except that I'm not a lifeguard. I can swim, but not well and actually, I don't really like the water that much. But my love of convenience and saving money won out over my distaste for the water and so last week, Monday-Friday, I spent the week in lifeguard class.
In preparation for the class, I spent a few days a week at the pool, but that was in the fall. In order to take the class you have to be able to swim 300 yards. I hadn't been swimming in several months when I went last Sunday. I think I made it about 60 yards when I gave up and went home, defeated, ready to postpone the class. Unfortunately, that was the only time in my schedule it worked, and without a back-up plan, there was no other option.
So I showed up Monday morning, more nervous than I have been for as long as I can remember. In college, I had to take a swim test for my scuba diving class. The instructor was a former Navy Seal who told us we were not to stop swimming unless he was dragging us out of the water. Adrenaline and fear allowed me to pass that test and that was one of my proudest moments in college. I thought about my college instructor as I swam on Monday. There might have been a few moments of dog-paddle/exhausted-just-stay moving flopping, but I made it through. And yes, I was incredibly proud, probably more than I should have been.
It was a long week. Running 3 miles a day keeps me in size 4 pants, but it turns out that it doesn't mean I'm in shape. Swimming is exhausting and my entire body, eyelids to toes was sore. Swimming to the bottom to perform rescues is scary, actually, every time I had to do something with my eyes open under water, I got a little nervous. But by the end of the week, I was 100% more comfortable, confident in my new skills and I actually started to have fun with it. I passed the test with ease on Friday and I am very proud of my new status as a certified lifeguard.
However, there is more to this plan.
It is with this strategy that I have found myself across the globe in remote foreign countries, a homeowner, the clueless master of $3000 bulldog, an executive director, and many other things that I am pleased to say are wonderful parts of my life. I have found success in my strategy, and yet, there is always a point in every plan when frustrated, I throw my hands in the air, cry, shake my head and/or imagine/actually do lay down in the fetal position and think, "next time I have a brilliant plan, I promise promise PROMISE myself, I will think it through and work out the details first."
Maybe next time I will follow that promise.
The lifeguard plan is so brilliant, really, truly one of my best ideas yet. A few years ago, I went through Red Cross training to become a CPR/First Aid instructor so that I could train my summer staff. It's a HUGE pain and also really expensive to find an instructor to come out to camp, and trying to get them certified individually is even worse. So being able to have complete control over training them made my life so easy. Wouldn't that also be true for lifeguards???
Every year, we pay $250-300 per staff that is willing to get trained (usually 4-5 people). It is always a scheduling nightmare to find trainings to send them to that fit into their schedule, are near their school or home, that are completed before camp, and it is expensive. Additionally, it's a short term investment because there is no guarantee that they will return to camp the next year, hence, every year we have to go through the same stressful process. So my logic was that I should become a lifeguard trainer, cutting out the scheduling nightmare and the expense. Brilliant.
Except that I'm not a lifeguard. I can swim, but not well and actually, I don't really like the water that much. But my love of convenience and saving money won out over my distaste for the water and so last week, Monday-Friday, I spent the week in lifeguard class.
In preparation for the class, I spent a few days a week at the pool, but that was in the fall. In order to take the class you have to be able to swim 300 yards. I hadn't been swimming in several months when I went last Sunday. I think I made it about 60 yards when I gave up and went home, defeated, ready to postpone the class. Unfortunately, that was the only time in my schedule it worked, and without a back-up plan, there was no other option.
So I showed up Monday morning, more nervous than I have been for as long as I can remember. In college, I had to take a swim test for my scuba diving class. The instructor was a former Navy Seal who told us we were not to stop swimming unless he was dragging us out of the water. Adrenaline and fear allowed me to pass that test and that was one of my proudest moments in college. I thought about my college instructor as I swam on Monday. There might have been a few moments of dog-paddle/exhausted-just-stay moving flopping, but I made it through. And yes, I was incredibly proud, probably more than I should have been.
It was a long week. Running 3 miles a day keeps me in size 4 pants, but it turns out that it doesn't mean I'm in shape. Swimming is exhausting and my entire body, eyelids to toes was sore. Swimming to the bottom to perform rescues is scary, actually, every time I had to do something with my eyes open under water, I got a little nervous. But by the end of the week, I was 100% more comfortable, confident in my new skills and I actually started to have fun with it. I passed the test with ease on Friday and I am very proud of my new status as a certified lifeguard.
However, there is more to this plan.
- Because now I have to take another class- lifeguard instructor- and I have to be able to swim 550 yards for that class. I'm pretty sure I am going to need some private swim lessons prior to being able to do that.
- I can't find a class that fits into my schedule between now and May, although the Red Cross assures me more will open up.
- Assuming I pass that class, I also need to find a pool near camp to rent. When I first imagined this plan, I was thinking, "they guard in a lake, they can take the class in a lake" which is true. However, the lake water in May is still so cold that my dad wears a wetsuit for the 20 minutes it takes to put the docks in, so training in the water several hours a day isn't going to work out.
Assuming all of those things get worked out, I still have to actually conduct a class and train my staff. Which means that camper safety is 100% my responsibility. Not only is it my camp and I supervise the staff, I will also be the one responsible for training them in the first place. The responsibility of all of that is a bit overwhelming to me. There is nothing more important or scarier than water safety at a camp.
I still think it is a brilliant plan. I just wish I would have realized the magnitude of what I decided to take on. Typical of me, and yet, still surprising that I get myself into these situations.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Rally Day
It was Rally Day on Sunday. This is the second year we held this event to get families excited about camp. Last year went well. It was a small group, but everyone had fun and we got a lot of positive feedback. I was pleased with the result.
This year was even better. We had a ton of people come and everyone was really excited. It was fun to connect with kids and families that I'm getting to know more and more each year. Many of the families that were there weren't registered for camp yet, but were excited about it and planning to sign up. That was really great news because it means we still have a lot of registrations on the way.
My favorite part about the day was seeing campers from last year. Here is an almost verbatim conversation I had with a hilarious 8 year old:
“You’re lucky you don’t have kids! My teacher, says that she isn’t ever having kids.” –camper
“What’s wrong with kids?” –me
(‘it-couldn’t-be-more-obvious-you-idiot’ look, hands thrown up in the air) “They puke all the time!” –camper
“Is there anything good about kids?” –me
(laughs) (rolls eyes) “I’m studying mytheoloology [that’s exactly how he said it] in school. If you look into Medusa’s eyes, you will turn into salt. I had a nightmare last night because of it.” -camper
“If you look directly into Olivia’s eyes, you turn into skittles.” –me
“My counselor this summer, Justin, looked just like Will Smith.” -camper
“Justin is coming back to camp this summer and so are some of his friends. It’s going to be like a huge dance party all the time!” –me
*laughter*mumble*mumble* …distractedly walks away
It was like a tiny piece of the summer. I can't wait for camp!
This year was even better. We had a ton of people come and everyone was really excited. It was fun to connect with kids and families that I'm getting to know more and more each year. Many of the families that were there weren't registered for camp yet, but were excited about it and planning to sign up. That was really great news because it means we still have a lot of registrations on the way.
My favorite part about the day was seeing campers from last year. Here is an almost verbatim conversation I had with a hilarious 8 year old:
“You’re lucky you don’t have kids! My teacher, says that she isn’t ever having kids.” –camper
“What’s wrong with kids?” –me
(‘it-couldn’t-be-more-obvious-you-idiot’ look, hands thrown up in the air) “They puke all the time!” –camper
“Is there anything good about kids?” –me
(laughs) (rolls eyes) “I’m studying mytheoloology [that’s exactly how he said it] in school. If you look into Medusa’s eyes, you will turn into salt. I had a nightmare last night because of it.” -camper
“If you look directly into Olivia’s eyes, you turn into skittles.” –me
“My counselor this summer, Justin, looked just like Will Smith.” -camper
“Justin is coming back to camp this summer and so are some of his friends. It’s going to be like a huge dance party all the time!” –me
*laughter*mumble*mumble* …distractedly walks away
It was like a tiny piece of the summer. I can't wait for camp!
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