Pottery

Everyone on my Christmas list is getting an ashtray. I'm not trying to encourage smoking or anything, it's just that that seems to be the only thing I can make (check the picture... it's just a random image off the internet, but it looks just like mine... you know what I searched to find it? "BAD POTTERY"... it popped right up).

It's not my fault though. I'm 100% blaming the teacher. Why? Is he not teaching? No, in fact, he is just the perfect combination of inspirational and informative, and I think, under different circumstances, I could be a pottery genius just from listening to him. The other students in my class seem to be learning, they're cranking out pottery like it's their job.

But no. Something about him has me smitten, and the smitten-ness is not allowing me to create pottery. It is allowing me to start great pieces, and then when he comes near me to encourage and inspire, I get all jittery and the next thing you know, my clay is squished into a little mess. Not cool, fun or fabulously sexy like on "Ghost". Just sorta frustrating actually. So I have been letting my family and friends know to expect ashtrays and to start preparing their excited/impressed faces, because I created art for them under great duress. I am normally a pretty crafty person, so being the worst in class is not easy. I'm concerned he is going to tell me I need to register for remedial pottery next session and that I will be in class with 8 year olds, blind people and people who have lost their arms and now use their feet for everything. I don't know if I will be able to handle it if I flunk community ed, non-graded, pottery.

Why am I smitten with my pottery teacher? I DON'T KNOW. That's the worst part. He's not big or ripped with muscles, he doesn't seem to be emotionally unavailable and he's not interested in hockey or ultimate fighting, boxing or any other sport where someone could get killed. He is short, bald, pale and quite skinny, soft spoken, extremely kind, positive and encouraging, calm, and smiles a lot... I know, who would be into that? Ick. It's a dumb crush, because, as I am the most high strung person on the planet, his peaceful calm would never work for me. Additionally, I could never be with someone who was more crafty than me. So, I'm getting over it. But people are still getting ashtrays...