For 5 years, I have worked incredibly hard to resuscitate
this camp. And while we have had a lot of positive changes, and made
significant progress forward, I think I am at the point of saying that all of
the effort is no longer worth it.
Yesterday, the local news ran a 6 minute story about a child
molester who is now being investigated with a child abduction. The first 3
minutes of the story were videos and pictures from Camp. This man had been a
counselor in 1997. He had also been convicted of molesting kids at camp.
Seeing the images of my beloved camp used in such a terrible
story was heartbreaking. I have used the same images to convey the exact
opposite message of the story. They showed the big Camp sign my dad built, the
tomahawk range, the message board- I have so many happy memories and have
helped create all of those things. Seeing them used in the story felt so
personal and so sad.
A few days after the story, M (board vice president) asked me if there had
been any fallout. My response was this- “we
haven't gotten any calls or emails and I don't expect to. The fallout happens when someone says, ‘Camp- I've heard of them.
Weren't they just on the news? Yeah, there was some kind of abuse scandal
there.’ They will not remember the detail that it was 20 years ago and actually
has nothing to do with present day Camp.”
My dreams of a beautiful, successful camp are gone. I've been motivated by unwavering hope since the day I began. None of the challenges or setbacks along the way have discouraged me because above all, there has always been hope.
Without that hope, I have lost my
motivation, my desire to fight, my confidence. I feel like I am really bad
at my job, but really, I can only be as good of a camp director as my camp
allows. I feel like I’m not growing or learning or
getting better professionally. I feel broken. I feel defeated.
