Work Weekend is an annual event that camp has had for the past 3 years. About 100 volunteers come to camp for the weekend and help with raking, building and cleaning projects around camp. Camp provides the food and it's a great weekend. The Board member who has planned it for the past few years is a bit of jerk who I can't stand, so I try to put on a smile anytime he speaks and remind myself to be polite. So when he said, "I need you to arrange the keg and I will take care of the cigars" I smiled and said, "ok" although I was a bit taken off guard. I didn't know we were hosting a frat party, nor do I think it is appropriate for a camp that can barely make payroll to provide a keg.
He said it as matter-of-factly as anything else, and no one else seemed to react. I was both taken off guard and also not prepared to disagree with him as the entire table consisted of me, my assistant J and 13 men in their 50s wearing suits. I am still thrown off every time I sit down at the head of the table and say, "okay, let's begin the meeting" as I face all of them, knowing that many of them have children my age. And so I am not yet comfortable enough to be confrontational.
After the meeting, I had another meeting and so I had to practically run out of the room in order to make it on time and so I didn't have a chance to talk to anyone. However, when I got back to the office, J literally lunged at me and immediately starting rapid-fire ranting about how inappropriate a keg is and as a parent (her teenage son is a leader-in-training who will be at Work Weekend with me) she is completely unhappy to know we are providing alcohol... and then our part time helper who comes in once a week joined in, letting me know her mom was planning to volunteer and bring a group of kids and how unhappy she would be...
Calmly I said, "yes, I agree and I will deal with it" although what I really meant was, "chill out, I know, I know, I'm fully aware I have to email our 50 year old board president and scold him."
So I sent a nice email mentioning that I didn't think it was a good idea we serve alcohol (because, ps, it is a dry camp at all other times). And he responded with: "I understand everyone's feelings and expressed to [Board member] that a keg and cigar's around the fire might be a bit much and definitely should never be mixed with staff or children in their presence.
The other side of the issue is that we are asking a bunch of men up to do some extremely physical labor as volunteers. I am wondering if you would be willing to discuss that group, separated on their own away from all others, having a beer afterwards on their own."
To which I immediately typed out a 15 paragraph rant that boiled down to "oh no you did not..." Seriously, did he just attempt to justify with, "you're a girl, you don't get it?" Hello, am I the Executive Director or just a little girl he let's play pretend as long as I agree? And yes, I was just as huffy and outraged and throwing my hands around as it sounds as I typed my rant back.
And then I stopped, deleted it and waited for 2 days until I could respond without moving my head and neck in that super attitude way.
Eventually I responded with, "...We have all volunteers, staff and other guests (family camp, etc) sign a code of ethics, agreeing not to use alcohol, tobacco or drugs while at camp. It seems like a double standard to all those things during work weekend because it’s “a bunch of men up to do some extremely physical labor as volunteers”.
I always think through “worst case scenario” and in this case, if something were to happen, I am not sure how I would explain a decision to ignore our policy. There doesn’t seem to be a good reason to do so. I am thinking about the families, campers and staff I will have at camp that weekend, and I feel that it’s not in their best interest (nor any of the other volunteers who might not drink or smoke) to create this atmosphere.
If this is that big of an issue, I am willing to discuss it further, but I am just not sure why we wouldn’t be consistent and treat this situation the same as any other. I can’t think of any other scenario I would allow a group to bring alcohol and tobacco to camp, much less provide it for them. I feel like it completely undermines our policy and sets us up for trouble..."
To which he responded "Understood, I accept your logic and leadership on this issue. I will speak with [Board member] and communicate that the decision comes from both of us."
At which point I withdrew my fangs, took a deep breath and realized that I need to chill out and not get so defensive. I need to be more confident in my leadership ability because clearly other people see me as such and are respectful. And despite my initial knee-jerk reaction, I am actually pretty logical, calm, practical and know what I'm doing. I don't know why I feel so threatened and get so bent out of shape. I really hope that as I get older and feel more comfortable in my role, and stop seeing myself as a kid that's faking it, I will stop allowing emails like this to get me so worked up. Because, in the end, all of the ranting was pointless.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Travelin'
December- New York, January- volunteering in the city for 4 days, February- Maryland, and Texas, March- volunteering in the city for 3 days, and now, once again, I find myself away from my baby puppy, in a hotel. But this is the last trip until I go to camp and I'm relieved. I love to travel, but I'm exhausted.
This week I am at a camping conference, spending time in sessions learning new ideas about all things camp. Techniques for staff training, new games, rethinking your dining hall menu, how to make a camp stove out of a pop-can... and so on. I get to talk to camp people about camp and already, I have 50 things I want to do this summer.
And today I got to ride in a limo.
The conference hotel is about an hour outside the city. It doesn't have a shuttle and when I looked up taxis, I found it was going to be $100 to get here! So I called the hotel and asked if they recommended any taxi service that might be cheaper and they directed me to a car service. For $45, I arranged a car to pick me up. I was slightly surprised when I walked out of the airport and was greeted by a stretch limo. A bit overkill if you ask me, but I've never been in a limo before, and I enjoyed it immensely. I touched all of the buttons and turned the ceiling light show on, although I resisted stretching my whole body out along the long seat.
When I arrived to the hotel, there were 4 camp vans outside, with people unloading pillows and backpacks. I was slightly embarrassed to get out of a limo, and I wanted to explain to everyone near me that it was really just the cheapest option, and see, I'm rockin' my favorite camp shirt, I'm just like all of you (funny side note, when I called my best friend to tell her about my sweet ride, she said, "I bet you looked awesome getting into a limo wearing khakis, keens and an oversize camp shirt under a vest" ...how well she knows me...).
Anyway, it's a camping conference and there couldn't be a better way to get ready for summer. Just 2 months away!!!!...
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Office Help
Olivia doing some filing in the office.She chewed the corner of the box and destroyed the lid, but she did her best to help out, so that has to count for something.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
If I Had Known Then...
Dear High School Self-
Congratulations on all of your honors classes, straight A's and impressive resume. Someday you will be happy that you made so much effort. But I want to give you some advice.
Honors theology is pointless. You will never, ever use any of it, it won't come up in conversation and you will forget most of the topics and books you read. Likewise, honors biology is also pointless because you won't do anything with science in your career. Honors English is a good class. You will eventually write a blog that, like, 5 or 6 people read, and it will be important to be able to put together concise sentences. As for the rest of your classes, it's super great you get straight A's and your teachers think you are so smart. Enjoy it.
Here's the bad news. You know how self righteous you are about your impressive classes? In the long run, the smarter thing would be to drop some of them and take auto shop. Because in your future, trigonometry, chemistry and history won't help you when your car dies on a major interstate. Basic knowledge, besides what color and how to put gas in it would be useful. A+ papers and tests won't do you any good, so stop acting like those things somehow make you a better person. You go on to run a nonprofit camp, not a career in academia, so seriously, learn some practical things- book smarts aren't going to do you any good. And when your car is not just dead on a major interstate freeway, but also an exit ramp, all of the people honking at you and giving you dirty looks really won't care that you were ranked 4th in your class in high school.
Also, on a different note, date more now so that by the time you are 26, you won't be so awkward.
Love,
Future Self (owner of a 1998 chevy cavalier that doesn't have shocks, a heater and randomly dies when you're on the freeway)
...
I wish I had actually got that letter in high school. But I didn't, so I'm learning those things now... The hard way.
Congratulations on all of your honors classes, straight A's and impressive resume. Someday you will be happy that you made so much effort. But I want to give you some advice.
Honors theology is pointless. You will never, ever use any of it, it won't come up in conversation and you will forget most of the topics and books you read. Likewise, honors biology is also pointless because you won't do anything with science in your career. Honors English is a good class. You will eventually write a blog that, like, 5 or 6 people read, and it will be important to be able to put together concise sentences. As for the rest of your classes, it's super great you get straight A's and your teachers think you are so smart. Enjoy it.
Here's the bad news. You know how self righteous you are about your impressive classes? In the long run, the smarter thing would be to drop some of them and take auto shop. Because in your future, trigonometry, chemistry and history won't help you when your car dies on a major interstate. Basic knowledge, besides what color and how to put gas in it would be useful. A+ papers and tests won't do you any good, so stop acting like those things somehow make you a better person. You go on to run a nonprofit camp, not a career in academia, so seriously, learn some practical things- book smarts aren't going to do you any good. And when your car is not just dead on a major interstate freeway, but also an exit ramp, all of the people honking at you and giving you dirty looks really won't care that you were ranked 4th in your class in high school.
Also, on a different note, date more now so that by the time you are 26, you won't be so awkward.
Love,
Future Self (owner of a 1998 chevy cavalier that doesn't have shocks, a heater and randomly dies when you're on the freeway)
...
I wish I had actually got that letter in high school. But I didn't, so I'm learning those things now... The hard way.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Puppy Stages
Every morning since I brought Olivia home last November, we have done the same thing. I pick her up off my bed (which is very high) and carry her downstairs (which are very steep) and bring her to the back door to go outside.
But this morning, when I reached for her, she walked to the end of the bed, climbed onto her chair that is sitting at the end of the bed, and then climbed down the little staircase that is against the chair (I set all of that up because I envisioned that someday she would be able to get on and off the bed without me, but so far, she only uses it to get ON the bed, never to get off). After she got off the bed, she walked to my bedroom door, and when I opened it, she walked down the hall to the big staircase, and, to my absolute shock, proceeded to climb down the stairs, walk to the back door and then go outside.
At 40 pounds, she is really heavy, and carrying her down the stairs is not the easiest job. She's going to get bigger and I have been hoping that eventually she would be able to do that, but to actually see her do it was amazing. She learned! She's growing up. I wanted to cry. I felt so proud. My baby is not a baby anymore.
And then there was the kitchen incident...
After her big morning, we went about our normal routine, except that I was volunteering all day and overnight. My roommates both had long days and wouldn't be home until late in the evening. Olivia is not used to being alone for any amount of time. She is either with me or at day care, and on rare occasions, she stays in the kitchen for a few hours. But today, I couldn't take her to day care and I couldn't have her with me. I went home halfway through the day and let her outside, fed her, played with her and spent time with her. I left around 4pm and D-Train was coming home at 8:30pm.
I got the call around 9:30. "Do you know what I've been doing for the last 40 minutes?" he asked.
Olivia had knocked over the garbage can, spread coffee grounds and other trash around the kitchen. She also managed to open our pantry door, dig out a Costco size box of hot chocolate packets, tear them open and spread chocolate powder all over the room (and herself). My first concern was if she was okay, but D-Train didn't think she had eaten much of the mess, mostly just spread everything around.
This is the first time she's been destructive or made a mess, so I was surprised. But she also hasn't been left very much. She let her opinion on that matter be known, loud and clear. My baby is not just growing up, but she's getting an attitude...
But this morning, when I reached for her, she walked to the end of the bed, climbed onto her chair that is sitting at the end of the bed, and then climbed down the little staircase that is against the chair (I set all of that up because I envisioned that someday she would be able to get on and off the bed without me, but so far, she only uses it to get ON the bed, never to get off). After she got off the bed, she walked to my bedroom door, and when I opened it, she walked down the hall to the big staircase, and, to my absolute shock, proceeded to climb down the stairs, walk to the back door and then go outside.
At 40 pounds, she is really heavy, and carrying her down the stairs is not the easiest job. She's going to get bigger and I have been hoping that eventually she would be able to do that, but to actually see her do it was amazing. She learned! She's growing up. I wanted to cry. I felt so proud. My baby is not a baby anymore.
And then there was the kitchen incident...
After her big morning, we went about our normal routine, except that I was volunteering all day and overnight. My roommates both had long days and wouldn't be home until late in the evening. Olivia is not used to being alone for any amount of time. She is either with me or at day care, and on rare occasions, she stays in the kitchen for a few hours. But today, I couldn't take her to day care and I couldn't have her with me. I went home halfway through the day and let her outside, fed her, played with her and spent time with her. I left around 4pm and D-Train was coming home at 8:30pm.
I got the call around 9:30. "Do you know what I've been doing for the last 40 minutes?" he asked.
Olivia had knocked over the garbage can, spread coffee grounds and other trash around the kitchen. She also managed to open our pantry door, dig out a Costco size box of hot chocolate packets, tear them open and spread chocolate powder all over the room (and herself). My first concern was if she was okay, but D-Train didn't think she had eaten much of the mess, mostly just spread everything around.
This is the first time she's been destructive or made a mess, so I was surprised. But she also hasn't been left very much. She let her opinion on that matter be known, loud and clear. My baby is not just growing up, but she's getting an attitude...
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Rally Day!
We had our first ever Rally Day for camp today. The YMCA has been doing this event for years to kick off registration, get people excited and get the word out. I decided to steal the idea and try it for us. A local church that has a bowling alley/teen center type area offered it to us and so we had free bowling, face painting, a coloring contest, door prizes and pictures with the camp dog.
I woke up absolutely sick to my stomach and if there had been anyone to call to get out of going, I would have. Unfortunately, it was my event, so I had to go. I haven't been that nervous in a very long time. I was so worried that no one would come. I was terrified it would be me and my volunteers sitting in an empty building. Or worse, only one family would show up and we would awkwardly follow them around because they were the only ones there.
But everything went well! We didn't sell out like some of the Y camps do but we had several families come and they all looked really happy and like they were having a really good time. I am confident that they will all say good things about it and next year it will be an even bigger event. I know that years from now, we will look back on the first year of Rally day and smile. And I'm proud of myself for that.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Back Home
Good bye sunny 80 degrees. Goodbye beautiful gated community filled with gleaming swimming pools, immaculate golf courses, expensive cars, fancy houses and a private airstrip for the neighbors with their own airplanes. It was fun playing house in luxury.
Goodbye nice SUV with shocks and working brakes- I was completely spoiled by that convenience, but it was a nice change of pace from what I usually drive.
Good bye cutest little boys on the planet. You woke up every day at 6am, but you were hilarious and your cuteness melted the early morning angst as soon as I saw you. I think if I was guaranteed that I could have kids as sweet and smart and lovely as you, I might someday consider reproducing.
I'm home from my trip and it's definitely bittersweet. I don't get to see the boys very often and I definitely enjoyed spending time with them. But I love my life and I missed my dog and I'm happy to be home.
Goodbye nice SUV with shocks and working brakes- I was completely spoiled by that convenience, but it was a nice change of pace from what I usually drive.
Good bye cutest little boys on the planet. You woke up every day at 6am, but you were hilarious and your cuteness melted the early morning angst as soon as I saw you. I think if I was guaranteed that I could have kids as sweet and smart and lovely as you, I might someday consider reproducing.
I'm home from my trip and it's definitely bittersweet. I don't get to see the boys very often and I definitely enjoyed spending time with them. But I love my life and I missed my dog and I'm happy to be home.
I Forgot About This Story
I forgot to write about this story at the beginning of the week with the boys.
Scene: two little boys playing on a trampoline. I am 10 feet away. I turn my back for like, 1 second and immediately hear, "ouch! He kicked me!.... It was an accident.... He kicked me!"
I spin around and stare at the boys. They freeze, unsure of what I'm going to do.
"Are you injured? Is any part of you hurt?" I ask the 4 year old
"No, but he kicked me" -4 year old.... "It was an accident" -6 year old
I hold up my hand and they both freeze.
"Well, kick him back and then you'll be even." -me
Stunned silence. They both stare at me, unmoving. On their faces is an expression that, even for little boys, clearly says, "what were mom and dad thinking? Who is this person and is she qualified to be watching us?"
After, I am not exaggerating, 20 seconds of no movement or sound, I say, "You guys need to be careful when you play and you need to be kind to each other. Can you play nicely?"
They both nod.
"Okay, play."
They went back to playing and I didn't hear, "he ______ to me" for the rest of the week. Maybe they're the sweetest kids alive or maybe I rock at conflict resolution. I don't know. But it was an easy week for behavior.
Scene: two little boys playing on a trampoline. I am 10 feet away. I turn my back for like, 1 second and immediately hear, "ouch! He kicked me!.... It was an accident.... He kicked me!"
I spin around and stare at the boys. They freeze, unsure of what I'm going to do.
"Are you injured? Is any part of you hurt?" I ask the 4 year old
"No, but he kicked me" -4 year old.... "It was an accident" -6 year old
I hold up my hand and they both freeze.
"Well, kick him back and then you'll be even." -me
Stunned silence. They both stare at me, unmoving. On their faces is an expression that, even for little boys, clearly says, "what were mom and dad thinking? Who is this person and is she qualified to be watching us?"
After, I am not exaggerating, 20 seconds of no movement or sound, I say, "You guys need to be careful when you play and you need to be kind to each other. Can you play nicely?"
They both nod.
"Okay, play."
They went back to playing and I didn't hear, "he ______ to me" for the rest of the week. Maybe they're the sweetest kids alive or maybe I rock at conflict resolution. I don't know. But it was an easy week for behavior.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Rhyming
Chapter!
Chapter rhymes with "raptor".
He's going to bring a chapter book.
I totally rock at this.
Chapter rhymes with "raptor".
He's going to bring a chapter book.
I totally rock at this.
Details
"Show and tell tomorrow- two things that rhyme". That was the note on the sign-in sheet at preschool today.
"I want to bring a raptor and a flaptor... what does a flaptor look like?" -4 year old S.
"Um, I'm not sure. I'll work on it today." -me
-something for show and tell
On the list of things I need to remember. Check.
I don't know if I was prepared for all of the random details that are part of a 4 and 6 year old's life. J needs running shoes on Tuesday and Thursday for gym class. He has to wear a white tee shirt and jeans for the kinder-rodeo day on Friday. S likes cheese pizza and J likes peperoni. J gets homework Tuesday-Thursday- check his backpack every day. J needs a snack in the side pocket of his backpack, and water in his water bottle. S doesn't need a snack, and apple juice goes in his water bottle.... I could go on.
But the funny thing is, I'm pretty good at this. Well, I don't know if I'm good yet. Their mom is good. She's GOOD. You should see the schedule and the lists she left. She's AMAZING. I'm not at her level yet, but I'm holding my own. The kids are fed and clean. We lay out their clothes at night, their teeth are brushed. They have been on time to school every day and have gotten a bedtime story every night. In between driving to and from school, I've managed to get laundry done, hotdish made, the floors washed, art supplies ready for the afternoon and even gotten some work done. Not too shabby for my first attempt at stay-at-home-mom.
I've been called "evil" a few times due to the fact that I won't let them play wii for hours at a time, but overall, I don't think they will be traumatized by the week (and neither will I). I don't think I'm ready for this full time or anything, but it's kind of fun. Their parents can go on vacation again and I'd be up to the challenge.
"I want to bring a raptor and a flaptor... what does a flaptor look like?" -4 year old S.
"Um, I'm not sure. I'll work on it today." -me
-something for show and tell
On the list of things I need to remember. Check.
I don't know if I was prepared for all of the random details that are part of a 4 and 6 year old's life. J needs running shoes on Tuesday and Thursday for gym class. He has to wear a white tee shirt and jeans for the kinder-rodeo day on Friday. S likes cheese pizza and J likes peperoni. J gets homework Tuesday-Thursday- check his backpack every day. J needs a snack in the side pocket of his backpack, and water in his water bottle. S doesn't need a snack, and apple juice goes in his water bottle.... I could go on.
But the funny thing is, I'm pretty good at this. Well, I don't know if I'm good yet. Their mom is good. She's GOOD. You should see the schedule and the lists she left. She's AMAZING. I'm not at her level yet, but I'm holding my own. The kids are fed and clean. We lay out their clothes at night, their teeth are brushed. They have been on time to school every day and have gotten a bedtime story every night. In between driving to and from school, I've managed to get laundry done, hotdish made, the floors washed, art supplies ready for the afternoon and even gotten some work done. Not too shabby for my first attempt at stay-at-home-mom.
I've been called "evil" a few times due to the fact that I won't let them play wii for hours at a time, but overall, I don't think they will be traumatized by the week (and neither will I). I don't think I'm ready for this full time or anything, but it's kind of fun. Their parents can go on vacation again and I'd be up to the challenge.
Honeymoon
As my cousin and his wife celebrate their 10 year anniversary on the beach's of Hawaii, I think the honeymoon period with me and the little boys has ended. Prior to my arrival, they hadn't seen me since they were 2 and 4, so I was basically a stranger. At camp, newness+ unsureness= perfect behavior for at least 3 or 4 days. I assumed it would be the same with them. They've been happy and having fun, cuddled on my lap and goofy as can be, but they weren't comfortable enough to try anything. Until last night.
Now let me be clear, these are the sweetest, most well behaved kids on the planet. So when I say "misbehave" I'm talking about minor infractions. Playing around instead of eating dinner, saying, "poopie head" 17 times after I asked them to stop. Not exactly punishable offenses, but annoying nonetheless.
I briefly pondered how mad their parents would be if I taught them what the phrase "atomic wedgie" meant, but then I remembered that it was their dad who taught me that in the first place, and just because we're adults now, he's still my big cousin and those are his kids.
And so I put hours and hours of professional development to use and kicked into "super camp director mode". Poor little boys, they didn't stand a chance. Two things they should have known-
1. I work with kids. Lots of kids. Kids on medication for behavior problems. Kids from screwed up families. Teenagers. J and S can scuff up their halos all they want, they couldn't even imagine half the things I've seen kids their age do and they're still angels.
2. For the past 4 months, I've been locked in a fierce battle of wills with a bulldog puppy, ie- the most stubborn being on the planet. Until they go potty on the floor, tear something up with their teeth, run away from me or bite me, they've got nothing on the fat puppy. My patience has become rock solid, I daresay nearly as impressive as my best friend, the third grade teacher. Yeah, that good.
And so I went to work.
Step one- Tempt.
Step two- Distract.
Step three- Engage.
Step four- There is no step four. By that time, they were putty in my hands.
Super camp director mode involves intense playing- running, jumping out from around corners, screaming, growling (I have a great monster impression), chasing, endless chasing, a few toilet jokes thrown in for good measure, and having a new, interesting, "better than ever before" idea every 15-20 minutes. And it ends with me falling into bed at 8:32pm. But it was worth it. Silly boys, game on.
Now let me be clear, these are the sweetest, most well behaved kids on the planet. So when I say "misbehave" I'm talking about minor infractions. Playing around instead of eating dinner, saying, "poopie head" 17 times after I asked them to stop. Not exactly punishable offenses, but annoying nonetheless.
I briefly pondered how mad their parents would be if I taught them what the phrase "atomic wedgie" meant, but then I remembered that it was their dad who taught me that in the first place, and just because we're adults now, he's still my big cousin and those are his kids.
And so I put hours and hours of professional development to use and kicked into "super camp director mode". Poor little boys, they didn't stand a chance. Two things they should have known-
1. I work with kids. Lots of kids. Kids on medication for behavior problems. Kids from screwed up families. Teenagers. J and S can scuff up their halos all they want, they couldn't even imagine half the things I've seen kids their age do and they're still angels.
2. For the past 4 months, I've been locked in a fierce battle of wills with a bulldog puppy, ie- the most stubborn being on the planet. Until they go potty on the floor, tear something up with their teeth, run away from me or bite me, they've got nothing on the fat puppy. My patience has become rock solid, I daresay nearly as impressive as my best friend, the third grade teacher. Yeah, that good.
And so I went to work.
Step one- Tempt.
Step two- Distract.
Step three- Engage.
Step four- There is no step four. By that time, they were putty in my hands.
Super camp director mode involves intense playing- running, jumping out from around corners, screaming, growling (I have a great monster impression), chasing, endless chasing, a few toilet jokes thrown in for good measure, and having a new, interesting, "better than ever before" idea every 15-20 minutes. And it ends with me falling into bed at 8:32pm. But it was worth it. Silly boys, game on.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Fitness
Reasons NOT to Run:
- too cold/snowy
- long day/too tired
- too much to do around the house or at the office
- Fat Puppy needs me
- couch isn't just for looks, someone has to sit on it
Reasons not to run= doughy camp director
As I was packing my bag to come to the sun and warmth of the South, I told myself that if I was going to pack the running shoes and iPod, I was going to have to use them. Plus, if someone is going to give me the gift of warm weather in March, I can't just squander it away indoors.
From the time I drop the little one at preschool until I pick him up, I have about 3 1/2 hours of free time. And so, for the past three days, I have been running. Well, okay, running is a loose term. I usually run about 10 feet and then walk/hobble/whimper the rest of the way. It's an unfortunate thing to witness and I'm not sure what the neighbors will report back to my cousin and his wife, but I couldn't possibly be more pathetic, so it can only get better from here, right?
I will get in shape before the summer. And since I have some free time, I will use it. And so, let the running continue.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Playing House
I've been here four days and things are going smoothly. When we got home from the airport on Saturday morning at 7:30am, the 6 year old grabbed a Sprite, explaining, "Mom and Dad said we could have as many sweets as we wanted while you are here", to which I replied, "but your mom and dad aren't here to take care of you when you get sick, so we have a new deal- you can have as many sweets as you want when they get back." I was ready for them to test me, to push their boundaries and see where I would give in. I'm not a parent but I know a thing or two about child development, so they didn't stand a chance. Kids love the idea of no rules, but in reality, they feel safer and more comfortable when they have an adult who is there to hold them to the rules they claim to hate. And they might claim that I'm, "so mean and no fun" when I make them wash their hands or clean up their toys, but they bounce back within about 20 seconds and are happier in the overall scheme of things.
On Sunday we went to the park and played, "babysitter chases 10 kids around the playground for 3 hours." I had brought my book and had visions of sitting peacefully on the side with the other parents, watching them get out all of their energy. And then the camp director in me kicked in and I was the first one to be "it" in tag. I have said it before- I am not really fun. I like to plan fun things and then supervise. Playing tag isn't usually my department. But I used to be fun, and it came back pretty quickly. Other kids noticed our game and said, "can I play?" and by the end, I knew all their names. Also by the end, the game turned from tag into me chasing everyone, and I was probably more tired than the kids, but they went to sleep without a peep that night, so it was worth the running.
Yesterday I got the full "stay at home mom" experience. Breakfast, packing lunches, driving the 6 year old to school, driving the 4 year old to preschool, going back to pick the preschooler up with all of the moms in their trendy jogging suits, playing outside, checking the 6 year old's backpack to look though his folder of notes home and homework, dinner, bed. In addition to the list above, we also made a variety of really messy craft projects that involved paint, plaster of paris and little boys saying, "our parents never let us do this" (you can take the camp director out of camp, but if you're going to give me kids, you know it's going to result in messy creativity). They made presents for their grandma (my aunt) and I was happy to sit in the sun and enjoy them sitting quietly, completely captivated. By that point, I had chased them on their bikes for longer than I imagined I was capable, and I was drained.
Playing house is fun but their parents also have to worry about housework and running errands, managing their soccer practices, doctor appointments and like, a million other details. I can keep them safe and entertained for a week, but being responsible for their personal development is just to much to imagine being in charge of. They are both very polite, sweet, loving and smart. That doesn't just spontaneously happen; it takes a lot of time and effort. I'm not sure I will ever be up to that challenge. I think a week here and there might be sufficient. This experience came complete with a schedule, directions, money for groceries, kids that pretty much know what they have to do and all I have to do is provide the energy to run, a few crafty ideas and the ability to follow directions. Not a bad deal. By the time the novelty wears off (or the honeymoon phase ends and they stop being on their best behavior), I can go home to my fat puppy and sleeping late (I will never be comfortable with 6am, seriously). For now though, I will chase, craft, cook, tell toilet jokes, and be happy and helpful even when it is so early it is dark outside. And I'm enjoying it.
On Sunday we went to the park and played, "babysitter chases 10 kids around the playground for 3 hours." I had brought my book and had visions of sitting peacefully on the side with the other parents, watching them get out all of their energy. And then the camp director in me kicked in and I was the first one to be "it" in tag. I have said it before- I am not really fun. I like to plan fun things and then supervise. Playing tag isn't usually my department. But I used to be fun, and it came back pretty quickly. Other kids noticed our game and said, "can I play?" and by the end, I knew all their names. Also by the end, the game turned from tag into me chasing everyone, and I was probably more tired than the kids, but they went to sleep without a peep that night, so it was worth the running.
Yesterday I got the full "stay at home mom" experience. Breakfast, packing lunches, driving the 6 year old to school, driving the 4 year old to preschool, going back to pick the preschooler up with all of the moms in their trendy jogging suits, playing outside, checking the 6 year old's backpack to look though his folder of notes home and homework, dinner, bed. In addition to the list above, we also made a variety of really messy craft projects that involved paint, plaster of paris and little boys saying, "our parents never let us do this" (you can take the camp director out of camp, but if you're going to give me kids, you know it's going to result in messy creativity). They made presents for their grandma (my aunt) and I was happy to sit in the sun and enjoy them sitting quietly, completely captivated. By that point, I had chased them on their bikes for longer than I imagined I was capable, and I was drained.
Playing house is fun but their parents also have to worry about housework and running errands, managing their soccer practices, doctor appointments and like, a million other details. I can keep them safe and entertained for a week, but being responsible for their personal development is just to much to imagine being in charge of. They are both very polite, sweet, loving and smart. That doesn't just spontaneously happen; it takes a lot of time and effort. I'm not sure I will ever be up to that challenge. I think a week here and there might be sufficient. This experience came complete with a schedule, directions, money for groceries, kids that pretty much know what they have to do and all I have to do is provide the energy to run, a few crafty ideas and the ability to follow directions. Not a bad deal. By the time the novelty wears off (or the honeymoon phase ends and they stop being on their best behavior), I can go home to my fat puppy and sleeping late (I will never be comfortable with 6am, seriously). For now though, I will chase, craft, cook, tell toilet jokes, and be happy and helpful even when it is so early it is dark outside. And I'm enjoying it.
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